moving towards simplicity; the difficulty of pruning

**canadian gardener** · 08-04-2005, 11:33 AM

thinking this morning, (it happens)

and I was thinking how much harder it is to keep pruning one's life when you've gotten rid of the obvious junk and clutter.

You get rid of "friends" that put you down all the time, you containerize nasty rude family members by not being with them more than absolutely necessary.

You get rid of books you don't read, clothes you don't wear, kitchen equipment you used to use but your life changed.

The stuff and relationships in your life are all reasonably good.

But your life is still too busy, your days are cluttered.

It comes down to the first concept of pruning a life:

Good

Better

Best.

It's hard to realize --"I just can't do it ALL!". For the best to flourish, like a tree, the merely good and some of the better needs to be pruned.

The choice is prune some more, or live with constant pressure.

Eventually something gives-- health, blood pressure or a catastrophe of some sort that makes your semi working system of organization blow up.

Enter the second concept-- Margins:

Margins need to be built into every life. They are the room for living, for mistakes, room to handle catastrophe, room for a simpler easier rhythm of living.

But margins are empty space.

And when we prioritize things into good better best with an eye to pruning back to let the best things flourish;

we forget that margins ARE part of the "best".

Margins in our lives are things like allowing extra space in the closet, so our clothes breathe, and don't get wrinkly, and so they are easier to put away and even pull out. Our whole daily rhythm works better when clothing has margins of empty space.

Drawers are the same. Shoe horns shouldn't be needed to get things in and out.

Shelves.

but think further.

Margins are also leaving a little ahead of time, to allow for traffic, or the unexpected.

If you leave only enough time to "get there" you will be late most of the time. If you have a little margin, you get there with your sanity intact, on time or a tad early (which gives you mental breathing room before any difficult meeting) and makes sure that your whole day's schedule stays on track.

Margins are about allowing time for set up and clean up of a job. When decluttering for 15 minutes for example, you may spend 3 or 4 minutes setting up and cleaning up after 7 or 8 minutes actual work.

Crafts, sewing, cooking all require set up and clean up. Even if you save time by leaving the project out till it's done, it disturbs the serenity of a space.

But a sterile life is not fruitful. Crafts, sewing, art all contribute to a rich full life.

So margins might mean having a craft space and closing the door on it.

And that might need some pruning in order to carve out that space.

Till we realize the priority of arts and crafts in our lives, we don't see it as a necessity, it's more like frivolity.

But when we do a good better best look at it, and INCLUDE MARGINS in our lives we realize, it's a "best" thing that makes us sane and rich and able to give elsewhere.

**Lucky Star** · 08-04-2005, 03:40 PM

Wow - a great post, and very inspiring! I haven't even gone through the first stage of decluttering, so thank you for putting your thoughts together on this so elegantly. Now I'm inspired to do some decluttering myself!

**homesteadmamma** · 08-04-2005, 04:17 PM

I agree Margery.

But a sterile life is not fruitful. Crafts, sewing, art all contribute to a rich full life.

They really do contribute to a rich full life, however only if you don't have umpteen of them. I found doing only a couple brings you far more serenity and peace than does trying every craft on the market.

I think thats why its so important to find what your passion truly is when it comes to the art world especially when your on the journey of simplicity, kwim.

**canadian gardener** · 08-04-2005, 10:18 PM

Yes I agree totally. Pruning down the good and the better among the choices to let the best shine out.

I was thinking some more about why margins, empty space is such a difficult concept.

It's like thinking about zero as a number. It stands for nothing. A null space. A non existence.

So when kids are learning numbers zero can be a hard concept.

And it's amazing how necessary it is for mathematics.

So something that is nothing turns out to be the most valuable of all.

Think for a minute about the absence of colour-- a white background and see for a moment in your minds eye how a white background allows a peice of art to shine.

That is the concept of margins. It leaves breathing room around the parts of our lives so that they can shine and be the BEST.

It's as important as zero, or white. It's like as we carve our way down to zero, and lose stuff

we are left with the sculpture of our lives. Important stuff, the best stuff stays, and becomes the bones of a beautiful life.

**psjkmom** · 08-05-2005, 12:03 AM

Margery, you should write a book (if you haven't already). Your writing is beautiful.

**Mamaw** · 08-05-2005, 04:10 PM

Such deep thoughts but so true. As one who is just starting on the simplicity path, I realize that I clutter my home, my heart and my mind with things that are not supportive of my goal. thanks for giving me something to think about.

**forestdale** · 08-05-2005, 05:29 PM

A totally agree with you about balance, Margery. I think that balance is an important concept in everything we do. The balance of winning and losing, light and dark, emptiness and fulfillment. Each of those things is defined by its opposite. For instance winning isn't anything unless you balance it out by losing occasionally, light is only light because we know what dark is. Music is another example. Music is understood as much by the sound as by the silence - it's not one continuous sound, it's punctuated by its opposite - silence. So too your idea about margins. Margins highlight the activity they attach to and I'm guessing that using margins would simplify tasks by taking off the pressure associated with so many things we do.

**canadian gardener** · 08-05-2005, 06:34 PM

exactly!!!!!

and you are so right, it takes the pressure off.

**canadian gardener** · 01-31-2006, 11:35 AM

bmp

**Nath.** · 01-31-2006, 12:29 PM

I need more "margins" in my life

I will get there....baby steps, but I will get there!

Thank's for that post.

nath.

**Dedlered** · 01-31-2006, 12:55 PM

Very inspiring post ~ Thank you

**tervsforme** · 01-31-2006, 01:03 PM

Wow, what a great post, I'm going to print it out and keep it where I can read it often. I am currently in the decluttering stage! I decluttered myself of a husband already and am currently listing items on e-bay to declutter my house! I am totally ready to embrace the simple life style. I have realized these last few months how little I really need.

**Cele** · 02-04-2006, 09:39 PM

Yes, I have had the health wake-up call. At age 40 I am forced to get my brain around the concept that my overall margins may not be what I once assumed. (I don't mean to sound maudlin...I don't expect to keel over tomorrow or anything.)

That makes me all the more determined to keep pruning.

**canadian gardener** · 02-05-2006, 12:39 PM

Good point Cele, as we age, things change, and our lives and expectation of what we can get done in a day should change with it, or we get perpetually frustrated thinking, now WHY CAN'T I?

There was a cute old Mennonite saying here in Canada, and it goes like this

"too soon old
too late smart"

And I always get a chuckle out of the gentle humourous wisdom in it.