I don't feel good

**mmy2grls** · 05-14-2008, 07:44 PM

The wonderful guy I talked about seeing before, my old high school friend,well it's ended horribly. Yesterday I was helping a friend search around the internet for people she lost contact with. I was having fun so I decided to look up my new boyfriend. I saw enough to indicate that he was married. I immediately called him and told him we were threw and don't want anything to do with a married man and hung up. He lied. I blocked his emails and im's and called my cell provider and had my number changed. I'm done.

I'm so angry and I want to cry so bad. It's been tough being single and I thought I met a really great guy. I felt like crap all day, I had the computer off and just cleaned and played with my children and kept my mind of him. I just want to shake off this angriness and forget about him and move on.

**dianne9106** · 05-14-2008, 07:54 PM

Umm, I have been burned before too. But maybe you should consider that he may be divorced or going through a divorce. I of course do not know all of the details - but there could be more to this than what you think. Is that possible? Is there anyway to verify it without going through him? Can you check with the clerks office to see if a marriage and divorce certificate as been filed? I am sorry - I went through plenty of frogs before I found my prince. Hugs to you!
Dianne

**Lilolme** · 05-14-2008, 11:34 PM

Oh dear! I hope there is some logical explanation. If he is married (not in a divorce etc) you are better off without him. Keep your chin up!

**Edna_E** · 05-15-2008, 12:00 AM

I'd check further. Much info on the web is out of date - so there's certainly the possibility that he USED to be married but is NOT now. I think he deserves a chance to discuss it, and would suggest that you try to arrange meeting at his place - if there's a woman living there, it'll show.

**mmy2grls** · 05-15-2008, 01:12 AM

He just left here. He brought flowers and showed me his divorce papers, he's been divorced for over a year now. I feel like an ass but i'd rather be to cautious

**Odilia** · 05-15-2008, 07:23 AM

Don't feel too bad. He could have been up front about his status and avoided confusion.

**VanVivCam** · 05-15-2008, 08:22 AM

that is wonderful he actually made an effort to show you he was divorced...he must really like you

**Dancing Lotus** · 05-15-2008, 09:39 AM

Originally Posted by VanVivCam

that is wonderful he actually made an effort to show you he was divorced...he must really like you

I agree, I am impressed that he showed you the papers. Don't feel too bad , just forget it and move on. I'm so glad he isn't married.

**stinkbug** · 05-15-2008, 11:19 AM

I'm a little curious why his marital status didn't come up sooner. Most people are pretty up front if they are divorced....I'd still tread lightly. But then...I didn't even let my kids around my dh till we'd been seeing each other for almost a year. I'm weird that way.
Hope it works out for you.

**mmy2grls** · 05-15-2008, 03:12 PM

I assumed being married before would have just came up. I knew he had a 16 year old with a previous girl friend years ago. I asked why he didn't bring up being married before and he said because he did not like her and they were together less than a year and since there was no children he didn't think it was important.

He is sweet and does answer any of my questions without any kind of excuses

**Mom23boys** · 05-15-2008, 08:47 PM

WOW! He must really have feelings for you since he made an effort to show you his divorce papers. I hope things work out the way you want them to.

**Frugal Nurse** · 05-20-2008, 10:12 AM

This actually reminds me of what happened to me.... years ago.
When I was single, I was kind of dating a nice gentle man. My young children liked him. I say 'kind a' because we didn't really go on 'dates'.
He was going through a divorce. (I was told) so money was tight.

Well after a year ... I kind of got a funny feeling that there was soemthing more in the 'delay' in filing.

There was.

So... when I met a man who is now husband - and he said he was divorced I didn't beleive him - and never called him etc.

He showed up with papers in his car visor.

yeah... I gave him a chance then.

I hate for women to get burnt by married men posing to be single so they can get their nooky. hate it.

Listen to the instincts. If you can't call during certain hours, if you can't go out on a date, if you can't meet his children... something is up.

**missmanny** · 07-29-2008, 11:21 PM

Things like this happen a lot and I am glad that you've worked things out. I think that as long as you didn't ask him point blank once if he was married and he lied to your face and told you he never was then I guess he has a right to keep his personal affairs private until he feels like it is the right time to tell you.

Good on you for being vigalent.

A girlfriend of mine recently found out that her BF (they had been together for 18 months - and discussing marriage) was already married, and even further to that had two young kids.

What the? and the worst of the situation was that she just accepted it and took him at his word that he forgot to tell her. I'm glad that when you thought it was bad - you had enough self worth to call it off.

**dolphin** · 07-29-2008, 11:38 PM

I'm so glad that you found out the truth. He sounds like a great guy and sounds like he doesn't want to lose you. But, since you had this insecurity, it sounds like you still need to do lots more "talking" before it goes any farther.

Hugs and hope all goes well. New love is grand isn't it?