not getting/giving enough attention to/from your kid

**frugal is fun** · 09-03-2010, 09:21 AM

I'm really feeling kind of blah today

I'm a single mom, my son is five. I don't usually get home from work until anywhere between 7-7:30pm. My son started school this week.

The past two days when we get home my sons goes literally from the car to my neighors (a woman probably in her mid to late 60's). I think its kind of nice that they have a friendship.

However, on the other hand as I was sitting at the table eating dinner by myself I realized that I haven't seen him for more than 10 minutes, other than the car ride, the past two days.

Well he was just a bear to me, punk and obnoxious is really more the truth. It just got really ugly.

So I put two and two togehter, he's over tired and we haven't spent much time together. So this morning I ask him if he would like to go for a bike ride this weekend together, we can pack a picnic and just spend some time together. First he says no, then he asks if anyone else will be with us, after I tell hi no, that I thought it would be nice for just the two of us he says no again. At this point I just walked away.

About 10 minutes later I told him that he hurt my feelings and that I missed him and thought it would be a nice thing for us to do since we haven't seen each other much. He then of course says he'll go but the hurt has already happened. I know he's only five but being a single mom and working long hours just really really sucks sometimes!

**Russ** · 09-03-2010, 09:29 AM

5y/o was a long long time ago for me, but I really don't remember getting a whole lot of say so when it came to going somewhere with my parents.

Personally, I wouldn't ask, I'd tell him where you both are going.

**melodys** · 09-03-2010, 09:34 AM

It took me about forever to figure out a better solution to the time together dilemma (my son is 16 now), but I think I finally did.

Instead of having a sit down dinner together, we now have a nice breakfast together every morning at the dining room table. I spend a little extra time each morning to make something healthy and hearty. It starts the day off right. We both get a good start to the day with good food, a morning chat, and we are both ready to go to school and work. My son always hated to get up in the morning, but now it is much easier. There are great recipes here Breakfast Recipes - MrBreakfast.com

It might be worth a try.

**dancemommy** · 09-03-2010, 09:35 AM

I"m not a single mom so I can't give you advice in that area- it must be hard- I cannot even imagine. However, I can tell you that the beginning of a school year is a huge transition for everyone and it is every year. The first few weeks kids are often grouchy and tired. I would try to get some kind of a "schedule" going though. Something he can rely on. Like knowing when he gets home it is dinner time with mom and then he can have 15 minutes to visit the neighbor, play outside, whatever. Good luck!

**frugalfoster** · 09-03-2010, 09:46 AM

Being a single mom who works alot of hours is a tough role. The only thing you can do is to try to make time for him a priority....the bike ride is a great idea...maybe do a hike and a picnic.... rent a movie that he loves and watch it together... just make sure that he knows that you are not to busy for him....this is a time in his life that you can not go back and redo...stop...take a breath....and re evaluate your life.. you need your job...you need the money to survive...but find some balance... because without balance life goes askew....

**LynnLC** · 09-03-2010, 10:16 AM

Originally Posted by Russ

5y/o was a long long time ago for me, but I really don't remember getting a whole lot of say so when it came to going somewhere with my parents.

Personally, I wouldn't ask, I'd tell him where you both are going.

Absolutely. I never got a choice. If I had even attempted to say "no" to my mother, hurting her feelings would have been the least of my worries.

**lisaflex** · 09-03-2010, 03:39 PM

i am not a single mom. and wish i had advice for you!

the beginning of the school year is tough for everyone...both parents and children! it is a time of transition until we all get w/ the new routine.

i hope things get better for you! and i am sure they will. he is just adjusting to a new schedule.

our dd is 8 and still goes to bed at 6:45 on school nights! she then sleeps til about 6:30 - 7:10am. just depends. we have found that if we let her stay up later than that, the next day is just bad all around.