seperated- warning long

**frugalfoster** · 04-12-2010, 02:26 PM

It's funny how when someone wants out of a relationship they say "I just want out, I don't want anything".....then, it's oh by the way I want this and this and this.... your best revenge is to use this event in your life to become better. Things happen for a purpose one day you will look at this as being a positive change in your life... Again I say get an education...stand up straight and hold your head proud!!!

**nodmicks** · 04-12-2010, 03:00 PM

I'm so sorry you are going through this Miss Thrifty. BTDT and got the t-shirt. The best revenge is having a fine, productive and happy life. Hugsand hang in there!!!

**Darlene** · 04-12-2010, 05:02 PM

Positive+positive = life filled wiith choices galore. Keep heading toward the good stuff Miss Thrifty!

**piney** · 04-12-2010, 05:22 PM

So sorry you are going though this sending hugs and best wishes your way.

**Libby** · 04-13-2010, 12:59 AM

Firstly - Glad to see you're seeing the positive side of things.

Secondly - we already know he's a wuss but he really should not start sending messages to you 'through' the kids. They shouldn't be punished b/c of his actions/decisions and he needs to realize this - I know you said he's trying to pick a fight but he should remember to fight cleanly and not emotionally scar your children. This is between you two. Children are not pawns. Please point that out to him and/or have a talk with your children and explain that this type of behaviour is not acceptable and is OK to call their father on it.

Thirdly - is it possible to change the locks so he can't come in and 'take' what he wants? Or are you home all the time or do the kids have keys? Not sure of your situation but keep a log of things he says he wants and when just in case they manage to make their way to his new place wherever/whenever that may be.

You're doing great by not letting him bait you...you're a strong woman and you will always be stronger then his juvenile actions. Remember that!

**miss_thrifty** · 04-13-2010, 08:07 AM

yeah i already told him 2x not through the kids plz. If u got something to say that aint about the kids dont want to hear it. keep comments to yourself. Im done taking his crap. Im trying really hard gritting teeth, fake smile on face and staying calm.
He tels me my mother black listed me you know)hes laughing). i said yeah so what. Hesays she only knows your side- i said: listen i told the truth as it was-and told her Im notvtrying to turn your mother against you I told her its between me and you. He made the wrong descions-and showed everyone his attentions of who he wanted- itwasnt me. now he thinks im going to feel guilty-i didnt screw around- he did. grrrrrrrr
i KNOW THE LIGHT AT THE ENDOF THE TUNNEL- and heading on the right direction- and hes mad now because im showing him I can do it,and people are telling me this through friends last night.
Dont matter- ill never take him back- and never trust him again.
I deserve happiness and to be loved and respected.

Originally Posted by Libby

Firstly - Glad to see you're seeing the positive side of things.

Secondly - we already know he's a wuss but he really should not start sending messages to you 'through' the kids. They shouldn't be punished b/c of his actions/decisions and he needs to realize this - I know you said he's trying to pick a fight but he should remember to fight cleanly and not emotionally scar your children. This is between you two. Children are not pawns. Please point that out to him and/or have a talk with your children and explain that this type of behaviour is not acceptable and is OK to call their father on it.

Thirdly - is it possible to change the locks so he can't come in and 'take' what he wants? Or are you home all the time or do the kids have keys? Not sure of your situation but keep a log of things he says he wants and when just in case they manage to make their way to his new place wherever/whenever that may be.

You're doing great by not letting him bait you...you're a strong woman and you will always be stronger then his juvenile actions. Remember that!

**miss_thrifty** · 04-13-2010, 08:10 AM

libby- icant afford lock changes right now and lanlord says it up to me and my exspese. i have the keys back but i know that doesnt mean he doest have a set made. kids know dont let him while im not here- dad can wait outside. fingers crossed i dont have to call the cops on him later on over that tv and bbq.

**Pemberleyan** · 04-13-2010, 09:38 AM

I am so sorry you're going through this. I see Libby has already addressed the things I was going to mention, keeping the children out of it and changing the locks. I hope you can manage that soon or it becomes unnecessary. Keep going, and cry when you have to.

**Rebookie** · 04-13-2010, 11:14 AM

I am so sorry to hear this! It sounds like he moved on already and that's why he had the "nuts" to tell you. I hope you move on to bigger and better things!! You deserve it.. It's hard but try to make it seem like you weren't the one left with the short end of the stick. I hope your family finds some solace! You are a strong woman and no man is worth you losing your selfworth!

Lots of hugs!!

**Libby** · 04-13-2010, 12:12 PM

Originally Posted by miss_thrifty

libby- icant afford lock changes right now and lanlord says it up to me and my exspese. i have the keys back but i know that doesnt mean he doest have a set made. kids know dont let him while im not here- dad can wait outside. fingers crossed i dont have to call the cops on him later on over that tv and bbq.

Is there anyone whom you can borrow $ from for this? Perhaps present it in a way to the landlord that its more of a safety issue and see if they're willing to help out and prevent bad things happening in the future? IE no cops, no claims of break in's on his bldg/property - ie tarnishing his credibility? I know DF used several sites to look up reputable bldgs to move to a few months back. One tiny claim and he did not consider that bldg....he's very picky.

Originally Posted by miss_thrifty

I deserve happiness and to be loved and respected.

Yes, yes you do. And you WILL find it from the right person. Good things come to good people. Your number will be called soon enough!

**ktsmama** · 04-13-2010, 02:37 PM

I am so sorry that this is happening to you! Please take care of yourself.

Just a couple of things I would like to add. Please, please, please get a notebook or something similar and write down everything he says and does from here on out. If you can remember dates and times of previous things happening, write them down, too. Also write down any time he spends with your children.

Another thing, most lawyers will see you for your first visit for free. I would definitely check into this and at least get some advice.

Good luck to you and your children.