seperated- warning long
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  1. #1
    Registered User miss_thrifty's Avatar
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    Unhappy seperated- warning long

    if some of you noticed I havent been on lately is because Ive been going through seperation. My husband as of almost 3 weeks ago told me after March break for us- that we were through after almost 20 years. he says hes not in love with me and hasnt felt like for about 4 years. and heres the number for social services call. I cant help how I feel he says.
    week before back at our friends place , I knew something was up. The first 4 days treated me like crap and dotted on her. skirt tailed her, flirted non stop. Of course when confronted theirs nothing going between both parties. Bull- I put all the duckies in a row Im not in denial and see whats going on. he treats me like crap and her a queen. and all the times I thought I could trust my husband with her alone and when he helped her- I guess I was wrong.
    too many things keeping popping up. and after 2 days when he told me he was through and left he high tailed back to her place- excuse babysit the house - yet he never came back the bday easter day weekend to be with kids. I think it was all planned.
    he turned 40 on easter day. he is going through mid life crisis no doubt about it. dyed the hair pitch black , depression at times( which i thought it was over loss of his best freind(my cousin). greiving. fot the last little while.
    he told me he felt like he could never talk to me when he was leaving-and but guess what she picking up the pieces and he admitted he can talk to her.
    the way he treated me, pushes me away then left me- was disrespect and didnt care if kids saw him flirt over there.
    Im so angry and hurt. he says no councilling he stayed in for 4 years too long. Im devasted at times.this is not my husband.
    not his character.
    Im moving on but the hurt that she may be in the picture down the road is hard.
    Im making plans , next week im looking into going back to school in fall and ideas of maybe medical assistant.2 years of that .
    but for now with councilling Im barely getting by. emotional wise. he and the kids were my whole life. I know that was wrong. and with no extra money it will tight for awhile till I can get up and find something even part time till school starts. socail services are helping.
    Im starting over a chapter i didnt think id ever go through. Im angry, hurt and devastated. overwhelmed and trying to take 1 day at a time. Ill try to be on when i can.

  2. #2
    Registered User ilovechocolate's Avatar
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    I;'m so sorry you're going through this. Feel free to vent to your Village friend.

  3. #3
    Registered User nancycg56's Avatar
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    I was wondering where you were ~ we've missed you in the reading challenge thread!

    I am so sorry that this is going on ~ sending good thoughts to you!!
    Nancy

  4. #4
    jas
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    Registered User jas's Avatar
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    I am so sorry to hear about what is going on. Please do come here and let yourself get it out. We will be here to lift you up and encourage you throught this difficult time.

  5. #5
    Registered User The Muse's Avatar
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    I'm sorry you're going through this. I just went through a divorce with my college sweetheart. We were together for 15 years, married for 9 and it was painful.

    You'll get through one day at a time and there will be happiness on the other end of this. I know it's difficult to see that now, but it's there.

    You're smart to get a new plan in place ASAP. Keep busy, keep planning and it's going to be fine.

  6. #6
    Registered User daughter of pearl's Avatar
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    So sorry you are going through this, but talking about it here will help.

    How old are your kids?

    It sounds like you have developed at last the beginning of a plan for moving forward in a pretty short time span. That's awesome!

  7. #7
    Moderator IntlMom's Avatar
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    Wow~ somehow "I;m sorry" doesn't seem to quite be enough, and yet "I'm sorry"...... really

  8. #8
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    The trouble with getting older...you don't always get wiser...he'll wake up someday and think WHAT DID I DO???? Unfortunately you will be well on your way to a new life by then. Good for you to be going back to school. This is a time for you to grow! Take it one day at a time and keep looking forward!

  9. #9
    Registered User Imarachne's Avatar
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    It sounds like he may have a depression/self worth something going on. Don't get yourself depressed--pray and think positive . We are here for you.

  10. #10
    Registered User bumplett's Avatar
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    You can do this! You can survive anything life brings! We're always here for you to vent to - don't give up, and don't give in!

    Good luck!!
    Don't Breed or Buy While Shelter Pets Die


    married 19 yrs to my
    mom to big J (18)
    mom to little j (11)
    Zena Cherry Max Lilly Chianti

  11. #11
    Super Moderator Darlene's Avatar
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    I'm sorry. Can't change him but I too am glad to see you looking towards the future and taking it a day at a time.
    You are stronger than you think and can make it through this and come out the other side better than OK. All the positive people and positive thoughts you can surround yourself with will help you make a healthy and yes happy life for you an your kids. This not the end, it's a new beginning.
    Take good care.

  12. #12
    Super Moderator Michelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by frugalfoster View Post
    The trouble with getting older...you don't always get wiser...he'll wake up someday and think WHAT DID I DO???? Unfortunately you will be well on your way to a new life by then. Good for you to be going back to school. This is a time for you to grow! Take it one day at a time and keep looking forward!
    :agree:

    I am sorry you're going through this. Make sure to lean on good friends for support and on the friends you've made here too

  13. #13
    Registered User cab54's Avatar
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    OH, I'm so sorry to see you're going through this Miss_Thrifty. (you too, Muse)

    I cannot imagine. My sister is going through this with her husband after 30 years of marriage. After a few months of feeling pretty lousy, she is starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and feeling better.

    My prayers are with you to heal quickly.
    ______
    Cheryl

    "I am still determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance, but by our disposition." -------Martha Washington

  14. #14
    Registered User fairydana's Avatar
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    I am so sorry to hear this. I am glad that you are getting counseling. Hold your head up and keep moving forward. You have all of us here. I wish I could do or say something that would help. Big hugs to you!!
    I love Lee!!

    Mommy to Crixie and Kitney

    "She feels like kicking out the windows and setting fire to this life..."

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    I'm so sorry your going through this. What a scuzbucket he is to do this to you after all those years. As others mentioned keep going to counseling, go back to school and don't forget living well is the best revenge. One day you'll be able to say "Who's Crying Now?"

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