More important now than ever to be a SAHM!

**dancemommy** · 07-16-2010, 03:28 PM

I have been a SAHM for 16 years. My oldest is almost 16 and my youngest is 6. When my first baby was born I looked at him and knew there was NO WAY I was going to be able to leave him in someone else's hands. I adored him and didn't want to miss a single moment of his little life. As the years have gone on we have sacrificed A LOT for me to be home with my kids, but I don't regret it one bit. I have done some WAH projects over the years- Ebay, Amazon, Mystery Shopping, babysitting, etc. to help fund some of the extras. My youngest is entering first grade this year so all of my children are in school all day. I keep having people ask me what I am going to do once they are all in school and I must look at them like they are crazy! I am finding that my kids need me around MORE now than ever as older children. Their activities keep them busier (and needing more rides, etc), their "issues" are more complicated, their homework is more challenging, etc. I am so incredibly thankful that I can continue to be a SAHM to them (although we have started a business and I am now more of a WAHM, but can set my schedule however I want so I am always available to them). Just had no idea that it would remain so important to be around as they got older.

**imagine** · 07-16-2010, 04:00 PM

I agree!
I'm a SAHM of olders too ( mine are 13 and 9) I too have found they need me a lot now.

We had a mentor friend tells when we were newlyweds that if she could do it over again she would have worked when hers were young and stay home with they are older. The teenagers need her so much she said.

He decided they needed us when they were little as well as older so I'm still home with them even though they at school during the day.

**NewLeaf** · 07-16-2010, 05:42 PM

I agree wholeheartedly. I needed to be with my babies when they were younger, and they need me to be with them more now. My guys are 7 and 14 yrs.

**Momto5RN** · 07-16-2010, 10:36 PM

I am working but work around the kids schedules- i had a 7 year LOA from working when my youngest was born - i had planned 1 year and ended up staying home extra for my dhs work schedule and then due to illness.

when my youngest started school i got asked tha alot ..
i also found alot of people assumed i wasnt working because i had no skills or education to get a decent paying job .

when i did go back i got so many " i didnt know you were a nurse " in the school yard picking up the kids - i would just answer umm yes have been since 84 .

also anything i did wahm was kind of dismissed as if it was a " isnt that cute " - like it wasnt a real job type of thing - umm i ran my own ebay business sucessfully for 5-6 years - its a real job !!

I found the whole thing odd LOL I would never ask someone such a question .

But I feel very blessed that even when i was working i have always been able to do it in a way that we never used formal daycare - we may have had a family member or friend sit a few hours between when my dh and i would both be at work - and now i work 100% around the kids schedules .

**AspiringToBeFrugal** · 07-19-2010, 12:09 PM

I agree with you wholeheartedly! While DS is only 18-months old, I have heard from so many people that what I'm doing is "GREAT" and "SO IMPORTANT" (when I respond that I'm a SAHM to their, "So what do you do" question). When I was pregnant and trying to decide if I could stay at home after DS was born, I had SO many women tell me that they wish they had been able to stay home with their kids. I also heard from several women who applauded my desire to stay home as they had done so and said it was the best decision they ever made! Despite the challenges financially, they would do it all over again!

So I know I made the right decision! And I fully plan to remain a SAHM for as long as possible (while perhaps also maintaining a part-time work schedule so I can be among adults every so often!).

**joyofsix** · 07-19-2010, 12:13 PM

Yes, I totally agree. Bigger kids =bigger problems. They still need you.

**Simple me** · 07-19-2010, 03:21 PM

Totally agree. My kids are 13 & 7.
Couldn't leave them with someone else to go back to work.
I quit work when the oldest was born, never went back.
You just never know what could happen.

**Palooka** · 07-20-2010, 01:32 AM

I'm so thankful that I was able to be a SAHM through my daughters teen years. Oh man, did she need me and I really believe she would have been more rebellious if I wasn't there for her. She is a pretty amazing 18 year old and I'm proud of her.

It wasn't always easy, but I'm glad I pretty much made it through raising one kid.

**Liane** · 07-20-2010, 01:51 AM

I have worked outside of the home and inside-lol. My daughter is 14 and I am a SAHM. She is not old enough to drive and the activities and her school are not close enough to walk to, so I have to be around for that. I enjoy getting to see the person she is becoming. Thankfully I know and love all of her friends and get to participate in important events in her life that I might not get to if I was working outside of the home. Personally a lot of people that I know think that SAHM are home like Peg Bundy smoking and eating bon bon's while watching trash tv. You don't know what it is like until you do it. I am busier now than when I worked outside the home. My biggest struggle now is finding time for me only activites. I know, what is that??? Usually I bring my dd with me for things,but I need to take a little time for me. Especially in the summer when it is 24-7, we need a break from each other. Love her to death but there is only so much time we can spend together before I need to do something adult. I have to take my dh out. He is so sweet and we have not been on a date in a really long time.

**Palooka** · 07-20-2010, 02:05 AM

Here is what I find funny. Some people that work full time have more time to play on the puter while they are at work, than me being home with my kids. lol Not that it's a bad thing though.

**nadine64** · 07-20-2010, 03:40 AM

I have to work, but before I even had my children my DH and I decided that I would work nights and he would work days so that one of us is always home with them and for them. I would have loved to be a SAHM, but not realistic in our situation. But I think things have worked great and wouldn't have put them in daycare at all. Sacrificed a lot of sleep in those early years especially, but well worth it.

**AspiringToBeFrugal** · 07-22-2010, 12:45 AM

I have a cousin - a mother of 5 - who is convinced that had she not gone back to work part-time, her oldest daughter would would not be as rebellious (and would not be making the less-than-desireable decisions) as she currently is. She's just short of out-of-control. She's a senior in high school and my cousin is sure that the daughter really could've benefitted from her being around more instead of at work.

**dancemommy** · 07-22-2010, 09:06 AM

I do hear you on needing a little space after the summer though! Our schedule has been incredibly hectic this summer- running kids all day to their activities it seems. I've spent tons of time with them and I am incredibly thankful for that, but I can see that they are ready to go back to school (we get out early for summer here- in May and go back early August) and for the first time, I'm ready too. I'm excited for all this school year holds for them and I can see that they are ready to get structured again. I'm sure by October we'll be begging for summer again though- lol. Love my job- wouldn't trade being a SAHM for anything.