Are You Going to Get a Job When Your Son Starts School??!

**Menifeemom** · 10-17-2011, 10:00 PM

I have been a SAHM for 9 years and wouldn't change a thing. I have loved watching my kids grow up and can see how homeschooling has benefited our family. Since I am home I can focus on the kids and home so my husband can focus on moving up in the company he works for. He wouldn't have reach the position he is currently in if he had to take turns missing work to be home with sick kids and etc. That is how I contribute. I enable him to excell at work and I stretch his income as far as possible. That is a job as far as I'm concerned. It is also important to me because he often works weekends and homeschooling lets us change our schedule to match his. Being together as a family is more important to me than having a career right now.

**annymoll** · 10-17-2011, 10:40 PM

I had just the opposite.I had people telling me that I was a bad mother for working. It was not other working Moms, but stay at home Moms who probably (due to their finances) needed to be working.You can't win.No matter what you choose.So now, I am in a position to lose gracefully. I have no kids in the home, I do not work outside the house- unless I want to- and I have a housekeeper.The laziness and waste.... tsk tsk.

**Handy Andy** · 10-18-2011, 08:25 AM

Guilty

I have asked SAHM friends of mine this before. It's never been because I thought they were lazy, it was more of a conversation starter or because I wanted to know if they were thinking of staying in the same field or trying something new. No one has ever told me it's rude before, I always thought I was being polite by trying to keep their interests in mind should I find an opening that might suit them. Just like my friends have sometimes helped me with stuff I might not have been able to do because of beig at work all day (ie - waiting for the cable guy sometime btw 10 and 5!)

As a working woman I do hear of openings through my professional network and I would do anything I could to help a friend get a foot in the door.

But I promise I won't bring it up unless asked in the future. Perhaps I should check to make sure I haven't offended some of my friends??

**dancemommy** · 10-18-2011, 10:30 AM

I think there will always be a little bit of this between working moms and SAHM's. It isn't necessarily right, but I think it is hard sometimes for each "group" to understand the other. As a SAHM (who does work part time from home so actually a WAHM), I have never been able to understand what motivates my friends, who have plenty of money without working, to put their children in daycare and spend only a few hours a day with them. However, I do know that some of my friends literally HAVE to work even if they aren't making any money after paying childcare. They find it stressful, boring, etc to be home with their children and really "need" the working environment for them. I understand it, but cannot relate as I've never felt that. I even babysat for my best friends baby when he was tiny because she NEEDED to work for sanity reasons and I couldn't stand the thought of this teeny tiny baby in daycare. It actually worked out great for both of us and I'm thankful I could do it, but even now that her kids are older preschoolers/younger elementary school aged she chooses to have them in daycare 5 days a week even though she works only 4 because she is so busy in her professional life. I can't relate. I work from home, but only work when my kids are in school or asleep. I want to be here for them when they get home. I don't want to scramble if they are sick. I want to know what they are doing after school. I want them to have the opportunity to participate in any activities they want and that requires me to be able to transport them after school. I want to spend summers with them and their school breaks. I love spending time with my kids. I do have "me" time as well- they are in school. I clean, cook, pay bills, and work from home, but I sneak in a little me time each week too. I don't anticipate ever working outside the home. I have no interest in it. I do know that some moms have to work financially. I am thankful I do not and cannot imagine being in that situation. We have made a lot of sacrifices so that I have been able to be home, but in my opinion it is well worth it.

QM · 10-18-2011, 10:48 AM

My SIL has asked me a few times if I'm going to go back into the workforce when my girls are both in school full time. What she doesn't seem to grasp (even with her University degree mentality) is that I MAKE MORE MONEY staying at home doing home childcare than if I went to work. Currently I have four full time daycare children. That brings in a pretty penny at the end of the year. By the time I would pay my taxes, buy nicer clothes for work, pay for before and after school care, pay for summer care when the girls are out of school...I'd make WAY LESS than what I do now. People are often dumb when it comes to numbers. I love being there when my kids walk out of school. I love being there in the summer with them...even though I have other kids in my care. I love being there on their sick days and PD days. I wouldn't trade this precious time for the world!

The other benefit for staying at home is that I save more money by getting things done myself (ironing DH's shirts instead of sending them to the drycleaner), making my own muffins (instead of buying pre-made in the store) and the list could go on. I wouldn't be able to be as frugal as I am if I had a 7 to 5 job. When would I find the time to think about frugality?!

**Sonnenwende** · 10-19-2011, 02:04 PM

I have worked most of my daughter's life. She started FT kindergarten last month, so in theory, I should go back to work part-time. In practice, it would be a major PITA. My husband's job is work at home, except for when it is not. He is on 24/7 call and can be gone for days at a time at a moment's notice. So we don't need daycare except when we do. Because of his job, it makes it difficult to work any holidays or weekends because of potential childcare issues. We have no family here as backup.

Since we are able to comfortably afford for me to stay at home, there is no pressure for me to run out and get a job. Still, I'd like to get out of the house and make some extra money. But I don't know how much sense that makes to do it when I don't need to do it. I am looking for something to do from home. I wish I could also go take some courses at the community college here, but I am still an out-of-state resident for tuition purposes until the end of March. I do do some volunteering work as it comes up.

I understand where others are coming from before they know my complete situation. I am the mother of one schoolaged child who is not homeschooled with zero plans to have any more. Seems lazy that I stay at home with no kids most of the day while they have to work. I do get that.