help again

[helpME]

well she is still up to her tricks....everything we do and i mean EVERYTHING we do, she tries to make it as hard as possible for us. DH insurance changed at work, so we have to change the kids dentist as the current dr is out of network due to the change...shouldnt it be simple, send her the new list of participating dr's so she can choose...oh no, she needs proof that co changed it and not DH, now we cant see the kids all day easter becuase her family is coming down. the only holidays my DH has had with his kids since 2001 are 2 hours christmas eve (2006) and 5 hours christmas day (2006) that is it, no thanksgivings nothing...and even when we got them on christmas eve she tried to ruin it....long story >>
i know that we are 'letting' her run our lives and control the situation,, what are we supposed to do though, even if we stand up to her,..which we really are trying to do right now(but trying to do the right thing for the kids at the same time) even if we tell her this is how it is going to be she still changes it anyway!! she is unbelievable the things she does.. it was spring break last week, my husband had taken the week off, he called to see if he could get the kids on saturday (st patricks day) take them to a parade or something..you know what she said...no becuase her husband had been working all week and they needed to spend time with HIM>....they can spend time with their step father with whom they live..he sees them all the time... but not their real father who missesthem terribly. it is so frustrating, we then called and asked if we could see them thursday or friday...she said no too!
what about the Fathers rights??? i know we need to fight this in a court of law..but what do we do until then??? not a day goes by without her trying to interfere in our happiness
h e l p !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[FrugalMomof3]

Do you have a child support order in effect? What about a divorce decree? There are father's rights, you can ask for a hearing in the domestic relations section in your county and ask about a set visitation schedule and every other holiday. I know here in our county to request such a thing it's only $10 and you get a mediator. They will also want to speak to the children if they are old enough to express their own opinions (they will speak to them in private without a parent present).

I am really really sorry you are going through this, please dont dispair, help is on the way, one day she is going to need something from you and DH and all you have to do is say NO! She's doing all this because your DH doesnt fight for his rights, believe me I know, my DH never did and then we went to a mediator, who settled everything.

When you do go you have to tell them everything, my DH told the lady that he was tired of the mother bad mouthing him, talking about his wife (me), etc... it was mentioned in the ammended child support stuff that:
~ At no time should one parent disrespect the oher parent by any means.
~ No using foul language on front of the children
~ No drinking or smoking in front of the children

I am a smoker, she had to complain about the smoke (but I never DID smoke around them... EVER!) but it didnt bother me, she even fought about NOT having them stay over a night, changing visitation times to her convenience, etc... it all backfired on her because all we had to do was talk in front of a mediator and let it all out, the mediator saw right through DH's ex and gave us everything we wanted.

Good luck AND let us know how things turn out, I am praying for you and your family.

[wildflowerpa]

This might sound a bit odd but our attorney told us to document everything.Time,date,what was said/done. Anything that can help your case. Also to make a list of the things that need changed like the visitation ect. It really did help the attorney to compile a case and we won.Our situation was different because of the drugs and alchol that was involved but now we have full custody and she lost all her rights. Since she doesn't pay support she has no visitation unless we say so and only supervised. (She has never even offered to see her daughter and has called her three times in the last year) Maybe this will help get you started. I know that sometimes that's the hardest part...getting started.