I feel much better! Had the "money talk" with my boyfriend.

**KJayEsq** · 12-08-2007, 01:58 AM

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now, though we knew each other for several years before deciding to date. Anyway, it was only recently that I decided to get a handle on my finances and I was really concerned that he wouldn't take it well. We really enjoy going out on the weekends and having nice dinners, etc.

I am trying the Total Money Makeover, so I just started the envelope program. I mentioned it to my BF this evening and basically told him that I was really trying to make a dent in my finances and that I had bought a "debt management book" and was following that program. He immediately told me about a co-worker of his who was all fired up about a debt management book she read and that this co-worker was doing a program from a book too. When I mentioned the name Dave Ramsey, my BF immediately said "Yeah! That's the guy!"

I was SO relieved. He thinks it's cool and he's trying to get his finances under control too! It's really hard to talk about these things but once the subject came up I found it was really easy to hash it all out.

I guess I should have given him more credit to begin with, but you never know how people will react. I always assume people will think "what do you mean? You have a post-graduate degree and you can't get your finances under control?" Well...the short answer to that is...NO! I can't. Not until now anyway. LOL!

So anyway, I am feeling 100% better that this issue is out in the open between us and we can move forward. We do not live together or anything like that, but we would like to get married and I, for one, do not feel comfortable bringing my debt into a marriage.

OK...bring on the Total Money Makeover!

**Royal** · 12-08-2007, 02:54 AM

WTG! That must feel so good that it's out in the open and that you guys can do this together. You guys can now attack the debt as a team!!

**Its_Donna** · 12-08-2007, 07:41 AM

WTG!

We're here to cheer you both on and remember that it takes 1 day at a time.

**Nantahala** · 12-08-2007, 08:10 AM

Congrats on getting everything out in the open and taking all the steps you are taking with TTMO!

**yonksgirl** · 12-08-2007, 08:21 AM

Good for you! That is great you do not want to bring debt into the marriage, and if you can agree on money now then you will have a much easier time once you say the big "I do"! Congrats!

**nodmicks** · 12-08-2007, 08:38 AM

Way to go!!!! I'm glad your on the same page!

**Darlene** · 12-08-2007, 08:44 AM

Good for you, no elephants in your living room.

Between you, your BF, Dave, FV & all the competitions you've been in, you're in great shape to kick some debt butt.

PS.He sounds like a neat guy.

**kittykatstrong** · 12-08-2007, 10:01 AM

Money is a huge reason married people fight. Glad you got it out in the open now.

**pammy** · 12-08-2007, 10:09 AM

Awesome!!! You're on the right track. If you do TMMO, it works!! Best of luck.

**HappyMama** · 12-08-2007, 10:24 AM

Good for you! We are TMMO people and love it.

**Michelle68** · 12-08-2007, 11:10 AM

WTG, getting your boyfriend on board! The TMMO is a great program for getting your finances in order.

--Michelle

**KJayEsq** · 12-08-2007, 12:06 PM

And I probably would not have had the guts to bring it up if I hadn't found this forum. So I'd like to send a great big THANKS to all of you at FV!!

**cottageliving** · 12-08-2007, 11:11 PM

Excellent news!! Now you know that your bf will respect the choices and changes you are making in your life that will have a positive impact on your lives together.

Keep us updated on the money saving changes you make.

**monkeymia** · 12-09-2007, 01:26 AM

Its great when your partner is on the same page as you.

**KJayEsq** · 12-12-2007, 10:07 PM

Originally Posted by cottageliving

Excellent news!! Now you know that your bf will respect the choices and changes you are making in your life that will have a positive impact on your lives together.

Keep us updated on the money saving changes you make.

Since you asked...

OK, since 11-25-07 when I decided enough was enough, I have done a written budget for the first time ever and have started attacking areas that could be attacked. Some examples:

- I cut my cable bill by $53 per month by bundling TV/internet/phone together
- I use envelopes for groceries (amount determined by the "grocery challenge" from FV!), gas, entertainment, etc.
- One of my MySpace "friends," that I've never met, is a hairstylist in my city, so I decided to email her and see what her rates were. Turns out she can do the same cut/color at less than half of what my current stylist charges. I made an apt with her and cancelled with my usual stylist.
- I have not eaten fast food once since taking this on.
- I cancelled a gym membership I never use.
- I cancelled a wine club membership I didn't need.

I'm sure I could think of some more, but that's the beginning. Our year-end bonus is due to us (hopefully) this week, so I will use that to finish my EF and make a dent in this debt. That will free up more money to start my snowball. YAY!

I am finding it easier in general to talk about money as well. For instance, I was under the impression that a co-worker and I were to receive our bonuses (we are separate from other employees because of our seniority) at the same time everybody else does (on Dec 21). I thought it would be terribly embarrassing to admit that I needed the money for XMas shopping,

but it wasn't at all! I just told our senior partner that I intended to use some of that money for XMas shopping and waiting until the 21st would be too much time pressure to get all the shopping done. He said "no problem." Now THAT was easy!