GRRRRR.......MY SISTER

**MOMMYDEAREST** · 11-27-2005, 08:42 PM

HELLO EVERYONE- I'M STILLPRETTY NEW AT THIS WHOLE VILLAGE THING. BUT I HAVE A QUESTION I HAVE TO ASK YOU. MY SISTER IS 23YRS OLD & SHE HAS A 10MTH OLD DAUGHTER. HER BOYFRIEND (BABYS DAD) IS CONSTANTLY HITTING ON HER. WELL LAST NIGHT, HE BEAT HER UP PRETTY BAD. I'M SO TIRED OF BEING THERE FOR HER, THEN SHE RUNS RIGHT BACK TO HIM. MY SISTERS BABY MEANS THE WORLD TO ME, AND I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HER. SHE SUPPOSABLY KICKED HIM OUT (FOR NOW). WHEN DO I DRAW THE LINE??? MY PARENTS ARE ABOUT READY TO TELL HER NOT TO CALL THEM ANYMORE UNTIL SHE GETS RID OF HER BOYFRIEND BECAUSE THEY ARE SO DISGUSTED WITH THE WHOLE SITUATION. IT JUST SEEMS LIKE THINGS WILL NEVER CHANGE. SHE HAD HER LOCKS CHANGED TODAY ON HER APARTMENT SO HE COULDN'T COME BACK IN. MY SISTER WENT TO GO STAY WITH MY MOM FOR A COUPLE DAYS OUT OF TOWN. ANYONE HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR ME........I'M SO UPSET ABOUT THIS & I'M AT MY WITS END

**MACMOM6** · 11-27-2005, 09:45 PM

Angie,
You know you will be there for her, ALWAYS...Let's just all pray she comes to her senses and dumps him for good. Her and Amya would be so much better off. Just be a shoulder for her and try to keep her focused on what is best for her and her daughter.

Take Care,

**Kimberlina** · 11-27-2005, 09:52 PM

Wow- tough situation.

There is nothing you can do to make her leave him if she doesn't want to. It just won't happen until she is really ready. But if there is any chance that the baby is in danger, you MUST call child protective services, even if it is the hardest thing you ever do in your life.

You can only do/tolerate as much as you can. I think in many relationships like this, there comes a time when a person has to cut the ties and get the toxicity (in this case the situation with your sister) out of their own life before it causes too many problems for them. However, you are the ONLY one who can make that decision, if it comes to that.

In the meantime It sounds like your sister could use some counseling with someone who specializes in battered women. You might even want to go in for an appoinment with the same counselor, or someone else who specializes in this, so that you can understand what she is doing and why, because it may be easier for you to deal with (no matter how you end up handling it) if you have some insight into the real dynamics here.

You might want to try calling the local women's shelter and ask them if you can get a referral to a therapist for your sister, and even make an appoinment for yourself; then, if you can afford it, offer (to your sister) to pay whatever fee there is for a session or two and encourage her to seek professional help. She probably doesn't even really know, when she is thinking rationally, why she keeps going back into this situation. (My guess would be that a battered women's shelter would offer this service either free or very inexpensively to someone like your sister.)

and best of luck in this trying situation.

**kaykwilts** · 11-27-2005, 10:34 PM

I could never understand why a woman would to volunteer to be a punching bag for a man. Please pray that she comes to her senses before he does something really serious. Maybe in her misguided thinking she thinks she is staying with him for the sake of the baby.

**SammeyG** · 11-28-2005, 01:04 AM

Mommydearest I went through somewhat the same thing. But I was the one that was getting mental abuse from my daughter's father. At the time I was trying to stay with him for the sake of my daughter. I came from a divorced home and wanted something different for my daughter. I kept telling myself that she was going to have both parents under 1 roof. All the while I was ignoring everyone's else advice. Well to make a long story short I lost all of my parental rights off my daughter to my father. I still get to see her and have her for visits. But looking back now I wished that I would have listened to my family. Then I wouldn't have lost her. But take some of the suggestions that the other people on here has mentioned.

**MOMMYDEAREST** · 11-28-2005, 08:04 AM

THANKS YOU GUYS. THIS HAS BEEN SUCH A ROLLER COASTER FOR ME. MACMOM6 KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH. I APPRECIATE ALL FOR YOUR ADVICE & I'M GOING TO USE YOUR ADVICE ALSO. THANKS YOU ALL FOR BEING SOOOOOO UNDERSTANDING...THATS WHY I LOVE THIS VILLAGE SOOOOO MUCH

**forestdale** · 11-28-2005, 02:40 PM

Mommydearest, I agree with Kimberlina. Can you get her to go to a counsellor who specialises in this kind of abuse? I hope you can get her some help and that she does what's best for herself and her child.

BTW, I find your posts very hard to read when you use all captials.