I need an "ignore" button for people IRL

**AmyMCGS** · 06-20-2008, 10:14 PM

Anybody know of one? I envision it like the "easy" button in the office supply commerials.

Seriously, there are two people in my life right now that are driving me absolutely crazy with their nasty comments and their criticisms.

Biting my tongue and trying to "rise above" is really building up on me and I feel like the next time one of them ticks me off, I'm going to absolutely explode.

Staying away from them is not an option... I would if I could. Talking things out is not possible for several specific reasons, none of which I want to get into in a public forum... just trust me when I say that my only option at this point is to grin and bear it for a the forseeable future.

Unfortunately, grinning and bearing it is turning me into a crabby person myself, and I'm also stress-eating and not sleeping well. It's turning into a vicious cycle... I'm tired, then I have to deal with one of these people, then I'm really grumpy, then I don't sleep well.... over and over.

So, unless someone has that "ignore" button (I'm willing to pay full price, doesn't even have to have a coupon, LOL) I need some new stress reducing ideas. All the lavender and bubble baths in the world aren't working for me right now... anyone have any other good (cheap) stress reducers?

p.s. Your own stories of dealing with difficult people would be welcome right now, too... I'm sure I'm not the only one who's ever been in this situation!

**AmyMCGS** · 06-20-2008, 11:16 PM

Answering my own thread here... just wanted to say that the thread about difficult in-laws made me smile. Not that either of these people is an in-law or anything... wink, wink....

**Drgnfly423** · 06-21-2008, 12:22 AM

I am pickin' up what you're puttin' down. LOL. I think we all go through "seasons" with people in our lives. I know there are weeks that I can't even be in the same room with my mother. Just hearing her voice can drive me nuts. But the next week I'll be fine. I just need some space from her. I hope you can keep grinning and bearing it! Sometimes we just have to be the "better people"

I notice you said something about them saying nasty comments and criticisms. That can be hard to constantly hear from someone. Even if it is not about you. It's hard to be around a negative "energy" without it flowing into you, too. As new agey as it sounds, it's been true for me, and I'm not really into new agey stuff.

**luv-my-lexi** · 06-21-2008, 12:52 AM

Drink.....Heavily.....Anytime you have to be around them.

Seriously, I have no answer for you. I know that it is so hard to stay upbeat and happy when someone is constantly bringing you down. What if you just confronted them when something nasty is said as in "I don't appreciate what you just said to me" or "why would you say something like that to me?" and walk off. Would that make them think about it at all or just make the situation worse? I have found that sometimes just confronting a "bully" type person works wonders.....they figure out you aren't a pushover and stop bothering you. Sorry you are in this situation.

**Michelle** · 06-21-2008, 10:13 AM

I had a feeling it would be your in-laws. I go through the same thing, and unfortunately I don't have any advice. I have so much anger toward one of them, and I see that person ALL.the.time!!

Sorry I can't offer any advice, but for what it's worth, you are not alone.

**PrairieRose** · 06-21-2008, 10:49 AM

My best suggestion would be to get Joel Osteen's book Your Best Life Now. It's a great book with lots of good advice on how to handle the challenges that life puts before us. I know it's not a fix all but it might help a little bit.

**Michelle** · 06-22-2008, 08:05 AM

Originally Posted by PrairieRose

My best suggestion would be to get Joel Osteen's book Your Best Life Now. It's a great book with lots of good advice on how to handle the challenges that life puts before us. I know it's not a fix all but it might help a little bit.

Thank you for this recommendation. I am going to see if I can find it at my library.

**TheRootedNomad** · 06-22-2008, 08:29 AM

Wish I had lots of good advice for this one. The only thing I can think of to say is that when I get really angry ( I mean REALLY angry) I've been known to hit the glass recycle bin and throw bottles against the wall in the garage. I close myself in and I throw as hard as I can and enjoy the noise. Most times I mutter as I go all the things I would want to say. I've only done this a few times, when I was so angry I knew I was going to do something I'd really regret later. It definately helped though. I threw until I was exhausted and had nothing left to say. Then I'd clean up immediately, slowly. By the time I'd get back in the house I was drained but in a much better space. Physical release, such as excersize or any other kind

, is much better for us than stress eating and seething.

Hope you find some peace soon.

**dolphin** · 06-30-2008, 09:29 PM

Drink.....Heavily.....Anytime you have to be around them.

Try your best to avoid the negative people in your life.

Sending your good vibes.

**Marie78** · 06-30-2008, 09:41 PM

Thankfully there aren't too many people in my life like this. However, there are a few at work and I just avoid them as often as I can. I know it's harder if you are related to them. I find after a really bad day walking helps clear my head and gets in some much needed exercise. I have been going for a mid-day walk at work now too: Gets me away from the people who bother me and I get some exercise instead of hitting the snacks. I wish you luck with your situation: "This to shall pass, like unwelcme gas."

**Persimmon Lace** · 07-01-2008, 11:42 AM

I use the deflect method.

"Oh my goodness, you seem to have got up on the wrong side of the bed"

"Do you need some advil/tylenol for that nasty headache you have?"

"I saw 2 dogs on the way here pushing a stroller with a cat in it".

I have also been known to giggle then laugh out loud when someone is being hyper critical or stupidly annoying, then smiling and changing the subject. Repeat as necessary. But then that is one of my natural tendencies.

However with family, I just come out and say something like "evidently you are feeling critical/negative about something I've done or you think I've done unless you are willing to discuss this in a civilized manner I will be leaving the room when/if this starts up." Then do it! Again repeat as necessary.

I have friends who are having to do this with controlling parents and are finding that they are able to change the dynamics of the relationships even after all this time. People don't know what to do when you change what you do.

The definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over again with the same result and that means responding in the same way over and over again. It takes some practice on your part but it is worth it in the end.

You can't change someone else only your reaction to their actions. Bless your heart! Life is too short to let someone else's behaviour get to you like that.