My heart is breaking for my DS#1

**FrugalMomof3** · 08-26-2008, 08:01 AM

I am so sorry this happened to your family, I understand how cruel and hurtful this is and all you can do is hope that your son and this woman have learned to be careful in the future.

I am sorry to say that your son isn't the only person who has been scammed and guess what? He wont get a penny back in child support, isn't that a kicker?

I would stop paying the child support ASAP and contact the local vital statistics and ask about changing the fathers name on the birth certificate as well as contact the local child support enforcement agency with the proof of non-paternity then also tell them what the ex-gf has mentioned about it being the ex-bf's baby.

**iida** · 08-26-2008, 11:08 AM

So sad. I don´t know what to say, such a difficult situation. Hugs!!

**chevy_chick95** · 08-26-2008, 11:16 AM

Will be praying for you family. That is so sad.

**kcsmom76** · 08-26-2008, 01:12 PM

Michelle, I am so sorry your family is going through this. Sending (((hugs))) and prayers for all of you.

**voodidit** · 08-26-2008, 03:54 PM

I'm so sorry your DS and your family is having to deal with this.

**Suzy** · 08-26-2008, 03:58 PM

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry!!!!

**Mom23boys** · 08-26-2008, 07:25 PM

Originally Posted by Michelle

How is Richard doing, Michelle? How are *you* doing? I can't imagine the pain involved.

Richard is up and down with his emotions. He has been so distraught that he didn't even go to work yesterday. When he went in today, he explained the situation and they are trying to help him. He still has feelings for her - I don't understand it still. He has decided to follow through with legal advice and take his name off of the birth certificate. He knows she will be upset with him for wanting it removed, but he said he is doing it because if things do not work for them he will not end up paying for a child that is not his for 17 more years! I truely do not see them staying together because their relationship has never been stable and then you add this too it. It is just a matter of time. I am just glad he finally saw the light about the birth certificate issue!

It will take time for him to get over this. He said everytime she tells him she loves him, he doubts her. I wonder why??

I am doing better. I am still angry with the lies she led us all to believe. I am angry that Richard will not just let her be. I am angry that I got attached to the baby and now she is no longer my grandbaby. BUT, on the other hand, I am relieved that Richard did not ruin this girl's life. He showed his maturity when he stepped up to the plate and accepted her as his child. He paid support every month and did what he could for her. I am proud of him for that. It is weird to say, but in a way I am relieved because he has been giving a second chance. I am hoping that he makes better choices this time around.

Thanks for asking.

**Goodwin17** · 09-04-2008, 09:54 PM

Oh dear!! My heart breaks for your whole family! I am SO sorry you are all having to go through this. I cannot even imagine becoming so attached to a beautiful child for almost a year in that way, only to learn otherwise. My thoughts are with your whole family, especially your son.

**perSue** · 09-05-2008, 11:51 AM

Mom23boys...

I have a family member who went thru the EXACT same thing.
For a couple years actually... he "knew" the child wasnt his, but he wanted to have a family SO bad he just overlooked it.
It wasn't til "it" hit the fan, he went to the courts, got a paternity test, and was absolved of all responsibility... and he did end up getting a divorce (more because of the woman... but that's another story!).

It was painful... it was hard.
But he got through it... he's moved on.

Feel free to PM me if you want more details or whatever.

**Mom23boys** · 09-06-2008, 07:05 PM

Update on this situation....

DS may finally be coming around to seeing the light. His GF is very manipulative and can convince him to do anything....as you can tell. She has not once apologized for cheating. When he asks her if there is anything she would like to say about it. She tells him "what would you like me to say?" :pullhair: She does not think she has done anything wrong, but he can do no right in her eyes. She even convinced him to go ahead with the wedding, move up the date, and keep his name on the birth certificate. BUT, thank goodness for DS's friends. Because of them he may just break all ties with the GF. He has went out twice with a new "girl" friend he met through his friends. She seems really nice and funny.....way different then the other one. He has been ignoring the GF's phone calls and asked if we would go ahead and start the process to remove his name. He has begun thinking that he doesn't want his biological children to have to suffer because he would have to take money from them to pay for a child that isn't even his if he decides to leave things as they are. I hope and pray that this is an answer to our prayers. I do not know if I will be able to ever like the GF because of what she did to my son. As a parent, you do not want to see your children hurt and she really hurt him, so I do not think I can forgive her and move past it.

So, hopefully DS is moving on with his life and thinking more clearly now!! I hope this continues!!