post divorce - how was your recovery?

[ladykemma2]

i was pondering today on "one year post divorce" status today. it's interesting, this new year seems to be the "year after the year of divorce" aka the year of "mopping up" and goal setting.

i have been clearing clutter that happened when i simply couldn't deal.

i have been rearranging furniture and paintings. i have been rehabilitating the neglected flower beds. a lot of them have been allowed to go back to sod - easier to care for.

i want a chest of drawers, like a credenza, shaker style painted black with bun feet (looking for second hand). i want a howard miller grandfather clock (fat chance!). i want to get rid of the navy blue curtains and replace them with thick off white cotton canvas. i want to have the sofa professionally slipcovered, with two sets, one dark blue demin and one light off white canvas. i want to paint the ceilings this summer (need to buy a very tall ladder). i want floor to ceiling shelves in the garage.

at first this house felt like an albatross, but now i feel better about it. i was terrified at first i couldn't handle it, but the emergency fund helped with that fear tremendously. of course it didn't help that most of the appliances broke this past spring.

I learned that i can be in a hurricane by myself. i learned that i can hire teenagers to help with the storm shutters.

i notice that i still don't wish to rejoin my SCA reenactment group yet. I still want to be left alone. i still value my saturday "day of rest".

i notice that i am not looking for a man replacement. becoming very comfortable in being by myself.

i still cannot afford europe travel. not time yet.

how was your recovery from divorce? what "struck you" as interesting?

[HandyMom]

My recovery was quick. Emotionally speaking, anyway. I was surprised to feel more like a burden had been lifted from me rather than any sense of loss. I celebrated my divorce and paying off my first car at around the same time. I started taking better care of myself and bought myself some new clothes. I don't know how long you were married but mine didn't last 4 years and so I wasn't as invested in my former mate as someone who may have been married much longer.
I left behind the home and furniture and everything but my clothing and dog. Fresh start. I had a stash of money in the bank, too.

Sounds as though you have a healthy outlook on matters ladykemma2.

[ladykemma2]

i was pondering today on "one year post divorce" status today. it's interesting, this new year seems to be the "year after the year of divorce" aka the year of "mopping up" and goal setting.

i have been clearing clutter that happened when i simply couldn't deal.

i have been rearranging furniture and paintings. i have been rehabilitating the neglected flower beds. a lot of them have been allowed to go back to sod - easier to care for.

i want a chest of drawers, like a credenza, shaker style painted black with bun feet (looking for second hand). i want a howard miller grandfather clock (fat chance!). i want to get rid of the navy blue curtains and replace them with thick off white cotton canvas. i want to have the sofa professionally slipcovered, with two sets, one dark blue demin and one light off white canvas. i want to paint the ceilings this summer (need to buy a very tall ladder). i want floor to ceiling shelves in the garage.

at first this house felt like an albatross, but now i feel better about it. i was terrified at first i couldn't handle it, but the emergency fund helped with that fear tremendously. of course it didn't help that most of the appliances broke this past spring.

I learned that i can be in a hurricane by myself. i learned that i can hire teenagers to help with the storm shutters.

i notice that i still don't wish to rejoin my SCA reenactment group yet. I still want to be left alone. i still value my saturday "day of rest".

i notice that i am not looking for a man replacement. becoming very comfortable in being by myself.

i still cannot afford europe travel. not time yet.

how was your recovery from divorce? what "struck you" as interesting?

update: i acquired a chest of drawers from a friend this weekend. she wanted them gone. funny how when i ask god for what i want it shows up.... now about that grandfather clock...ha ha.

i spent the weekend with sca folks. aparently a lot of them are not playing now, due to time or money constraints, just like me.

i have still been rearranging the furniture. i like the new look.

[lgw]

The most difficult thing I had to deal with post-divorce was learning to live alone. I'd gone from my folks house to a college dorm and roommates to living with future husband. I was pretty scared at first but then I just absolutely loved it! I had MY house, with MY stuff, and I could do what I wanted WHENEVER I wanted. When I met my current DH, one my top fears was feeling like I'd have to give up that independence and freedom I'd found. Turns out, I met the right guy the second time because I didn't have to.

[Izzy0906]

I guess mine was pretty easy. I had a 6 month old daughter to take care of and had always been the working parent. Ok, I admit, my friends and I actually threw a divorce party that's how horrible my ex was but there were still lonely times and too many reminders in the house of the "bad" times. So my parents and brother and I gutted the house and started over. The loneliness went away when my brother moved in to help with my daughter

[nvmommyx6]

I too, had a divorce party!!! The sad fact of the matter was, his folks came to it ROFLMAO
However, he was an abuser and a loser! My kids were 5, 2 and 10 months when I became single. I was working 2 jobs and had wonderful friends who babysat for me (since the loser would not even watch his kids!) I redid a lot of things in the house, traded some furnature and got rid of his things and got over things pretty damned fast!
It was awesome having my own home and having ME time, and time with my kids, actually "good" time with my kids! My oldest only remembers him screaming at me all of the time (thank god thats all she remembers) And With new hubby, even as busy as we are with 6 kids, We are happy, and I cannot complain one bit!

[mmy2grls]

After my divorce I felt renewed like I could breath. I was scared doing things on my own but I felt pride when I did do things.

[pkellyc]

I married right out of high school. I remember my mother asking me how I could be so happy while I went through my divorce. The fact was that I felt free for the first time in my life. Taking control after having very little for so long was invigorating.