It feels like the end of the world

**leighcat** · 05-23-2010, 06:27 PM

I broke up with my bf of 4 1/2 yrs last night. I know it was for the best but it hurts so bad.
I just want to run away or sleep forever.

**Nada.Leona** · 05-23-2010, 06:36 PM

It is rough, especially after such a long time. I'm praying for you and sending you virtual hugs and compassion. Take some time to grieve your relationship. Good luck and much positive thoughts.

**AmyBoz** · 05-23-2010, 08:24 PM

Aw, I'm so sorry to hear that.

We're here for you.

**baxjul** · 05-23-2010, 09:59 PM

Hugs, and we are here if you need us!

**Debbie-cat** · 05-23-2010, 10:17 PM

I am so sorry! Sending hugs and remember we are here for you.

**mauimagic** · 05-23-2010, 10:20 PM

Hugs and aloha across the ocean straight to your heart. Your pain is obvious in your words - I'm sorry that It came to this. Please stay in touch with us.

**Liane** · 05-23-2010, 10:27 PM

You must be so upset. I wish I could find the words to take away your pain. Remember you are a wonderful person and lots of people care for you and wish you the best. I'm sure that you made the right decision and that you will find something, no matter big or small that will make you smile. Know that you are loved and that you will find love again when you are ready. Hugs and tissues from Jersey.

**Palooka** · 05-23-2010, 11:39 PM

Aw, I'm sure that was very hard. *hugs*

**IntlMom** · 05-24-2010, 01:48 AM

I've BTDT (been there, done that) it's hard - REALLY hard! I was engaged and we were together 4.5 years....... you WILL get over it, but yes, you will feel the void for a long LONG time. Even now, 20 years later, I still think and pray for him. I no long miss him, but let's face it, your ex boyfriend will "show up" in the stories you tell about that time period for the rest of your life.

You want to hear about my High school graduation? college life? 21st b-day? Ok, but HE is going to be in the stories and the pictures - it's just the way it is!

Really honey, you WILL get over it...... time is a marvelous healer. In the meantime, is there something you've wanted to do? someplace you want to go? that's what I did, and although it took me awhile, I found myself again, apart from him. You will too. ((hugs))

**frugalfranny** · 05-24-2010, 01:56 AM

So sorry to hear that.

It has got to be hard after that long but if you feel it was for the best then allow your heart to mend.

Sending many hugs your way.

**mamamia** · 05-24-2010, 03:11 AM

Originally Posted by IntlMom

I've BTDT (been there, done that) it's hard - REALLY hard! I was engaged and we were together 4.5 years....... you WILL get over it, but yes, you will feel the void for a long LONG time. Even now, 20 years later, I still think and pray for him. I no long miss him, but let's face it, your ex boyfriend will "show up" in the stories you tell about that time period for the rest of your life.

You want to hear about my High school graduation? college life? 21st b-day? Ok, but HE is going to be in the stories and the pictures - it's just the way it is!

Really honey, you WILL get over it...... time is a marvelous healer. In the meantime, is there something you've wanted to do? someplace you want to go? that's what I did, and although it took me awhile, I found myself again, apart from him. You will too. ((hugs))

IntlMom said it best! And as hard as it may seem to believe right now, she telling the truth when she says you WILL get over it!

For now allow yourself the time to cry it out. It's all part of getting your life back, and nothing that anyone says or does right now will exactly cheer you up anyway. But just know that there's people out there to help you when you're ready. I'm sure your family will be there in a minute if they had to. And than of course there's always us at the FV. And sometimes, for some people, writing can be better than talking. My oldest daughter is like that.

Hang in there sweetie!

Hugs,

Theresa

**Lora88** · 05-24-2010, 06:17 AM

Im sorry for your pain broken hearts really suck no other way to put it but sometimes who we are with will be worse in the long haul. take some time to be extra kind to yourself. and dont crawl into bed and hide. Keep going and face the world and each day it will get easier time is the greatest healer.

**Michelle** · 05-24-2010, 07:08 AM

I'm sorry leighcat

**leighcat** · 05-24-2010, 08:39 AM

I tried to get him to go to counseling with me and he refused. He wouldn't communicate without fighting with me about everything.
We never lived together. He lived at his mom's. There were a lot of red flags but I love him and it just hurts that he was willing to fight me but not fight FOR me, for us. I keep seeing previews for movies we were going to watch together and it hurts worse. He won't even just be friends with me. I think that is the worse part. I was hoping we could still hang out occasionally just as friends. I know in reality it wouldn't work because we still love eachother. We had so much in common though. I just don't understand why he just let me dump him and didn't try to make it work. He said he wanted to be with me but then refuses to listen to me. I feel so confused. He said if I start seeing someone else and things don't work out don't think he will take me back if I have been with another man. So he doesn't want to work on our problems but he doesn't want me with someone else? The fact that the relationship didn't work is mostly his fault. He refuses to admit when he is wrong and tries to turn it around at me. He loves conflict and I can't live like that anymore. Part of me is relieved but it still hurts because I wanted it to work so bad.

**andrew's mom** · 05-24-2010, 10:43 AM

Some relationships are not meant to last and that is OK. You have learned a lot from this one, especially what you want from the one you wish to spend your life with. I think it takes great courage to recognize that and to move beyond relationships that are not nourishing.
God gives us what we need but not always what we want. Many hugs to you. It will be painful for a while but once things calm down, you will be able to find opportunities in relationships that you never thought possible.
Learn from your pain and keep your head up. You are loved here. Come back as often as you need to for support.
Much love, Mea.