marriage might be done

**AnW819** · 09-11-2010, 11:43 PM

SS you are going through this

It does sound to me though, that you are the one who does not want this marriage anymore?

**mauimagic** · 09-12-2010, 12:30 AM

Please take care of yourself no matter what road you choose.

**patra** · 09-12-2010, 02:07 AM

he told me before i went to the hospital that he didnt think it would work out...i agonized over it for a month than realized i shouldn't be pining for someone who claims he will never be in love with me again.I told him tonite i was done. he is sleeping out, id care if he does that for weeks til we clear up our financial woes,I will not evict him or keep him from seeing the children,I hope we can renew the friendship of thirty some odd years we had together.I think we will be better just friends.I dont even want to think of a man again for a loooong time.

patty

**Palooka** · 09-12-2010, 02:27 AM

You seem like a very strong person for all that you have been through, but sometimes heartaches makes us stronger.

I hope all goes smoothly for you and stay strong.

**AnW819** · 09-12-2010, 03:29 AM

You said in your last post he says he will never love you again but here you said he says he will always love you. Has he been saying both to you?

I feel so sad for you and so badly want you to try to work out your marriage, but only you know whats best for you. I am much younger, and I am sure more immature than you, but I also suffer from mental illness and have been in the hospital for a few weeks and its really rough on a marriage. I was ready to throw in the towel a few months back, and very serious about it, and I am happy I didn't. GL to you, and take care of yourself.

Originally Posted by patra

he tried counseling years ago, left a bad taste in his mouth so he has no interest....emotionally i think he's been gone a few years because he hasn't been supportive since i must say my daughter was born...maybe we will be better as friends.I don't think we can salvage this.I had thought a few days ago we could, but it seems like we have become ships passing in the night, he is always working, never home and goes out four nights a week twice to work and twice for recreation i suppose.I try to get out with my girlfriends once in awhile and am starting back at kung fu next week.I am looking forward to it...I am thinking i am done with marriage need time to get past this and move on.he doesn't put our marriage before his job even tho he claims he loves me and always will, after the things i said to him in our last confrontation , I really think it is over.

thanks all for your support-

patty

**patra** · 09-12-2010, 04:59 AM

he is a great father exceptional worker,and loyal friend....but he is not going to remain my husband I pressed the decision because he didn't know yet what he wanted but told me he couldn't fall in love with me again tho he loves me and will always.I am no longer in love with him, but harbor no resentment or anger anymore,just a little sad that we are ending our journey together.we were together 17 years.and had been children together, but for a long time we have not been happy together. w both realize that it is not the task of us to make each other happy, but it is a byproduct of a good life, and we no longer have a good life together.I still will study my bible and work on being a peaceful soul rather than the firecracker i have been.I am giving my daughter all the jewelry he has bought for me over the years i just don't want anything anymore anymore.thank you for letting me vent,

patty