marriage might be done

**patra** · 09-10-2010, 05:33 PM

husband says he doesn't know what he wants anymore....i am supposed to just wait for him to decide apparently....I may be more done than him.His heart knows but he cant wrap his mind around it.I wanted to work it out now i don't know anymore,he is never home works two jobs and goes out three nights a week.he thinks hes the good guy by "supporting us" but hasn't been there emotionally for me for a long time.I am done crying over this and have maybe a little residual resentment, but have been having peaceful and happy days with my kids.

patty

**IntlMom** · 09-10-2010, 05:39 PM

sorry Patty, I hope this has a "happy ending".... however that ends up looking like for you.

**Russ** · 09-10-2010, 07:16 PM

Sorry to hear Patty. Has counseling been considered?

**patra** · 09-10-2010, 07:35 PM

I consider it but he refuses.I go to individual counseling.I have a mental illness, i have gone into fits of anger and say terrible things but neither of us is innocent in this.I am feeling more at peace these days, am getting past anger and resentment to accepting what may come.

**gapeach** · 09-10-2010, 07:52 PM

Patty, I believe everything works out for the best in the end. Sending you hugs across the miles.

**frugalwarrior2** · 09-10-2010, 09:37 PM

You guys have been thru alot. Dealing w/ mental illness is hard on everyone. If he won't go to counceling, would he got to a support group for parteners of people w/ mental illness. Just a suggestion but maybe try going thru a hospital.
In any case I am so sorry for your struggle.

**Palooka** · 09-10-2010, 09:43 PM

Sorry to hear and I wish you the best.

**mamamia** · 09-11-2010, 05:10 AM

Patty, You poor girl! I wish he'd go with you to the counseling. It must be so rough on you, and even more so with your illness, isn't it? But at least it sounds like your kids bring you some much needed inner peace. I was glad to read that.

I hope somehow, someway, you guys will find your way thru all this. No doubt neither one of you wished for an unhappy marriage, but with him refusing to join you in the counselling, it kinda throws all the burden on you, and then of course you feel even more resentment. I hope he figures that out. Then maybe you guys can get that help you need to save your marriage.

Hang in there sweetie!

Theresa

**patra** · 09-11-2010, 06:34 AM

he tried counseling years ago, left a bad taste in his mouth so he has no interest....emotionally i think he's been gone a few years because he hasn't been supportive since i must say my daughter was born...maybe we will be better as friends.I don't think we can salvage this.I had thought a few days ago we could, but it seems like we have become ships passing in the night, he is always working, never home and goes out four nights a week twice to work and twice for recreation i suppose.I try to get out with my girlfriends once in awhile and am starting back at kung fu next week.I am looking forward to it...I am thinking i am done with marriage need time to get past this and move on.he doesn't put our marriage before his job even tho he claims he loves me and always will, after the things i said to him in our last confrontation , I really think it is over.

thanks all for your support-

patty

**homemaker66** · 09-11-2010, 07:21 AM

The only thing I can tell you and I found it to very true and it saved my marriage is trust into the Lord. Find a church family they are great support. Read and study the good book called the bible. Pray to God and he will answer all prayers in his time. When my marriage was out the door I wanted to save it in the worse way. So I studied how I can change my actions, tongue, and feelings and slowly I began to change. Then my husband could see a change then he started to change. My husband slowly wanted to learn more about the Lord and then he came to the Lord. I watched Joyce Meyer alot she is a great teacher on how you suppose to act as a wife. Revive your heart (you can google that) was a good program for me to work with. I don't know if you are willing to give this a try before you make that last step. I will keep you into my prayers. I hope this helped.

**Sassyclass** · 09-11-2010, 03:24 PM

Sending hugs and prayers.

Cat

**frugalfranny** · 09-11-2010, 03:25 PM

Sorry to hear this patra.

But, life is too short.........you gotta do whatever will make you happy. Good luck in whatever choice you make!

**patra** · 09-11-2010, 05:14 PM

homemaker 66-

that is absolutely what i want...i have begun to study the bible again, give time for prayer,and gone back to church.I hope it is not too late...

patty

**homemaker66** · 09-11-2010, 05:54 PM

1 Peter: 3
Really helped me to understand things. I truely hope and pray that you can change things before it is to late. I know that life is to short to be unhappy but I do know what God can do for everyone.