Overwhelmed is a good description

[nodmicks]

We are still waiting to get my brothers remains back on American soil. It looks like from his date of passing until the funeral will be a tad over 3 weeks IF all goes perfect. This is hard enough with out all the uncertainty and waiting. We will hopefully be flying out one day next week if all goes as well as planned for a brief memorial there and to bring his remains back home for hopefully a Sat. funeral.

We are having such a hard time planning anything because we can not set a date due to working with a foreign government. We have planned everything we can without a 100% date. Not easy!!!!!!!!

This is a horrible, heartbreaking situation for everyone. I hate to say this but the financial impact on my household is also taking a good hit. I have had international cell phone calls, hours and hours and hours on the cell phone ( conference calls) because I have not been able to be home. I know I will be way over on usage! I have put so many miles on the car and so much gas it is crazy because I have had something to do everyday at least 30 miles away as I am so rural. Since there is more than 1 service we needed more than 1 set of suitable clothes per person. With kids growing constantly that meant shoes, plus shirt, new suits etc.

By the time this is done I will have missed 2 weeks of work , Dh a tad under a week due to travel for the 1st memorial. Since today is the 1st day I have gotten to be home more than to sleep in 10 days there has been lots of picking up pizza and fast food as a result. When I have been home there has been constant company hence picking up more food before they show up.

I am amazed at the stress and all the $ this has cost us. I was 10 days behind on doing my financial stuff. I usually do everything Fri night which is when I found out about the crash. Needless to say I just got to the books this morning a week and a half later. Because of all the extra spending I was actually short over $300 for bills which I will transfer from another account. It will get worse too with our paychecks that will be short , the huge cell bill coming and the $ we will spend on the first memorial travel costs, flowers etc. My brothers company is paying for the plane tickets and hotel but we still have eating, boarding pets, parking etc.

I feel so selfish even complaining about the $ part of this. However as much as I miss and am heartbroken over my brother passing we still need to keep living and $ is a part of it.

I really want a date nailed down for flying out, coming home, having the funeral etc. We need closure of some sort for the whole family. We need the news and nosy folks to leave us alone. It is ridiculous I have to make sure the funeral location can be secured from the local media. The first memorial thing will be on a very private place which is good.

I guess I am just venting. I'm so stressed I'm like a pressure cooker! I am also so angry with my supposed best friend I will likely never speak to her again. People have been surprised how well I am doing. Asking how I feel about things. Saying I really should accept the grief counciling. UMMMMM how the heck do I know how I feel? How on earth can I even have a moment to feel when I have been so busy, puttng out fires and being the rock and the one consoling and caring for everyone else? I feel horrible but I have to keep going because there is just not choice until things are dealt with. Thanks for letting me vent

[frugalfriend]

I am so sorry you are dealing with so much! In time it will be easier, but right now it is very hard, but you will get through this. Hang in there, get support from your family and us. Vent here all you want, we are here to listen. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, my friend.

[McD]

Hugs to you friend. Things will settle down eventually.

Regarding the cell: Call your provider and ask if you can purchase extra minutes for the month. Usually they are pretty good regarding that.

[Darlene]

I'm sorry for all your heartache. Don't feel bad about the feelings you are having, there is no right way, sometimes you've just got to let it all be what it is and just get through. Don't forget to allow yourself to ask for a hug or whatever you need, you can't do it all.
Do something nice for yourself even something small like a walk alone or bubble bath can mean bunches.
I agree with Nichole about the cell co. .Call and explain what's going on & you may be surprised how willing they are to help. Doesn't hurt to ask.

[mauimagic]

My heart goes out to you with all the extra stress that you are dealing with during this very personal time for you. Vent all you want - you are safe here - we listen, support- but no judgements are made at all.

Please take care of yourself as it seems as if all the energy is going out - please take whatever time you can to rest and recharge.

[NikoSan999]

Hugs! Too much. You are to totally overwhelmed. $itch all you want. We're here

[piney]

I am so sorry for what you are going though sending Hugs your way.

[pinecone]

More long distant hugs. It is hard living on pins and needles wondering when.

piney

[nodmicks]

Thanks everyone. It was nice just to get it out! It is kind of hard to be strong right now. I will give Verizon a call in the morning. I'm glad to go back to work for the next two days because I will not answer my cell unless I get a break. I'll be happy to just concentrate on my clients for a few hours instead of problems, logistics and grief. Thanks again!

[fernykins]

My heart goes out to you. I know how it feels to be the strong one. To have to be the one to handle everything and not being able to let go. Its been 6 months since my son passed and I still have not let go and grieved. I can't let go. If you get a chance and a few minutes to yourdelf. let go cry, scream. Don't hold it in. I know I have been a lone a few times(nobody lets me) driving down the road when I let the tears go. I'm still handling things...... I hope and pray things will lighten up for you.
Fern

[Palooka]

That is a lot to handle. Sorry you have to go through all of this. *hug*

[frugalfranny]

Sorry for all the stress. Be sure to take a deep breath and take care of yourself too, during all this.

Feel free to vent anytime!

[nodmicks]

Fernykins I wish I could give you a big hug!!!!

[cab54]

I'm so sorry things are so chaotic and over whelming right now, Nod.

I have had a small taste of what you are talking about, this past week and a half, and it is so unnerving! What with my dad, then having the already ongoing health issues (and anxiety issues) my ds was dealing with down in FL---and all the calls late at night and people calling early in the morning---the $$ going out for who knows what?---Take out, calls, funeral, flowers, yada, yada, yada. And I was soooo worried about my son, he sounded like he was coming unglued on the phone (a mother knows)---add it all up and --whew!

I can't imagine the waiting for his remains and what you and your family must be going through. Especially since your brother was likely in the prime of his life and it is all so sudden and shocking....

Take a breath. Do something soothing and calming for YOU. I'll be praying for you.

[Libby]

Sorry to hear that you're going through this. Have you had a chance to call Verizon yet? What did they say?