In a not so great place lately...LONG

**mom23boyz** · 10-06-2010, 11:37 AM

Hi
I feel like I have gone to a place in my life...in myself thats not so great! I have been fighting with anxiety and depression well over 2 years now. I was on Paxil CR for a while but due to my Seizure meds(Lamactil) I had to stop taking them...made the depression worse and my short term memory was GONE. I tried Vitamin B complex and it helps but somedays...NOTHING helps. I have reached a point where not much makes me happy. My kids are the ONLY thing that keeps me going day after day. My husband is pretty supportive most of the time. I am finding myself so irritated by him lately. I am starting to wonder if its our relationship I am unhappy with or just unhappy in general. When things are good between us I can't imagine life without him but if we have even the smallest of fights or arguments I just think divorce is the answer. I find we fight about the kids ALOT. I find myself constantly defending them...no matter what. If DH gets frustrated with them over something I get so angry with him...I side with the kids and if faced with the situation of being married or having to seperate for the kids...I would leave for my kids. Hes not abusive or anything just not as patient as I am with them I guess.
I am usually the first to try to "patch" things up after a fight but lately I could careless if he speaks to me for a few days.

I just don't know where I am or where I am going anymore! I don't know what to do....I honestly think if it weren't for these kids I would have ended it ALL a long time ago!
Thanks for "listening"

I wanted to add...the anxiety I think is the hardest for me to deal with. Also when I went off the Paxil the Dr said he didn't know what else to give me so go see a psychiatrist...my insurance makes that VERY difficult so I didn't(this was 2 yrs ago)

**jas** · 10-06-2010, 11:43 AM

I really don't have any words for you other than I am sorry that at this moment you are feeling so down. Maybe another medication would work better with what you are already taking. I am no doctor and am only suggesting.

Many hugs to you. Please don't ever think the answer is to end this life. There has got to be help somewhere for you.

**HappyMama** · 10-06-2010, 11:53 AM

I am so sorry you having been going through so much, it sometimes always seems darkest before the dawn. Try to take one day at a time, find something of joy to look forward to each day ( no matter how small it is) and enjoy that moment. Realize how important you are to your family and how much they love you.Is there some craft, hobby or learning experience you have wanted to try? Can you find information about that particular topic online or at the library that can get you started on learning or enjoying something new?

Most importantly find someone you can reach out to in your family, community, church, or life that you can call and talk to when you are down. Someone that can help you keep your chin up, smile and make you realize tomorrow is another day. A day of beginnings.

I know you have many on here that care about you pm them if needed, and feel free to pm me if you need a chance to laugh , vent or just chat.

Love and Blessings to you.

**Russ** · 10-06-2010, 11:54 AM

Originally Posted by jas

Maybe another medication would work better with what you are already taking. I am no doctor and am only suggesting.

Totally agree with this. Talk to your doctor!

Also, get busy. I know that with depression, you don't feel like doing anything but activity will help you, even if it is just for a short walk.

**Palooka** · 10-06-2010, 11:57 AM

Sorry you are going through this and yes, please go see your doctor.

**HappyMama** · 10-06-2010, 12:01 PM

Originally Posted by Russ

Totally agree with this. Talk to your doctor!

Also, get busy. I know that with depression, you don't feel like doing anything but activity will help you, even if it is just for a short walk.

Yes, good suggestions. You really do need to get back into the Dr. to see if a new Medication can help . Blessings to you hon!

**daylily** · 10-06-2010, 01:10 PM

I have a little suggestion, having suffered from depression and several family members that have also. I know the pain and hopelessness of depression.

Your diet can be a major issue. Sometimes it's hard to believe such simple things can make such a difference but just getting enough omega-3s or tryptophan can be life changing.

I have a book called "Depression: The Way Out" by Dr Neil Nedley. It's outrageously expensive on Amazon but cheaper from Dr Nedley's publisher. His website is DrNedley.com.

I am not affiliated at all but I know that his program really does work, for me and other family members.

Please check this out.

Blessings,
Daylily

**daylily** · 10-06-2010, 01:13 PM

If you just search for Neil Nedley, you can get a lot of info about his program and probably find an inexpensive source for his book. I paid $35.00 for mine and it is SO worth it.

Daylily

**Judi Dial** · 10-06-2010, 01:18 PM

I just looked, online, used, the cheapest copy I could find was $32...however, B & N had this:

Depression, Neil Nedley, Book - Barnes & Noble

((hugs))
Judi

**mamamia** · 10-06-2010, 02:31 PM

Oh you poor girl! I feel so bad for what you're going thru right now. And what I wanted to add here, is that your reasoning right now is coming from a time in your life where you're not mentally "balanced". Depression does NOT allow us to see things as clearly as we would otherwise. So please don't jump to the conclusion that your marriage is "on the rocks", because one of the 1st signals of depression is not finding the same pleasure in things we always did before.

You've already gotten some great advice, with the best seeing a doctor. If the one you have can't help, by all means seek a psychiatrist to help with the latest medical information for depression. I go to one, and I'm not intersted in the counseling, but do take the medical treatment.

But the other thing you might want to consider, is going the "natural route". If you have a health food/herb shop in your area, you might want to speak to the owner or worker there. Many of them are trained herbalists, and can help you even more than an MD. I'm seriously considering this myself, as I've spoken to many who have gotten help this way. Anyway, just wanted to mention this option for you! Everything in life seems so much harder when we're depressed and anxious.

Also, remember excercise produces endorphins, which naturally counteract anxiety too. My anxiety was so bad, it used to wake me from a deep sleep. My hubby is a Tai Chi instructor, and it helped me SO much!

I'm sorry this is so long. I'm not very good at "condensing" what I want to say. It's just I know the feelings that you're having can really do a "number" on so much of our lives.

Hoping so much that you find what you need!

Theresa

PS- Maybe you can find the book that JudiDial mentioned in your library.

**frugalwarrior2** · 10-06-2010, 02:40 PM

How old are ya?? I have depression/anxiety but it really grew w/ perimenopause. Which my DR. ignored because I was 35ish? Do improve your diet. Avoid mood swing foods like caffiene and sugar,lose weight if you can. And take a multivitamin and a Super B complex.
You prob. won't like me but it sounds as if you overreact like I can. Please do work w/ a DR. They know some much more now. Please pick an excercise music video and elevate that seratonin. I will expect the same advice from you to me this winter (nov-March) please. Deal??

**mom23boyz** · 10-06-2010, 03:03 PM

I am 35...YOU GOT Frugalwarrior!!!
I would much rather go the natural route and will continue to look at that aspect! I will check out Dr Nedley!
Thanks all!

**starsapphire** · 10-06-2010, 03:34 PM

I second the omega 3's and reducing/eliminating caffeine. I've done both and feel alot better. It took a couple/few months to get the effect from the omega 3's.

**frugalwarrior2** · 10-06-2010, 04:56 PM

Make him do the blood test. It's your $$. Some people like soy or Sam-E but do be careful mixing meds and herbs. Let us know how it goes. If you started your cycle early,had women in your family w/ imbalances,Have twins(double ovulation) in your family,know of a close relative how went into meno. early, make sure you tell him. Mother henning over.

**craftypam** · 10-06-2010, 09:25 PM

Originally Posted by mom23boyz

I am 35...YOU GOT Frugalwarrior!!!
I would much rather go the natural route and will continue to look at that aspect! I will check out Dr Nedley!
Thanks all!

Just a frugal suggestion: Try your public library for this book and if they don't have it they may be able to get it for you from another library.