Heartbreaking funeral today

**Squidge** · 12-28-2010, 02:29 PM

The mother of one of my dearest friends passed away at 3am on Christmas Day and the funeral was today.

My friend is an only child and was incredibly close her mum; she looked so entirely broken at the service. It is so sad that each Christmas from now on will also mark the anniversary of her mother's death.

I'm sharing this with you because the tragedy made me realise how often in 2010 I have taken my friends and loved ones for granted. I hope this coming year to fare much better.

I can't wait to see my friend smile and laugh again.

**ml2620** · 12-28-2010, 02:48 PM

Squidge. I am so sorry to hear of your friends loss. I am sure it is devastating.

My grandfather died of cancer at 2:30 in the afternoon on December 25th, 1978. It was devastating to the entire family. We were all at a family gathering when my uncle answered the phone with the sad news (grandfather had been ill with cancer for some time).

Two years later we were at the same family party when the phone rang and my uncle answered it, with the happy news that my mother had safely delivered, not one, but two healthy baby girls. An absolute miracle that brought great joy to my family.

So each year my family can greet the holidays with some sadness, but also quite a bit of joy.

I wish the same - a Christmas miracle for your friend to bring back the joy.

**mauimagic** · 12-28-2010, 02:54 PM

The cycle of life touches us more poignantly at holiday times than at any other. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend's dear mother. Sending prayers, hugs and aloha to all.

**Imarachne** · 12-28-2010, 02:58 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss--no time of year is exempt is it ?

**rebecca** · 12-28-2010, 03:19 PM

So sorry to hear about your friend's mother's death. My thoughts and prayers are with your friend.

**mamachop** · 12-28-2010, 06:07 PM

So sorry to hear about your friend's loss!

**HappyMama** · 12-28-2010, 07:19 PM

Squidge, I am so sorry to hear of your friends loss. Sending you blessings and hugs.

**Darlene** · 12-28-2010, 07:24 PM

I so hope your friend, as time lessons the pain, decides to make December a chance to celebrate her Moms life. She's left her with wonderful memories that will be her's to keep and share with others for a lifetime and then some.
Be sad for the loss but celebrate the life whenever & however you can. Laughter and tears both can be a wonderful tribute to someone so loved. Big big hug.

**Sassyclass** · 12-28-2010, 09:15 PM

I'm sorry for your friend's loss. She will be in my prayers.

Cat

**Squidge** · 12-30-2010, 09:34 AM

Thanks everybody for your kind thoughts and well wishes to my friend. I, too, hope that Christmas will be joyful again for her in time, but now she just needs space for the grieving process

**cab54** · 01-08-2011, 12:10 PM

Losing people that are close to you really does make you sit up and take notice of our short time on earth, and how we should relish every second of our time with loved ones, doesn't it?

About 10 years ago, my son's best friend (they were 17) died in a car accident. My son and our whole family were much-grieved, as he spent quite a bit of time at our house, and we felt close to him.

I called his Mom close to the time each year that he died, for quite a few years, to see how she was holding up. She told me after about 5 times that I was the only one out of our group of 'moms' that called to say she remembered, and it let her know her son was missed by others, too. It made it feel not so sad for her, she said, to know he was loved and cherished by others. That he made a mark on our hearts.

Try, if you can, to call her occasionally and maybe at Christmas, and let her know that she is not so alone in her grief, that you are there for her, and remember her daughter lovingly, also.

**Squidge** · 01-08-2011, 07:01 PM

Absolutely, cab, it definitely reminds you of your mortality and of what is actually important in life; your family, your friends, being happy and positive. I couldn't help but think of the silly, little issues I can get worked up about that, in the grand scheme of things, are so irrelevant.

That's such a sad story, especially considering how young that boy was when he died - he had so much still to experience in life

.

At my friend's mum's funeral, a priest - who knew the woman well - spoke about how kind and fun she was, how active she had become in their small community, how she encouraged people of different faiths to get together (which is especially challenging in Northern Ireland) to work towards charity goals, even though she wasn't particularly religious herself, and I felt so privileged to be at the funeral.

I think you are right that it would be a great comfort to my friend to know that her mother is missed by others, too and thought of so fondly. I hope that next Christmas, and the years after that, it will be easier for her to talk about it with me.

**frugalfoster** · 01-08-2011, 09:40 PM

My mother died from cancer 10 years ago....she was my best friend....When she died I went to the funeral home and did her hair as well as spoke at her funeral.... The funeral director was in awe of how I handled it....I think I said it best when I spoke at her funeral..."Please...don't cry for me.... my relationship with my mother read like a very wonderful book....with lots of truly great chapters...some people never get to read a book like that.... and when you knew it was going to end...you truly had to embrace the fact that you even held it in the first place...."

Life is short....make of it what you can....and in the end....you have no regrets.......

**frugal-fannie** · 01-09-2011, 10:42 AM

Sorry, to hear about your friends Mother. Will pray for her. We just lost my FIL this last month and even though he was almost 97.it has really made all of us realize what is important and we will not be here forever. It is especially hard when you loose both parents and you are now the elder in the family.