I need support please...

**LynnLC** · 01-15-2011, 10:25 PM

I need to get something out as I have no one to talk to...I have a stalker. This is someone I used to know who didn't like my rejection. Six months of endless texts, insults and horrible things. Asking former friends about me etc. I have had zero contact with this person. Not answering calls or responding to anything except today when I finally got so depressed and helpless. I told him I would go to the police immediately if I receive any further contact at all. So far i have had a 3 hour break. I am exhausted and his insults are so terrible it's heartbreaking. I don't deserve this,I am a good person. Thank you for listening.

**porembam** · 01-15-2011, 10:30 PM

This sounds very serious - have you talked to the police?

**Labontet** · 01-15-2011, 10:32 PM

Oh please be careful. This is nothing to take lightly. I would suggest to go to the police also.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

**krbshappy71** · 01-15-2011, 10:32 PM

UGH, stalkers are a pain. Rather than threaten to go to the police, just do it. Also, change your number if you can because one of their favorite tactics IS to wear you down. THAT is the relentlessness of it, the tiny hope that you will give in, that you will "come around". Stalkers can either shift gears and find someone else or they can escalate to very dangerous behavior. This has gone on too long, report him.

Hugs. Been there, done that. Your safety comes first and that of your family as well.

**frugalfriend** · 01-15-2011, 10:39 PM

Please go to the police, tell them everything, file a report and get a restraining order. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

**nodmicks** · 01-15-2011, 10:46 PM

Lynn I'm so sorry you are going through this. Please report it for your own safety.

**LynnLC** · 01-15-2011, 10:50 PM

I will go in the morning. I had spoken to an officer about it before and the concern is sometimes a restraining order can escalate the rage ( this person has not been to my home) and was told to ignore all contact and log all texts, call etc. but I'm at the end of my patience and sanity.

**fernykins** · 01-15-2011, 10:55 PM

Please go to the police. Better safe then sorry.
Fern

**hotprincesscm** · 01-15-2011, 10:56 PM

I would go to the police as well. And everytime he violates the restraining order immediately call the police...he will be locked up...order some pepper spray and carry it all times....have protection in your home, a baseball bat or something...just in case....You need to protect yourself! These people are crazy! I have been in your situation...it will get better...but in the mean time it's so hard! My prayers are with you!

**Rhiamon** · 01-15-2011, 10:57 PM

HUGS when you go to the police make sure you take a copy of the texts if you have them, and a log of the phone calls. I also agree that if you can change your number and get it unlisted. I will keep you in my thoughts.

**krbshappy71** · 01-15-2011, 10:59 PM

Originally Posted by LynnLC

I will go in the morning. I had spoken to an officer about it before and the concern is sometimes a restraining order can escalate the rage ( this person has not been to my home) and was told to ignore all contact and log all texts, call etc. but I'm at the end of my patience and sanity.

Are you keeping the messages?

He hasn't been to your home that you know of. If he keeps getting a reaction out of you (I know its difficult not to respond) then he will keep escalating.

Change your number. Its a start if you aren't ready to do a restraining order. Make it unlisted. A hassle once, peace for a very long time until he gets a hold of it. If you are very selective in who you give the new number to you might be able to figure out how he's getting it. Be careful what you post online, he may find out your whereabouts by things you are posting on Facebook or a blog. You want to reduce the exposure of your life to this person as much as possible. Every tiny moment he gets of you just keeps the obsession going.

**madhen** · 01-15-2011, 11:04 PM

A personal Taser goes a long way toward keeping your peace of mind.

It may be that your threat to go to the police was enough to stop him, but I agree with the others. If you have been logging his calls/texts, take those with you.

**Grayce** · 01-15-2011, 11:12 PM

I'd get a restraining order, then he can be arrested if he violates it. I'd also get an unlisted number.

**LynnLC** · 01-15-2011, 11:14 PM

Originally Posted by krbshappy71

Are you keeping the messages?

Yes, I have all of them. More than a thousand over the time.

He hasn't been to your home that you know of. If he keeps getting a reaction out of you (I know its difficult not to respond) then he will keep escalating.

Agreed. He has had no response at all from me until today when I said I'm going to police.

Change your number. Its a start if you aren't ready to do a restraining order. Make it unlisted. A hassle once, peace for a very long time until he gets a hold of it. If you are very selective in who you give the new number to you might be able to figure out how he's getting it. Be careful what you post online, he may find out your whereabouts by things you are posting on Facebook or a blog. You want to reduce the exposure of your life to this person as much as possible. Every tiny moment he gets of you just keeps the obsession going.

Thankfully I don't do facebook or a blog.

Thank you all... It is so helpful to me right now.

**LynnLC** · 01-15-2011, 11:19 PM

Originally Posted by madhen

A personal Taser goes a long way toward keeping your peace of mind.

It may be that your threat to go to the police was enough to stop him, but I agree with the others. If you have been logging his calls/texts, take those with you.

Fortunately I have a license to carry and do...but obviously that would be a last resort to protect myself or family.