My husband just blindsided me with a divorce....

**kcsmom76** · 03-05-2011, 11:29 PM

Not in a million years did I see this coming.

**madhen** · 03-05-2011, 11:31 PM

Wow, I am very sorry to hear that he didn't discuss it with you beforehand.

**kcsmom76** · 03-05-2011, 11:33 PM

No, he had been acting funny for a couple of weeks and finally confronted him about it and that is when he let the cat out of the bag.

Our dd's 10th birthday is Tuesday and we are having her party tomorrow and he wanted to wait until after then.

**madhen** · 03-05-2011, 11:35 PM

I don't know what to say. I am very sorry he was so careless of your feelings. I hope, whatever happens, it works out for you and that you come out the other side of things with a happier prospect.

**Palooka** · 03-05-2011, 11:35 PM

I'm so sorry! No hints or nothing? Did he just say he wanted one or did you receive legal papers? Sorry for the questions. *hug*

Edit, just read your response.

**kcsmom76** · 03-05-2011, 11:38 PM

He had been acting funny for a few weeks, so I called him out on it and he let the cat out of the bag.

Our dd's birthday is Tuesday and we are having her party tomorrow and he planned on waiting until after.

he says it is all my fault, and it is. I just didn't listen or try hard enough. I told him over and over how sorry I was and begged for him to reconsider.

BTW, my dd has no clue, she is at my sister's house. Now I have to be all smiley tomorrow and not let on anything is going on so as not to ruin her day.

**Palooka** · 03-05-2011, 11:41 PM

I doubt it's all your fault. Do you think maybe he will change his mind, talk some more, sleep on it?

**kcsmom76** · 03-05-2011, 11:43 PM

I had hoped to change his mind. I begged and pleaded but he says he feels dead inside to me and that there is nothing I can do to change it.

**madhen** · 03-05-2011, 11:44 PM

I'm sorry, but a divorce is rarely ALL one person's fault. Don't let him convince you that you are the reason the marriage is having difficulty. The fact that he just threw that bombshell at you tonight, out of the blue and right before your daughter's bday, speaks volumes as to his faults as an active partner in a relationship.

I don't have any advice, but I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and wishing you well in making your daughter's day special.

**kcsmom76** · 03-05-2011, 11:47 PM

Does anyone know what I need to do to protect things?? He got a large settlement a few weeks ago and I want to make sure I get my half.

**madhen** · 03-05-2011, 11:56 PM

The two of you probably ought to sit down with someone who handles divorces and work out the paperwork. There will likely be child support and custody issues, as well, and it is best to get an impartial third party involved in such an emotional situation.

**Palooka** · 03-05-2011, 11:56 PM

Originally Posted by kcsmom76

Does anyone know what I need to do to protect things?? He got a large settlement a few weeks ago and I want to make sure I get my half.

Really......is it in a joint bank account? Can you touch it now?

**kcsmom76** · 03-06-2011, 12:02 AM

Originally Posted by Palooka

Really......is it in a joint bank account? Can you touch it now?

Yes, I just checked it when I posted that. Now I am worried he will try and get it all. I am going to write out all the bills for this month and then go get my half of what is left on Monday.

**Palooka** · 03-06-2011, 12:06 AM

Originally Posted by kcsmom76

Yes, I just checked it when I posted that. Now I am worried he will try and get it all. I am going to write out all the bills for this month and then go get my half of what is left on Monday.

There is always the ATM machine open 24 hours.

**Lady_V** · 03-06-2011, 12:15 AM

I agree with Palooka --- he knew the divorce was coming, HE had time to prepare and stash and get his... get thee to the bank because if he gets himself to the courthouse Monday to file separation, he can freeze all the accounts AFTER HE GETS HIS CUT and then you are high and dry.

If there is enough, max out the daily allowance, since it's Sat/Sun, you won't be able to get more later and you DON'T KNOW what he has already taken/wrote checks for that hasn't posted yet.

Sucks. I know...and I do feel for you. Honestly.

It is NOT all your fault. Stop begging and pleading with him. No woman should have to beg her partner to see her as a strong, beautiful equal.