Grandma and I both lost it

**oheoh's momma** · 07-20-2011, 01:47 PM

Yesterday Grandma (MIL) lied on me about something so petty I called her on it. Mean words were said on both parts and I have hit my knees and prayed for forgiveness for the mean thing I said.

I told her she needed help for her addiction, and I was tired of her calling everyone begging for pain pills that they just did not have it. I am cruel according to her and sick in the head. but I can not handle her crying for pills when there is no more. Hubby wanted to stay out of it and he walked off but it esculated I told her what I really though the problem was.

1. she is addicted to pain pills and subsituting for alcohol.

2. She missed her sisters money that she used to blow and she mismanaged the insurance money and could not take care of sister. We paid to put her ashes to rest in Tenn. And that we was glad to do it.

3. She was upset because there was no money to send her daughter in Arizona and if she stayed with her family in OK. she would 3-400 a month to send her.

4. I do now know if this is petty or not I try to keep my electric bill down and the water and gas. Well I do not dry anything but towels and she was using the dryer it is hers I wash her clothes and hang them and this has always.She does not like but I explained to her that I was going to try to keep the bill down. She lives every light in the house on and the tvs. so I don't know if this is petty. Needless to say she is packing her stuff in a dramatic fashion and is going to drive herself to OK. Oh by the way nobody wants her.

5.she gets lost going to Paintsville, 30 mins from the house. how is she going to make it to OK. lord help me Hubby said he is not taking her because he cannot take time off of work. She told me I should work to help him and I am not well have not been for years.

I wish now that I had not encouraged hubby to ahve a relationship with her it has hurt him so.

**Greebo** · 07-20-2011, 02:02 PM

Walls of text are hard to read. Please insert line breaks.

**oheoh's momma** · 07-20-2011, 02:28 PM

I am sorry about the walls of text can u fix it or do I have to repost

**Greebo** · 07-20-2011, 02:31 PM

Click the "Edit" button beneath your post and you can work on the formatting for readability.

**mndtrp** · 07-20-2011, 04:31 PM

Amusing smiley, I've never seen it before.

**bonnotsm9** · 07-20-2011, 04:38 PM

Sorry for your trouble. Sounds like you've been really trying to help her and she just wants to stay the same. Sometimes people are like that. It's a sad situation but it's not your fault.

**PennyWise** · 07-22-2011, 08:51 AM

I applaud you for the courage to stand up to the woman.
Let her go, she's a big girl. I wouldn't allow an addict to be around my children anyway.

**Spirit Deer** · 07-22-2011, 09:50 AM

It's up to your husband to deal with his mother.

**Debbie-cat** · 07-22-2011, 10:20 AM

You did the right thing. Tough love is what she needs. Your DH should be dealing with this instead of running away. Hugs

**bumplett** · 07-22-2011, 12:34 PM

good luck.

**oheoh's momma** · 07-22-2011, 08:48 PM

Since blowing up it really cleared the air. Grandma is staying hubby told us to talk to each other.
1. she is not giving up her pills and I don't want to hear it. I am going to get a part time working 20-25 hrs a week extra money and no MIL.
2. If she aggervates me I am going to tell her and she is to to the same.
3.She is to wash her own clothes and dry them.
4. We are to spend 2 nights a week with her playing cards or watching tv. So she doesn't feel isolated and I can use the down stairs Living room.
5. We are to find her easier cleaning implements. A smaller vaccum the upstairs weighs about 5 lbs and the bigger one can come up. A sponge mop for her to use.
yelling really made us both feel better.