Feel I have no viable vent release available to me

**krbshappy71** · 09-08-2011, 02:20 PM

LOL YAY!! Lots a stress happening.

**pollypurebred39** · 09-08-2011, 02:22 PM

That makes me feel better Imagine. I know your husband is stressed as well. Sometimes we do not always behave well under stressful conditions. I'm glad he apologized and recognized his error.

**Russ** · 09-08-2011, 02:27 PM

Originally Posted by krbshappy71

My bf sends me money sometimes if I complain to him so I started rejecting the money. I told him that isn't going to fix it, I just need you to listen. He has slowly reduced how often he does that and this last time I rejected it again. That isn't what I want from him I just want him to listen.

So your hubby seems drained of listening or maybe feels helpless that he can't fix it. You need someone to listen, and they need you to listen to them.

And this is how we roll. We fix things, or at least we try. I think this is inbred in us to fix things so when you tell us a problem, we start thinking how to fix it. If we can't fix it, some of us get frustrated.

I'm not saying it's ok to do, it's just how we are. I know this, I still do it to my wife. But sometimes I get it right and just listen and don't offer any advice, but just say "I understand".

**BlissMommy** · 09-08-2011, 02:29 PM

Hugs, Sweetie. It's not unusual to feel the way you do. I stress about finances right now too, but I can't tell anyone about it. Some of the problems are caused by hubby's job, so I really can't talk to him about it, he gets upset and feels like I'm attacking him. Hugs to you, Sweetie!

**craftypam** · 09-08-2011, 02:57 PM

krbshappy;
Do you know one of the things I found out about men from being married 36 years. If you tell them your problems; they want to FIX them. Women listen; men want to fix it. That's why you keep getting money from db.
I like that you have made it clear between sil and you about the money. I would want to listen and help; but wouldn't want to feel pressured to loan money

moasmom;
I don't know the situation; but it might appear friends have more money. They could be in debt up to their eyeballs. LOL. Just a thought that just because you are in debt and struggling doesn't mean they aren't too.

Russ;
I'm now going back and reading posts and I put the same thing you did about guys and the fixing things. LOL

**mamachop** · 09-08-2011, 06:09 PM

Hang in there imagine! We're all pulling for you and praying that things will get better for you soon.

I had a day like yours just today, it seemed like everything that could go wrong did. I've had similar feelings lately, we all do from time to time.

Try to find something to relax you and take your mind off of things. Be it something as small as a cup of tea or coffee, a relaxing shower or bath, a book you've been wanting to read, a walk, a craft or hobby you could do, something just for you.

Take care and let us know how you're doing!

**mndtrp** · 09-08-2011, 10:26 PM

Is there no one higher up in your church that would be able to listen to you? I'm not talking about the individual patrons, or even necessarily the pastor, but someone that runs an adult group, or even the children's groups.

**frugalwarrior2** · 09-08-2011, 10:36 PM

Imagine,when my Dh had his huge accident i had no one either.
Bf acted like I would ask for money,mom said "well no one ever said it would be a bed of roses,kids- well don't need to be burdened w/ adult issues and MIL is a self centered ego maniac airhead. So I journaled. It was clearer and I could lay it all down safely and self edit later. I am tough I can do this became my montra. Looking back I did do it. One step at a time. We paid all the bills,DH is recovered,I didn't lose the house. I managed every penny carefully. When I was stumped-I prayed. And NO my church-now ex church didn't help. A lot of promises to look goood but no follow thru.
We are here for you. Our self image section group has been a life saver for me.

**craftypam** · 09-09-2011, 09:33 AM

What a great idea to journal. Great for you to find a way to help yourself!!!!

**LuvMyHubby** · 09-15-2011, 08:12 PM

Imagine......I'm sorry you feel so isolated with nobody you can vent to.......huge hug. I'm glad your hubby apologized after he calmed down. I'll say you are far more patient than I am. If I'd had that same conversation with my dh, I'm pretty sure that he would have known lunch is over unless he wanted my non existent jimmy choo's so far up his butt he'd be pulling them out of his nose. But, I'm a bit reactionist, mouthy that way..ohh and I cry when I get stressed to....everyone handles their emotions differently. Again huge, huge hug.