He's gone down a road we can't travel... (long)

**BlissMommy** · 11-08-2011, 11:49 PM

Hugs to you. I like that saying someone else in the thread stated, Let go and Let God. Blessings on you guys and you hold firm and steady.

**Debbie-cat** · 11-08-2011, 11:57 PM

Sorry to hear what happened but maybe he will grow up in jail. You did the right thing. Hugs

**Trishagirl** · 11-09-2011, 12:17 AM

I have 2 brothers like that my mom was an enabler whenever they got drunk were in jail she bailed them out. Sometimes they came home drunk and woke us up kickin the door down in the winter. She'd call the police they would pick them up then drop them off at the 4 corners & he'd be back again! They never learn unless you give them tough love. She wasn't helping them by bailing them out.

**forHISglory** · 11-09-2011, 06:08 AM

I am very sorry that you have to go thru this. We can't choose who our family is, and we can't change other people's decisions. All we can do is pray/hope the best for them, and protect our own.

Hang in there!

**Lady_V** · 11-09-2011, 08:52 AM

Well, today he goes to court. I called the jail down there, all they could tell me was what courtroom he will be in, she didn't know if it was a sentencing/placement or just logging his plea.

OldMan got off to work today fine. I was worried he would fall apart. Maybe, just maybe, he's put it to the back of his mind and forgot what today is.

The woman at the jail did tell me that they will keep him at the jail until there is an opening at one of the prisons, since he is looking at spending the rest of his life there, they will put him wherever they can, which could be anywhere in the state. She did not know if he will stay in a state penn or a federal one since his crime could fall under both... it's considered a class A felony, not that it makes much of a difference. I still don't think he's going to come out of there alive... or at all.

I pray that none of you have to go through this... having to vent, but unable to say what it IS that he did in fear that people will look at YOU differently. Wanting to SCREAM but afraid someone may hear you...

THANK YOU ALL for the thoughts and confirmations that I/we are doing the right thing!!!

**Greebo** · 11-09-2011, 08:54 AM

Originally Posted by Lady_V

I pray that none of you have to go through this... having to vent, but unable to say what it IS that he did in fear that people will look at YOU differently. Wanting to SCREAM but afraid someone may hear you...

V, anyone who treats you differently because of what someone else did is beneath your contempt anyway. Don't let the ignorant ones get to you.

**jas** · 11-09-2011, 09:27 AM

He did this crime not you or your DH. We all understand you are horrified at whatever it is he did and don't condone it for a second.

**McD** · 11-09-2011, 10:56 AM

Originally Posted by Lady_V

I pray that none of you have to go through this... having to vent, but unable to say what it IS that he did in fear that people will look at YOU differently. Wanting to SCREAM but afraid someone may hear you...

The only thing that would change my mind about you is if you were blatantly condoning his behavior. There was a case here a few years ago where a man beat his wife to death. His parents set in the courtroom and boo-ed her family during their victim impact statements. Horrendous behavior.

You have done nothing wrong. You love him because he is family, but that doesn't mean you love what he has done or will tolerate it. I applaud you. It's a hard road and hard choices to be made along it.

You are a good person. If people find out what he has done and has judged you based on it, it's their fault. That is on them, not you.

We are going through some similar things on a small scale with my older brother. I've had to tell him he is not welcome in our home due to his activities. I cannot have someone with warrants in my home without putting my husband in a very tight pickle. I won't have my kids around him unsupervised. My mom throws a fit and thinks I'm being unreasonable or 'witchy', but I know what's right for our family.

You know what is right for your family. Screw everyone else.

**Darlene** · 11-09-2011, 01:33 PM

Whatever he's done is all his doing, he's been building to this for years. Every choice he's made has been gimme gimme gimme and now it's time for him to pay up for his behavior. Chances are he'll never see what he's done wrong only what he percieves as injustices done to him. Yes it is sad, what a waste, but it is what it is and thank goodness you and your loved ones have each other and his abuse of others stops now.
Big hug.

**latierra84** · 11-09-2011, 05:49 PM

Wow. I can't believe the stress this has all caused for you and your husband. I hope that you two can now live your lives a little more for the two of you and Diva and not have the constant "I wonder when he'll call again" hanging over your heads.

Hugs to you!

**frugalfranny** · 11-10-2011, 02:10 PM

Sorry you have had to go through this.........

Hugs to you and your family and hope you take care of yourself and will heal from it soon.

**shoiji** · 11-11-2011, 01:12 PM

Truly a horrible situation to have to go through. If the information about your brother were to come out I would think the people who truly know you would think you and your husband have done more than enough. What you are doing is protecting your family. There is only so much you can do for someone. Hang in there.