Emotions are running high!

**Mom23boys** · 08-06-2005, 11:16 AM

Warning, you may not want to read this. I am using this thread to get some feelings out that I keep in. No need to respond. I am just going to release it all.

Lately I feel like there is nothing good in my life, but I know if I look hard enough I will find it. I am sure it is sitting in front of my eyes. Maybe I don't want to see it. Maybe I am trying to hard.

I feel like the world is turning and I am not going anywhere. I don't know why I feel this way. I feel overwhelmed at times when I shouldn't. I hate the life I live. I don't know why. I just do. I get so tired of all I have to do. Sometimes I give so much that I get tired of giving.

I have a son that makes me very emotional and I don't know what more to do for him. I don't want him to fail in life, but I think sometimes that is where he is headed. I hate watching him in torment with himself as well. I walk on pins and needles while I am at work just waiting for a call about him. He is a challenge and his challenges are tearing me apart.

I sometimes wonder why I was given 3 children with some sort of disability? Why couldn't they all be healthy with no problems at all? I guess I could ask a million why's, but none of them would do any good. What's done is done and I should be thankful for what I have.

I sometimes want to just run away and forget it all, but I know that isn't solving anything. I do have issues in my past that will forever haunt me. I have forgiven, but not forgotten. It is one thing that I will never be able to do. Maybe that is where alot of my issues come from.

I don't think a counselor would help, as I have talked to one before. He just made me feel worse.

Ok, I am done rambling for now. I am sure that is a side that not alot of you have seen nor wish to see.

**Darlene** · 08-06-2005, 11:25 AM

Sending you a big Hug Michelle. You sound overwhelmed, it's ok to tell people who want your time for baseball or whatever that you have enough going on in your life right now & haven't time to help out. Try and take some more time for yourself. You've lost that weight and look great, pamper yourself.

Sounds to me too that the therapist you saw wasn't a good fit for you, try & talk to your family doc about getting another recomendation. Don't give up, your worth so much and are a wonderful wife, Mom & friend.

**Missy** · 08-06-2005, 11:35 AM

Originally posted by Darlene
Sending you a big Hug Michelle.
Sounds to me too that the therapist you saw wasn't a good fit for you, try & talk to your family doc about getting another recomendation. Don't give up, your worth so much and are a wonderful wife, Mom & friend.

I have been in therapy as long as ds1 has been alive. ANd finding the right one isn't easy, but soooo worth it. DOn't give up, a therapist shouldn't make you feel worse, that's counterproductive. He should be boiled in a pot

call around, there is one that is a perfect fit, and s/he is out there somewhere close by.

Hugs my friend,

**AmyMCGS** · 08-06-2005, 11:41 AM

Originally posted by Missy
finding the right one isn't easy, but soooo worth it. DOn't give up, a therapist shouldn't make you feel worse, that's counterproductive. He should be boiled in a pot

call around, there is one that is a perfect fit, and s/he is out there somewhere close by. 

Michelle~ 

   I'm sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed right now.  I know it's tough to pull yourself out of that- I've btdt- so please let your feelings out here, with a therapist, or wherever you feel it's most helpful.   Hang in there! 

**forestdale** · 08-06-2005, 04:43 PM

Awww Michelle, I'm sorry you're feeling low. I wish I were closer. I'd be over there like a shot to make you cups of tea and talk, talk, talk. I've never been to a therapist, australians generally don't. I do have a few very good friends though and we are each other's therapists. You need someone you can trust who you can talk to. A therapist just acts as a sounding board and tries to give you strategies for coping. A friend can do that too.

I think you have times in your life when you stall and can't get moving again. Various things happen to make you stall, your family malfunctioning is one of them. Michelle, I can remember when my sons were teenagers. One of them was almost suicidal - he was in boarding school at the time, and when we spoke on the phone, he scared me with talk of being unbearably unhappy with various people and his life in general. I wanted to take him out of that school and bring him home but he didn't want that either. I made many trips up there, lived in a hotel room so I could see him every afternoon and evening after school and after a while of me just being there and many hours of talking to him, it all blew over. Now he doesn't even remember it.

The only advice I can offer is to be there for your son, let him know you love him, no matter what happens. I think there is a time in the lives of young teenagers when they are so messed up they can't function properly. If you can get them over that hurdle, it does get better.

And now back to you, young lady.

While all this is happening, try to care for yourself too. It's important. Stop being the mother that does everything for the family and put yourself into the equation. Take time out to do something you like doing - do that every week, or however often it takes to make you feel good again. Be kind to yourself.

Michelle, you are one of my most favourite people here. It saddens me to know you're unhappy. Please IM me if you want to talk some more and I just know we'll work something out. Life isn't hopeless, it just pretends it is sometimes.

**daddys3chicks** · 08-06-2005, 05:23 PM

HUGS MIchelle, it sounds like you are overwhelmed. You are in my prayers.

**voodidit** · 08-06-2005, 09:48 PM

Michelle, I am sorry you are feeling like this. I wish there was something I could do to help, I get the same feelings sometimes, if you ever want to rant just pm me.

**Mom23boys** · 08-06-2005, 10:11 PM

Thank you for all your concerns.

I am beginning to feel better about things. I guess I am just on an emotional rollercoaster and wonder when it will stop so I can get off.

**pip** · 08-07-2005, 12:18 AM

I'm sorry that you've been having a rough time. I have three kids the same ages as yours; my 17 year old son is clinically depressed and has been almost to the point of suicidal. I know that it is exhausting to live with, day in and day out. If I didn't have a couple of good friends I could vent to, I know I would go nuts. Please don't give up. Find someone you can trust and talk, talk, talk. Try to get enough rest and maybe try to go for a walk every day. When I find myself obsessing over him with worry to the point that I can't think about anything else, I tell myself to stop. It's not easy, but I can't change anything by anxious worry. Sometimes that helps. I pray that you can find the rest and peace that you need.