Out of town grand baby

**dortrust** · 10-17-2008, 08:23 PM

I know that many of you must have ideas on what to do when you have a grandchild that lives out of town. I have 4 grandkids close by and will soon have a fifth but she will be about 3 - 4 hours from here. I know it could be that she was half way across the country and I am fortunate that it is driveable. I am quite close with the 4 that are here and am worried about being part of the next ones life too.

Any ideas would be appreciated.

**jdr250** · 10-18-2008, 10:19 AM

My mom lives a good distance from me, but she calls the kids frequently and once a month she gets them for the weekend. We drive them there she brings them home. It's not as easy as it is for my dhs mom who lives 15 minutes away so we can call and say hey can watch the kids or the kids can call and ask to stay at her house cause they're bored. But it can be done. My kids are very close to both grandmas. Also when we were far away (before we moved back to our hometown) my mil would take my son once a month for the weekend and then we would make the effort to drive home and spend another weekend and then in the summer she would take my son for a week in the summer. So even with one far away and one close my kids have great relationships with their grandparents, better than some who's grandparents live right next door.

**elphie** · 10-18-2008, 10:20 AM

We are not the grandparents but raising the grandchildren and a few things that have worked for us to help the kids have a close relationship with Grandma and Grandpa:

-we bought a webcam and can skype each other for free (this is like a video phone call made online)
-we upload all of our pictures to Snapfish and email the link so grandparents can see all the fun activities (last year for Christmas we gave them a gift certificate to the site)
-we gave them a stationary set with addressed and stamped envelopes so they can write (usually after viewing online photos they will write commenting about something fun we did) and of course since my kids are older they write back
-before we had skype we would mail tape recorded messages- my kids love listening to grandma's tape of a bedtime story at night (she would buy a book and send it to us with the tape so the kids could follow along or we would send her a copy of the kids favorite books that she would then send back with the tapes), now she sometimes skypes a bedtime story and can show them the pictures herself
-find a fun place to meet halfway, there is a great state park about halfway between us where we sometimes meet for picnics
-and of course they LOVE and look forward to the times they get to go spend the week there (some of my best memories as a little girl are of staying with my grandma who lived in another state)

Don't worry, with just a little bit of effort you will have a close relationship with this new grandchild!

**Fotobug** · 10-18-2008, 12:45 PM

Our grandchildren live about 4 hours and we have done as others have suggested - have them come for a weekend (or longer) visit as often as we can. Sometimes we had all at once, other times we would have them individually so they'd get more special attention. In your case, that might be even more special since they can get to know their cousins, too.

Another thing we did was to take each one as he/she turned 3 on their first plane trip to someplace special. As they got older we couldn't get away with that because if one went they ALL wanted to come.

We always took lots of pictures when they were here, had them developed and gave them to the kids to take back home. Even in these days of digital photography, I would still do that with younger kids - they love to have pictures they can hold onto, hide, get out and look at over and over again.

Then, when we talked to them on the phone they'd say " 'Member when we did xxxxxx?" from seeing the pictures repeatedly.

Now they are teenagers and don't come to visit so often because . . . well, because they're teenagers! LOL! This past summer we had them all here for a couple of days and the highlight was taking them to the waterpark for the day. Whew! Expenses add up rapidly when you do something major like that, though! Sure blows the budget for a couple of months.

Now that I'm retired and have more time, I try to visit THEM more. They live on a farmlet and, even as teens, enjoy showing me around, introducing me to each new animal, touring the garden, seeing how they've fixed up their rooms, etc. One even wanted me to come to the middle school to see her locker and the oldest took me to the natural foods store where he works to show off both his driving and his job!

It can work - good for you for starting to think about it now!

**Duffy** · 11-13-2008, 07:28 PM

Hello. I am new here; but cannot resist the chance to 'talk' with other grandparents. Hubby and I waited a very long time; and now have our first 'grand', who recently had his 1st birthday. We are bless to have him...[and his parents

] live nearby. His other grandparents live about 3 hrs. away; so they, on frequent Saturdays, meet grandson and his parents in a town about half-way between and have a special time together: picnic at a park, etc. This is not a 'too' long drive for anyone...and, for them, it's working great.

Grand-young'uns ROCK !!!!:

**Nishu** · 11-13-2008, 10:54 PM

I'm not a grandparent either, but I have 3 little girls and their grandparents are in Illinois, Texas, Nevada and Ohio so keeping them close is a challenge we deal with to. My oldest has her own email address that her grandparents can email her at, but obviously that will only work when the child is old enough to use the computer. I also have a myspace page set up for the girls. I upload all our pictures to it and have the pictures separated in albums according to the month they were taken, I also have an album for their artwork. I post videos on it that I upload to photobucket too. The blog feature is handy too. I especially like the blogs because I keep all four sets of grandparents updated without mailing out 4 letters or making 4 phone calls every week.

Of course, it only works because all our parents have myspace. It may be something to bring up with your kiddos.

**Nana2two** · 11-22-2008, 01:14 AM

My grandsons are 45 minutes away, but i have them from on the weekends.

**itlw8** · 12-05-2008, 11:16 AM

ours live 2 1/2 hour away we visit and so do they but it is not enough for me

I have them for a week in the summer and often we will meet the parents 1/2 way for lunch and switch the kids. I make sure we do special things when they are here.. Dgd like to paint and make things.

I made a picture book with pictures of us together. A web cam would be nice

I am jealous of the other grandma who gets them every day and she is a bit jealous of me as the kids think I am the fun grandma.

**LovetoCraft** · 12-22-2008, 07:30 PM

I don't know if I'll ever be a grandparent. I'm waiting and waiting...LOL. The grown kids are nowhere near even thinking about dating (27 & 23)....but I'm ready for a little one to hug and play with!

**fairygodmother11** · 01-04-2009, 09:06 AM

I understand!!! We have 10 grandbabies(11th due in May) 5 plus the little newbie live out of state. It is only a 2 hour drive but with cuts at work, can't afford to just take off when I want.

I call almost everyday. We never miss a birthday party. I try to make grandparents day at school when I can afford it. (its always a suprise) Have driven there just to see a 30 minute school play.

The boys, ages 2 and 4, don't stay the nigt unless mom is here to. They just don't like staying over by themslves.(hope that changes soon.

The girls 8,5 &1 have stayed the night on several occasions. My 5 yr old as an extremely high level of ADHD and they are still trying to find the rite levels of meds for her so her visits take ALOT out of a person.

I just d what ever I can to keep us together!!!!

**onencgirl** · 01-04-2009, 02:12 PM

I have 3 grands, one lives close and the other 2 live 11 hours away driving. We talk almost weekly and once a year they come with their parents to stay a week.( They call me Nana at the beach, lol). Also, I try to fly out to see them once or twice a year. I used to drive it but it makes me nervous to drive that long now especially thru the mountains.

**dortrust** · 01-05-2009, 07:30 AM

She is now 1 month old. I was able to spend a week with them when she was born. My daughter asked me to. The were home one week later for Christmas. Mommy updated facebook about once per week. We talk on the phone everyday. It has been awhile now and I want to buzz down for 24 hours but it is hard to find time. I will adjust.

**dortrust** · 01-19-2009, 07:07 AM

I can tell that as time goes on we will figure out a way to be close to her as well as the in town grandkids. They were home again because Mom needed minor surgery. I have seen her quite a bit and she is only six weeks old. Facebook is great and cell phones.

**KKCondrey** · 01-19-2009, 08:42 AM

All sets of grandparents live in NC and we are just next door in TN. Hubbys' parents are about 2 hours 15 minutes away and my mom & stepdad are about 2 1/2 - 2 3/4 hours away but they all see Paige about once a month. I currently work 2 weekends a month and the grandparents switch weekends. I'll usually meet them on a Friday afternoon and again on Sunday for lunch to pick her back up and sometimes they come up and spend the weekend with us or come up just for the day on a Saturday or Sunday.

My dad is a little over 3 hours away so he usually gets the pictures over email and sees us around Christmas and paige's B-day and will be coming up for a day or so in March when granddaughter 2 makes her entrance into the world.

**Pasque** · 02-05-2009, 06:09 PM

Hi,

I am new here but thought I would jump in!

One thing to keep in mind is that you will have a different relationship with the out-of-town grandbaby that you do with the others. It will be more quality time than quantity. Maybe just not forcing the relationship to be the same as you have with the others, is a start. If that makes sense. BTW, Lots of good suggestions here!