Any other older parents?

[Booklover]

Hello! I've been on the forum awhile, but have been a bit shy to post. Well, here goes.

My husband and I waited to have children. We did alot of travel, etc. When I was 37 I really felt the deep urge to have children, so had my first at 38, my second at 40 and my third at 41. We're both 47 now, and it's been great!

There are times we really feel the generational differences though, especially with the parents of my kids' friends. Does anyone else have somewhat similar experiences?

[jas]

I am 47 now also. Sorry I don't have children that are your childrens age mine are 23 and soon to be 16. My parents were older when they had me though. My older brothers are 11 and 12 years older than me. Usually all of my friends were the oldest in their familys and I was the youngest so my parents didn't socialize much with them.

I am sure you will have some responses from others that are in your situation.

[MRAHoffman]

I was 36 when I had my son, my mother was 32 and my grandmother (who was born in 1892) was 40, but I wouldn't have done it ANY differently. Take care and God bless.

[IntlMom]

well, yes and no. I was 29 when we adopted our boys and 36 when we adopted our daughter. I don't do any of those "young mom" type groups, cause I never felt like I related. Even with our boys, at 29, most of my friends had 2 or 3 by that point. And then being 36 adopting our daughter.....well, I want my daughter to go to the kids program for the young moms (MOPS), but I don't actually want to go myself, so I teach the 3 year old room. I just don't share much in common with those 21 year old first time moms......and I am pretty old fashioned in my child rearing, they don't always care to hear me say what I think they should do when Johnny says "no" and screams in the store!

[brenda67]

I had mine at 26,28 and 30...I'm alway's amazed when I meet one of my old school aged friend's and their children are soooo much older then mine...especially when they tell me they are grandparents my oldest just turned 16..so I can totally relate to what your saying!

[xtena]

I became pregnant with my only DD at age 35. She's seven now, and I've been asked if I were her GRANDMOTHER on more than one occasion. Ugh. Do the math, I am not THAT OLD. Sure, I have some gray hair, and don't color any more after reacting to the hair dye skin test, but I don't look or feel old enough to be a grandmother. In fact, until she came along I looked younger than my actual age. It's just that there are so many unwed teen mother these days, whose own unwed teen mothers are younger than me yet are now grandmothers, that us older moms are treated like freaks of nature or something.

[celina]

nope not me, but my mom was 36 when she had me....didnt make friends with any of the parents of my friends, my brother is 18 yrs older than me and my sister is 14 yrs older than me....at least your kids are close in age...so that should be fun....enjoy...

[homesteadmamma]

I was 38, 40 & 41 when we adopted our 3 youngest children. We found that we had way more patience with them than we did with the older kids. We didn't have any problems with our friends, they accepted the kids and continued to be our friends.

[moonbeam]

my mom was 47 and my dad was 62 when I was born. She thought she was all done with menopause, he thought they would soon be buying a motor home.

I had my children while I was in my early 20's and I can tell you that I had better parents then my kids did and better then any of my friends had. I'm glad to be 44 and have my youngest be 20, but it was awful hard to raise them without finishing raising myself first.

You older parents have very lucky children.

[rebecca]

With my youngest daughter I had her when I was 34. Fifty now and feel like an old lady when I go to my daughter's school for school functions. Like some of the others on this forum I don't relate with the younger mothers. Nothing wrong with them but their values are alot diffent from mine. Kind of old fashioned here.

[joyofsix]

I had my last baby when I was almost 45. I didn't have my first until I was 29 so I got a late start. I'm not trying but if I came up pregnant again it'd be ok.

[danni]

I had my first when I was 16 and my last when I was 30. When the first was born I didn't fit in because all the parents were quite a bit older than me. When the last was born I went to some play groups with her and found most of the moms were younger than me and when they heard I had older kids too they kind of shut me out, so I just stopped going.

[NewLeaf]

I had mine when I was 30 and 37. It just took that long btwn them....
I went to MOPS w/both. In my MOPS group there were mostly moms my age....
I find that I feel much older than my sons parents that I meet at school. But you always have your kids in common.

I also had the "Is that your grandson" comment with my youngest. He was only 6 weeks old when it happened the first time. I went home and cried my eyes out....But thinking about it, most people in my area had their kids right out of high school.

[georgiamom]

I had my oldest dd at 21 then I had my youngest at 35 yep 14 years difference. But here where I live small town of 5000. I find that several other families are the same. My boss is the same. Just the same only difference is his oldest is a few months younger than my oldest and my youngest is a few months younger than his youngest. People say does she keep you young. Well to tell you. Some times I think she does. At 41 now that she is 6 we get out in the yard and play ball. I was running a mile and a half when I found out I was pregnant with her so I was in pretty good shape then so she has helped me stay that way. I have also been called her grandmother and I do correct people very quickly. I am pleased to say I made this child. She is just like me and they must be blind not to see the likeness. Now my oldest dd gets mad and has had her feelings hurt and I tell her to correct people and to tell them the truth but people are so mean. I have two sil's who are both older than me and they have children two by the way after me and we all get along o.k. If people have a problem then it's their problem. My children are very outgoing and can relate to adults a lot better. My oldest dd since she has been around carries on conversations with people twice her age her father in the military has no problem dealing with stress and can almost handle anything but hateful old ladies accusing her of having a child out of wedlock. Brought her to tears in Piggly Wiggly. Yougest dd loves people and looks to be a politician are lawyer (I hope not). Can twist her father around her pinky most of the time. I have been to school functions where we see all the people that graduated with my dh and they are there to see their grandkids but we just laugh and say we are there to see our daughter. We are proud of her and it doesnt matter one bit. If you look close I bet you can find a group of parents just like you hiding out somewhere. I know I have found others just like me. Not just my boss but there are several other couples at my dd school. You can put up a notice looking for playgroups, check at the office, make friends with the secretary at the school or at the church. They are out there.

[Booklover]

Thanks for all the replies. I really don't care about fitting in with the other parents because we are in such very different places in life. I have nothing in common with such young mothers.

I am raising my kids like I was raised, so it's pretty old-fashioned, but boy, is there a noticeable difference.

I really get bugged at the permissiveness and lack of discipline. And they seem to fork out money for everything-I hardly ever hear them say no. Heck, some parents are giving $5.00 per tooth from the tooth fairy! Sorry, I think $1.00 is more than generous. I only got a quarter or 50 cents back in the 70's, so I think a dollar is plenty. (Like I said, I think very different!)