Do you have plans should this happen?

**homesteadmamma** · 11-12-2002, 06:59 PM

This past week, a young man (56) had a heart attack in his truck and passed away. He left his wife and no children.

Do you have plans should this happen to you. I know its hard to think about, but its been on my mind all this week considering what has happened here.

Have you talked about funeral arrangements? Do you know where or how to get the proper documents should this happen?

These are tough questions, but I think something we really need to think about.

When my dad passed away, my mom didn't have a clue has to how to make checks, what needed to be paid, where the legal papers were. My dad took care of all of that. Thank goodness, in his filing cabinet, he had everything she needed and then some.

Any thoughts?

**SewCrafty** · 11-12-2002, 07:06 PM

We don't have anything in writting, but dh and I know each others wishes. We have both taken care of bills etc.. so that isn't a problem. One of my sisters has agreed to take all of my cats and keep them together.

The funny thing is my mil has told me where all her papers are and her wishes for her funeral. Not her son (my dh) or her 2 daughters, ME! My parents same thing, I am the only one who knows everything and I have 5 other siblings living, 3 of which are older than me.

**KathiS** · 11-15-2002, 04:56 AM

We haven't written anything down, although I know we need to. I have told my DH what my wishes are many times. I think I would come back from the grave to haunt him if he spent a lot of money on my funeral. I have had several people I know pass away recently. They all had everything organized and written down. In almost every case, the family did not comply totally with their wishes. Why write it down if no one is going to do what you ask? I was quite upset by that.

**MJsLady** · 11-15-2002, 07:15 AM

yes. I am an odd person that way. I always make "contingency plans" when ever dh is late. I know its weird but ever since my moms stroke, I have planned away to not get "hurt" like that again, having to depend on charity to get through.
However I do not think he has thought of if I go first things.

**mommy2three** · 11-15-2002, 07:47 AM

i know dh and i are still pretty young (28), but sometimes i do worry what would happen to our kids if something should happen to us?!?! where would they go?? we have nothing written down, no will or anything, NOTHING!! it does worry me!!

**sunshine** · 11-15-2002, 12:54 PM

Another thing to keep in mind- you NEED a durable power of attorney for health care. At least in IL and several other states- it doesn't matter if you family "knows" your wishes about end of life decisions. If no one is appointed POA, they will do everything in their power to keep you alive. Tube feedings, ventilators, CPR (numerous times if necessary) and so on.

Perhaps that is you wishes- in which case you POA should know that as well and could communicate it to the medical staff in case you are unable to verbalize for yourself.

But. . . . what if that isn't your wishes? You need to communicate it to you POA and other family members as well. That way, they all know it is YOUR wishes and not just the POA making snap judgements.

In answer to the question- we have funeral plans (but nothing paid for, no money) we have our wills including guardians for our children, POA papers for health care, we both do the bills together and so on.

OH- we're 41 and have a will since we had our first son at age 23. We revise it as life changes occur.

**Darlene** · 11-15-2002, 01:28 PM

My Mom was left with 5 kids when my dad died of a heart attack at 41. She didn't know how to drive, work outside the home,etc. and proceeded to turn into an alchoholic to cope. I will not do the same.
We had our wills made when my kids were small.
I pay the bills and know where all the important papers are.
We know each others funeral wishes.
This reminds me that I need him to show me (again) how to take care of appliances in the basement.
By knowing all this and more I will have one less thing to worry about when something happens to my hubby. Sure is important stuff.

By the way, I'm 42 & didn't know I was a "third ager".

**captclearance** · 11-15-2002, 03:22 PM

Yes, we have taken care of it all... We are 53(dh) and I'm 41 and not in good health, we have older kids from 30 years old to the younger 2 still at home ages 11 & 6 .... You would not like to think YOUR OWN kids would fight over the estate but we did what we had to do to protect the 2 youngest.... Everything would be paid and procected til the 2 youngest turn 21.....

**Michelle** · 07-14-2005, 05:55 PM

Yes in terms of life insurance, bills, his wishes to be cremated, etc.

I really hate to think about it though

**fernykins** · 07-14-2005, 06:42 PM

Some times a will is not good enough. Both my MIL and FIL had wills deviding the estate into 4. My SIL Nancy has alway been a good artist. She waited until just before he passed (MIL passed 7 years before) she forged his sig and put everything into her name.. she even tried the life insurance to her only after his death. She walked away with a million and a half in 94 and now she is broke. .. So just make sure its air tight. Fern

**canadian gardener** · 07-14-2005, 11:03 PM

oh Fern, how sad. that is terrible. I guess we do what we can but tornadoes, theives etc may happen and take it all away.

Dh and I have wills, and we are pretty conscious of the other ones wishes. We know where everything is pretty much. Could be a bit better though.

**britbunny** · 07-15-2005, 06:37 AM

Scott and I have been talking about this recently. We have had two deaths in the family this year and so it is making us look at many aspects of our lives. We do not have a written will yet but we know each others wishes. We also have our life insurance sorted out etc.

I think we will make a will and get the fianncial loose ends tied up soon. I am 30 and Scott is 27, the losses we have had this year were really both related to lifestyle and so it has given us a bit of a kick to really start to look after ourselves too.

**Juto** · 07-15-2005, 09:15 AM

We have wills, although it needs updating since our third child has been born. I just read in a Suze Orman book that a will is really only your 'wish'. She said people (especially middle income or less) need to set up a revocable living trust to make sure all your assests go and when they need to. Although, one may have a will, she said the courts still have the say in most things. We are going to have to check into that!

**jlxian** · 07-15-2005, 04:49 PM

This is something we really need to do. Its one of those things I can't stand to think about, but deeply dread.

We are well set with life insurance, but have no wills.

When my dad died, my mother had little clue about what needed to be done financially. And when my boss died, his wife had little clue. Ever since, I've thought that someone needs to write a handbook for widows with all the things that will need to be taken care of.

One terrible thing I can't stand to deal with is what would happen to our kids if both of us were to die. I hate the thought of any of my family or my husband's raising them....... but who?!?!?!

**favesis37** · 07-21-2005, 08:50 AM

we have no will. we really need to get one, i am 43 and dh is 45. we have 3 kids, 4 grandbabies( who will get everything) i guess we need to get it in writtting