Contacted a relative that does not know of me.

[Labontet]

When I was born, my mom was married to a man from Massachussets. Shortly after I was born, he and my mom got a divorce. She and I moved back to Fla and I never knew anything about my real dad. All these years (57) to be exact, I have known very little about him except his name and that he was in the Navy during the Korean war era.
My mom married again when I was little and my step dad adopted me and gave me his last name. But deep inside, I have always wanted to know more about my real dad.
Anyway, I have been working on Ancestry.com and creating a family tree for all my family. In doing so, I found out that my biological dad had died. So I ordered a death certificate on him. I found out his mom and dad's name. Also a son was listed on the certificate as the informant.

I have waited all these years because my mom, my biological dad and my step dad have all died and none of this would hurt them now.

Now that that is written, I finally decided to write the son (my half-brother) and let him know about me. I let him know that I had found his name on the death certificate and chose to write him. I let him know that if he did not choose to contact me that I would understand and respect that choice. I just wanted to find out if I had any other brothers and sisters out there.

I know that it would be a shock to me if someone wrote me about such a revelation. I am not sure if I would be upset, but I hope that I would accept them.

I have to be prepared for a hostile reaction if they are upset about my contact. But, who knows, they may be very glad to know that they have another half sibling out there.

We will see.

[savvy_sniper]

GOOD LUCK! I am praying that all goes well.

[butterflygreen]

I hope all goes well.

[Greebo]

Don't expect the worst. It may be a pleasant surprise to your half-brother.

[Labontet]

Thanks. We will see.

[Brat]

Good Luck..I have been there..Hope all works out for you.

[jas]

Praying that all goes well and your contact is well recepted!

[Surilda]

I am hoping very much for you that he contacts you.

I contacted my half-brother a few years ago who did
not know about me. I didn't get an answer right away
but he did eventually reply. I think, like you said, it
will be a shock, and maybe even some mistrust, when
they have no idea you exist. So, if you don't get
an answer back right away, don't jump to the conclusion
that he isn't going to contact you. He may just need
time to mull things over.

I also noticed you are scanning old family pictures.
I have been doing this too with my Mom's old photograph
books. You are right....it is a job, but oh, so worth it!

[Labontet]

I am hoping very much for you that he contacts you.

I also noticed you are scanning old family pictures.
I have been doing this too with my Mom's old photograph
books. You are right....it is a job, but oh, so worth it!

I have finally finished the scanning. I saved all of my old pictures, approx. 950, to the Kodak Gallery. I also ordered an Archival disk of all the pictures (in case something happens to Kodak). This disk has been put in our safe deposit box at the bank and I made 2 copies of it to give to my 2 dd's.

I would really be upset if I lost the original pictures. At least this way we have backups available.

[IntlMom]

I can;t wait to hear how this ends up.....please make sure to let us know what his response is!

[Labontet]

Sounds like it could be a Soap Opera plot huh? I will be sure to let everyone know.

[madhen]

I found out, four years ago, that I have an older half-sister in Korea. Her son wrote to my cousin, trying to find my mother. My mother had a VERY volatile relationship with her family, so my cousin decided to give me the letter and let me handle it, to keep my mother sheltered in case her family was reaching out for the wrong reasons.

My half-sister speaks no English, and I don't speak Korean, so other than her wishing me a Merry Christmas the first year, I haven't had any contact with her at all. My mother, however, who had not seen her daughter for about 45 years, finally got over her fear and flew back to Korea and spent some time with her blood relatives. She saw some of her siblings, none of whom she had seen since coming to the U.S. in the early 1950's. She met her three grandchildren. My mother is a complex person to read, but I think it was good for her to make those connections again. She made one more trip to Korea and has gone to New Jersey (?) once, where one of her grandchildren moved, and is talking about another trip to Korea next year.

The funny thing is, not knowing that I had a half-sister my whole life, other than a mild curiosity, I don't really have any desire to meet her and have a relationship with her. It is almost as if she doesn't really "fit" into the puzzle pieces that made up my life, and it would require breaking the whole puzzle apart and re-doing everything to *make* her fit, and I'm not willing to do that for a stranger. I'm not opposed to meeting her, but I'm not asking my mother to make any arrangements either. And on her part, I get a distinct impression that my mother doesn't want the two families (my sister and I vs. her Korean relatives) to meet, either.

[mauimagic]

How interesting. Madhen - mahalo for sharing - sounds like you have a good take on the situation in your family and what will work for you.

Labontet - mahalo for including us in your search. Good luck - will be looking forward to see what happens next.

[groundhog]

i found out about 10 years ago that i have a full sister same mother and father that i didnt know about she was given up for adoption at 4 months old and i was 2 never knew my father i met her and we spent the day together but it was like meeting a stranger which she was we kept in touch for awhile but had nothing in common we also have a brother out there somewhere but i really dont care to meet him he would be a stranger too when i was little i always wanted a sister and used to bug mom about wanting one i guess memories go back i would have been 2 when she was given up for adoption

[shoiji]

You never know what will happen. Also, your father may have told him about you. Hope all goes well and you are able to meet.