our aging parents....

[Tatter]

No need to apologize. Just goes to show how quick life can change so quickly. Good times can and will be replaced by something life altering whether its a violent act or that of a mere passing away from age or disease. The lesson is when it comes to parents, children, or siblings, spending as much time with them as possible is the gift of life and remembering those times when they have passed is a memory that no one can take away.

[mh3rdwheel]

The funeral is over, it's been a week... hard to believe. The military funeral was beautiful & the funeral home did a wonderful job on dad-he looked handsome. This time last year I was living with dad. For over 16 years, I made the 2hr trip down & back weekly. I'm feeling lost .... Now, to clean out his house & divide the contents.
I want this thread to continue. Please share with us. We'll give you a hug, I'll shed a tear and we will become the best of friends. Thanks from the bottom of my heart for all the very needed hugs. xoxo

We can keep this thread open, I am sorry for your loss. When I had to clean out the baby stuff from my DS Nicholas in 1991 it was hard, I still have Nicky's baby blanket to this day, his brother DS Brad used it.

Again sorry for your loss.

[mh3rdwheel]

No need to apologize. Just goes to show how quick life can change so quickly. Good times can and will be replaced by something life altering whether its a violent act or that of a mere passing away from age or disease. The lesson is when it comes to parents, children, or siblings, spending as much time with them as possible is the gift of life and remembering those times when they have passed is a memory that no one can take away.

Thank you, my Dh and his mom did a lot of things that most sons and mothers did not do. He went with his mom and grandfather and uncle to bars, etc together. They were very close. At first the cops beleived he killed his mom, then later he had to tell his sister, aunt, uncles, and cousins what happened. Nobody got him any help they made sure that his older sister (that decided to live with her dad) was sedated and gotten help but not DH.

[Tatter]

Finally I can get back here. Harvest has taken over my free time Sometimes the hardships fall on one persons shoulders, no matter what that person has been through. Such incidents create shock as you know, but only the one who witnesses the action will ever understand the deep loss, where other family members wont because there is a visual that nothing can erase. Therefore others will neglect another not thinking beyond their own feelings of loss. I take it your DH has overcome this violent act, though imagine he still has flashbacks of it.

[krbshappy71]

Just checking in again. My mom had a stent put in her heart recently and my dad is in for cataract surgery this week. Yup, they are aging. I suspect they will age faster than other people as they have not taken care of their bodies over the years. No exercise, very fat-laden diets, sedentary lifestyle. My mom is not particularly overweight, I'd say has the middle-age-middle going on but that's about it. But the foods they eat, the lack of an active lifestyle, and heart disease in her family, I don't think she's going to have the easiest time in the future.

I thought the heart stent surgery would make me feel like "oh wow I have to spend time with my mom before she's gone!" but instead I was annoyed by the aging in general. She has told me before, "I have done enough in my life I don't want to do anything now that I'm retired." I just know so many retired people that are just starting their lives, in a sense, not sitting at home for hours and hours and days and days. I know, its not my life to live, I have my own life. Its none of my business.

I do think my dad's dementia will set in sooner if he doesn't start getting active mentally and physically but once again I guess that's his life as well. He has dementia on his mom's side and heart disease on his dad's side, he is very overweight right now but working on that. He does these Yo-Yo diets of practically starvation then gluttony when he gives up, he really can't seem to understand moderation in life!! At one point in his life he was 400 lbs, its insane to watch someone balloon up and then shrink down, that can't be good for his body system.

Thanks for listening, I do feel I should have more compassion but I just don't feel it. I don't feel like they are contributing to society other than staying out of its way. Maybe that should be good enough. They just have so much time on their hands, so much to offer, to give back both time and money to this world....sigh ok am done rambling.

[cab54]

krbshappy71----I was at my Mom's house Monday and Tuesday nights and took her to get her second cataract done. They really messed up the first eye, and had to 'go back in' there and fix what they'd done two more times. But this eye turned out perfect--she is excited how well she can see out of it. They put a Toric (??) lens in this one. She feels like she barely needs glasses now.

My Mom is starting to get more......lonesome and needy.....since my stepdad died in November.

[2ndGenGranola]

Does anyone else get the "drama" from the aging parent? Dad fell a couple weeks ago. Yes, he got scuffed up pretty bad but that's it. We took him to the med dr for x-rays and the chiropractor 2 times. Both say he is fine. He acts like he is so bad at church that one of the Pastors came up to me. I had to let him know what the dr's said then let him know dad is on a drama run. Before you think I am too insensitive, let him tell you that he moved his huge, big screen TV on the carpet all by himself today.

[Tatter]

Yes, I get the drama from the aging parents lol. It's kind of cute actually as mother has chastised me a few times. Her comment "Well dang it anyhow, about time you feel sorry for me. I brought you up, felt sorry for all your bangs and bruises, it's your turn to feel sorry for me" and most of the time she gives me this dirty look that just ends any more comments from me.