special challenges of having children late in life

[joyofsix]

I had my first at 30 and my last at 45.5. Go for it. So far I haven't found it to be a problem.

[HandyMom]

I waited until I was 34 to have my only child. I worked full time and had to quit to take care of DD. Raising her basically became my job and it was exhausting. DH was of no help at all. I envy those my age who are really retired from raising kids because theirs are grown and out of the house. Mine just graduated high school. She also is special needs. You never know what you're going to get when you become pregnant.

[frugal is fun]

I had my son at 35. Pregnancy and delivery were text book.

He's 5, I'm 40 and I am tired!

there are pros and cons to having children at any age. If you want kids and there are no major health risks involved, then go for it!

[SusannL]

I had my only child at age 33. She has been a joy and is now in college. I am relieved I didn't have her at 23 because my income has risen to the level I can pay those university bills and still have a life for myself at home. I am not sure it would have been less stressful to be married. I think it entirely depends on who you are married to. I was able to make my daughter my first priority without a husband competing for my attention or spending money that was earmarked for music lessons or art camp.

[valerian]

I was 27, five days away from 34, and 36 when I had my boys. The third pregnancy was harder but all of my labor and deliveries were quick (the first was the longest at 5 hours). I don't remember much of a difference in stamina throughout their infancy and toddlerhood. It's difficult at times no matter what your age. Our youngest kept us up much more at night than the other two because he had colic for months and then chronic ear infections for years. My dh put in a lot of daddy time walking the floor with him and then having to go to work all day the next day. I did also, but wanted to point out that my dh did an awesome job especially when physically or mentally I couldn't take anymore. As for vacations, I was born in Florida and then moved to NC and spent my whole childhood going back to Florida to visit family several times a year and to visit Disney World. We also took many other vacations with our parents to other places. None of my friends' families did this! Dh and I did Disney and Busch Gardens before our kids and after our kids came along we took them also. We are a roller coaster family! Haunted houses too! Age hasn't made a difference. Dh and I just did Universal's Halloween Horror nights year before last (without kids) and I took him for his birthday to Cedar Point four years ago for his 50th birthday. Kids stayed home with grandparents. I will admit that after a whole day of riding roller coasters nonstop, we were a little stiffer than we'd have been at 20, but so what? It was still a blast and next time we're taking the kids! I've taken the oldest to Europe, the middle one to NYC...the youngest wanted to do Disney again! Age is just a number...most of the time I feel 18...some days I feel 70...it just depends. I say have your baby...you won't regret it ever! Well...maybe when she or he is a teenager! They develop annoying personalities then...lol!

[calimomx2]

I had mine at 25 and 31 so I can't really help with personal experience but....my father-in-law was 42 when my dh was born (first child) and a month shy of 45 when they had their last. He was an amazing Dad, my dh would tell you he could run circles around any other Dad's out there. He worked hard and played hard and had a very active and long life. My mother-in-law was 13 years younger.

[Rhiamon]

DH and I were talking about this the other day. I had DD when I was 23 it was a hard pregnancy and delivery. I was on bed rest at 5 months. I always said I wouldn't have any more children after 30. Now I am 30 and have had 3 miscarriages in the last 5 years. I always saw myself with more children. Right now due to our finical situation I can't see myself having anymore until it gets better. So now we are talking about if we should have more children later in life or just except (more me then him) that this is what our family is. Him, Me and DD 7. I know for us because DD pregnancy and labor were so hard that I am more fearful about what it would be like to do it again the older I get.

[Darlene]

Hubby was 35 and I 24 when we got married and started a family. Kids were born 19 mo apart so pretty close together.
Hubby turned 60 when our youngest graduated college.
Now is a great time to start a family. Age is a number and you are as young as you want to be by how you view things, take care of yourselves and learn new things. Sharing all you are and all you will be with children enriches your life more than words can say.

[Marie78]

I had my first at 31 years old and we are pregnant with our 2nd now and I will be 33 when he/she is born. We are even considering the possibility of having a 3rd child when I'm around 35 years old. It's been a little tough...I had some complications with my pregnancy with my 1st baby and I'm hoping for a healthy second pregnancy. Mid 30's is still young enough to begin a family if you really want one. Don't miss out because of age! My DS is the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm looking forward to our 2nd now too.

[greekislandgirl]

My father was born in 1936 and I was born in 1981, so he was 45 when I was born. When we were kids, our upbringing was markedly different from that of other kids in our classes but I think it had more to do with our parents' personality than with their age. For example, my parents thought that television was a waste of time, so we didn't have one (I got a TV when I was 21 but got rid of it after a few years - if you don't grow up with one, you never "get it"). We never went on vacations, or if we did, it was someplace we could drive to, and we would bring all our food with us, and do nothing more than sit on the beach for a few hours: they just hated to spend money on things like that when they were more concerned about saving for retirement. They were much stricter about some things (chores, not allowed to go on dates, not allowed to go to movies, no allowance, grades had to be straight A's) and I remember my dad sitting down with me when I was in 4th grade and talking to me about where I wanted to go to college.

However, it's hard to say how much of that was because of their personalities and how much because they were older.

Now, I'm 29 and my father is 74 and in not-so-great health. I live abroad and see him very rarely, and I worry about him a LOT. For example, if I miss a phone call from home, I panic. If my phone battery dies, I panic. Etc. I feel very guilty that I live abroad and can't help them out, it's more like the other way around, since they still handle certain paperwork and such in the US that I can't do from here, and when I visit the US, they are the ones picking me up from the airport. So there is definitely a lot of guilt.

We never went to amusement parks or Disneyworld because my parents thought that stuff was stupid. If they couldn't see an educational purpose in a toy, we didn't have it, so I never had a doll (for example) but I had thousands of books. Again, how much of that is age and how much is just how they parent?

If I had children, which I probably won't, I think the only thing I'd change from what my parents did is include travel (especially international travel). Otherwise, I'd like to keep the rest (no TV, lots of books, straight A's, etc).

Some things that my parents did that younger parents might not be able to do: they were in a financial position where my mother stayed home until we were in college, we had absolutely everything we needed/wanted growing up (my childhood bedroom was bigger than my husband's and my entire house, we had a huge swimming pool, we had literally endless books and computers and expensive private schools and so on), and my mother was the PERFECT homemaker (absolutely everything was homegrown (organically of course), she made our clothes for us, etc). My peanut butter sandwiches were made out of peanut butter she would grind the same morning, strawberry jam she made from her own strawberries, and whole wheat bread she made every day. The average SAHM in her 20s doesn't have the patience to do that every single day. Some certainly do, I'm sure, but none of the ones I know.

I wouldn't trade my upbringing for anything. Not traveling made me WANT to travel more, and I've been filling passport pages since 3 months after I turned 18. I have absolutely no interest in TV, amusement parks, or any of the other things they didn't care for. No regrets at all. The only thing is their health and age now.

For example, seeing my father's relief when I told him I'm getting married (when I was 28). He really wanted to know I was "settled down" during his lifetime. But I have a friend whose father died of a stroke at the age of 36. You never know.

[Jerseygirl]

the princess was born the day before my 37th birthday. My pregnancy was textbook, but if I had to hear the words "advanced maternal age" one more time. Find an OB who specializes or they will make you crazy. Pros and cons, I have more experience at this age, maybe a little less patience, I have lived and tried everything once, so I don't resent being home more, I am at a place in my career where I can take it a little easier (only took 10 days before, 5 weeks after C section, but that was by choice) I can leave work when I need to take her to Dr. etc. and financially I can say that if I need to, I can stop working if she needs me to be home. I do wish her grandparents were younger and could do more active things with her, the last 10 years have aged them more than me.

[mek42]

We've been reviewing our financial plan and I think we'll be where we want to be to drop down to one income within 5 years. In the worst case, this puts as at 39 (her) and 40 (me) if we want to responsibly consider starting a family. Guess we still have some time to hem and haw.

[Momto5RN]

i had my first of 5 children at age 25 last at 1 day before my 38th b-day . Only difference between it all for me was the crazy scheduking because he was drug in carpools to basketball and dances and cheer stuff that the others didnt have to deal with because they didnt have siblings in HS when he was that age.

hardest thing has nothing to do with my age but with a dx of fibromyalgia when he was about 5 so ic ant always do as much with him as i did with the older ones but since i am not out riding bikes with him his older siblings take him .

only thing i found odd was when my youngest started K there were alot of parents in their mid to late 30s with their oldest or only child entering K and when they saw me picking up older kid sand they asked me if i had older kids when i told them i had 5 the oldest in his first year of college i got some startled looks - i guess because K and college seem too far away to them and they assumed i was their age or younger not 5-10 years older then they were .

[TheresaRHPS]

My mom was 36 when I unexpectedly came along. She had been told numerous times that she couldn't have kids, so she had adopted my sister from S. Korea 8 years earlier.

From what she has told me, there were not too many special challenges of having me later in life, but that may be because she had nothing to compare it to, and the fact that she did technically have a child already, lol.

She did have to go through more testing and pre-natal visits just to make sure we were both healthy and that if I DID have Downs Syndrome or another issue more common with older mothers, they would be prepared.

The pregnancy itself wasn't super tolling on her. She didn't even know she was pregnant until she was 6 months along. She worked Friday, I was born Saturday, and she was back to work on Tuesday. There were a few labor complications, but that wasn't due to her age. All in all, she had a very healthy, normal pregnancy.

She has mentioned a few times about being uncomfortable in certain social situations, lol...like when I was in preschool and all the other mothers were at least 10 years younger than she was.

I think one of the biggest issues for her now is that she feels that she won't live long enough to see MY little boy grow up, or to even see me well-established on my own. Related to that, I do think that I am a little spoiled and immature because I never really HAD to do much on my own. I was the little baby that my mom waited for for so long, and being so much younger than my sister, and being of a different father who was never in the picture that much, she felt she always had to baby me, lol.

[Lorelei]

They are a blessing at whatever age they arrive - unqualified blessing.

Totally agree!