Light topic, "Oh...you're staying?" Teen not leaving the nest.

**krbshappy71** · 02-12-2011, 09:53 AM

My youngest daughter is now 17, graduating in May, turns 18 in September 2011. This whole school year, and last year, she talked about moving out when she was 18. This whole time I've mentally prepared to be on my own and come to terms with the stuff that goes along with that. i.e. end of child support, end of someone to run errands for me, to be my backup dog care person, setting her up in an apt, having house to myself, etc.

So yesterday we're chatting with our tax lady, a close friend, and we were talking about 2011 and future years and how I handle my taxes keeping in mind what my teen will do, whether live at home, go away to school, etc.

I tell the tax lady that my daughter plans to move out when 18. Daughter looks at me and says, "No I'm not." LOL omg I felt so dumb and mean and...kicking out my teen...and....hahahahaa! I said, "oh...you're not?" and I'm sure there was a touch of disappointment (eeek! how embarrassing) because I really had come to terms with the thought of the house to myself.

Has your teen ever caught you in a moment of "errrr...."?

It did open up GREAT conversation on the way home because she talked about how she had been looking at apartments and learning the costs of all that and decided she wanted to stay home and save up money and maybe take some classes at the community college. But boy that moment was awkward in the tax office, ha!

**OOwl** · 02-12-2011, 10:28 AM

Oh that was funny! I have one that just moved back in from living alone in college housing for the past few years with a neat-freak room-mate (thank you, Lord!) that made her see that her mom was a BREEZE to live with compared to some of the others she'll encounter out in "life." She has returned more humble, able to clean her room and a kitchen (habit now, and without being told to!), able to manage her own money and not ask for mine, and with more appreciation all around. As parents, I think we shelter our kids from a lot of the unpleasant sides of life; however, maybe a healthy dose of it isn't such a bad thing. . . .

Glad your daughter is seeing things in a more realistic way. I wish you and her well on this next stage of development. Mine starts law school in the fall and will be living at home to save money during that time. Wish us luck!

**Debbie-cat** · 02-12-2011, 10:35 AM

Oh that's funny! It sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders though by realizing how expensive it is out in the real world.

Oowl - good luck to your DD in the fall!

**mauimagic** · 02-12-2011, 04:09 PM

One of those momentss which make great stories to share - sometime in the future with laughter I'm sure. DD has not moved home yet, but she still might at some point. Still at school on the mainland - 6500 miles away - and at the end of this school year after 7 years will be graduating with her masters. Then we'll see.

**craftypam** · 02-12-2011, 05:15 PM

MM

Curious to know how that happened. If my mom lived in HI; I'd sure not be living in the other part of the US; particularly if I was young enough and not on my own yet!!

**krbshappy71** · 03-31-2011, 09:40 AM

Hello all, just wanted to update this. Now my teen has signed up to go to school in the Fall in a town about 40 min away. I have no clue how she's going to pull this off as she doesn't have a car, doesn't have a job, but she really wants to go to the school. I work two jobs, so the car is not available when she needs it.

On a happier note, the day she signed up for the school she started cleaning her room like a mad-woman. She said she didn't want to wait 'till the last minute like her sister did, she was really pitching stuff out the door! Hey, if a clean room is all I get out of it, that works.

I think she had to set something up to give herself the motivation to get the job and get the car. Anyhow so now she may be leaving the nest but I suspect will commute instead.

**newstudent** · 03-31-2011, 12:06 PM

I admire how easy you would take that your daughter first wanted to move out.
My daughter moved and I'm still a wreck some hours every day.

**krbshappy71** · 03-31-2011, 12:28 PM

Originally Posted by newstudent

I admire how easy you would take that your daughter first wanted to move out.
My daughter moved and I'm still a wreck some hours every day.

My first daughter has already left the nest, she joined the Navy at just 17 years old, that was 2 years ago. For me its just a natural progression of things, I guess?

I'm sorry you are having a difficult time! Is it her that you miss? The mothering feelings? Are you at a loss as to what to do now with yourself?

Hugs to you.

**newstudent** · 03-31-2011, 01:59 PM

Originally Posted by krbshappy71

My first daughter has already left the nest, she joined the Navy at just 17 years old, that was 2 years ago. For me its just a natural progression of things, I guess?

I'm sorry you are having a difficult time! Is it her that you miss? The mothering feelings? Are you at a loss as to what to do now with yourself?

Hugs to you.

You are certainly a strong women.
Yes, I miss having her around. We had lots of fun together when she was here. Mothering is probably part of it too. I guess the biggest part is the feeling of loosing the kids and being useless. I spend more than 90% since their birth at home with them.

**Greebo** · 03-31-2011, 02:01 PM

Originally Posted by krbshappy71

Hello all, just wanted to update this. Now my teen has signed up to go to school in the Fall in a town about 40 min away. I have no clue how she's going to pull this off as she doesn't have a car, doesn't have a job, but she really wants to go to the school. I work two jobs, so the car is not available when she needs it.

"OH NO YOU DON'T young lady! I've waited nearly 18 years for this day. GIT OUUTA MAH HOUSE!!!!"

**krbshappy71** · 03-31-2011, 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by Greebo

"OH NO YOU DON'T young lady! I've waited nearly 18 years for this day. GIT OUUTA MAH HOUSE!!!!"

hahahaha!!!!

She can stick around but she knows its "my house my rules" so I doubt she'll last long after 18 living under my roof. *wicked grin* She also knows its not exactly a financial picnic around here. I am keeping current with bills but I cannot fund the lifestyle she would prefer. Such as, unlimited pepsi and treats in the house.