question for women in their 40's

**arnie** · 10-15-2011, 06:43 PM

I am 43 almost 44. (wow hard to believe it- I don't feel that old!)
I think my hormones are getting out of whack. As I sit here today, I have become very sad this afternoon. My DH and I have an empty nest ( since June) the empty nest happened sooner than I expected it to, but I thought I had adjusted.
I am finding myself really missing my DD 20 today. I am sitting here teary eyed. I have been fine all day! Now all of a sudden, I am about to cry thinking about her and how much I miss her. I just saw her last night! I usually see her about once every two weeks, and talk to her about twice a week and I seemed to be fine with it until now.
I didn't do this when our DS 22 moved out at 17- maybe because he was giving us a lot of trouble. Is this normal?
I guess my questions to you ladies is, did any of you go through this to find out you had some hormonal imbalance after all was said and done?
Is this what I have to look forward to? Or is this just the residual empty nest trauma??

**dancemommy** · 10-15-2011, 06:49 PM

I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm not quite to where you are yet- I am 38 and eldest is 17 and I seriously am considering having another baby because I am so not ready to be done parenting. Our youngest is only 7 so really we aren't there yet, but still....when I think of it now it makes me so sad. My mom cried my entire high school graduation day- it so annoyed me. My mom cried the entire day she drove me to college. And then she never cried again- at least not that I saw

I'm sure there are so many adjustments. Can't help you, but I feel for you!!

**Debbie-cat** · 10-15-2011, 09:42 PM

Yep. Happened to me last fall when DS started university. I would be fine then see something of his and just start bawling. It's normal and it does get easier. Hang in there. Hugs

**zakity** · 10-15-2011, 09:52 PM

Are you perimenopausal?

**Palooka** · 10-15-2011, 09:53 PM

Oh this is so going to happen to me. I think everyday how different and lonely I will feel when my 19 year old DD moves out. I'm trying to prepare for it. I think a part of me will be happy and sad.

I have a long way to go before the empty nest syndrome really kicks in. I have a 4 year old at 41!!!!

It's normal.

**frugalwarrior2** · 10-16-2011, 12:49 AM

My Ds left in Aug. and I have been in a state of mourning for him. I have tried to explain to Dh that yes it is a good and natural thing. And that yes I am proud of and happy for Ds BUT that I am grieving the ending of my child rearing years. It is much the same feeling I had when my child bearing years ended.

If your are perimenopausal you may experience a lot of the same symptoms as menopause before your cycle truely ends. I remember my emotions roaring large seemingly all of the sudden for no apparent reason. I would sit there being intensely angry or a stupid commercial would reduce me to crying jags-a commercial that wouldn't have affected me at all before. I got uber sensitive to noise and I had idle thoughts that everyone could tell i was totally unwound and cookoo for cocoa puffs. Oh and the emotional range shifted like a fast slide show which in turn made me ball. I also went through a time period of waking up at exactly 3 a.m and another of tearing off clothes and keeping windows open in the middle of winter.
I think I remember thinking Dh was having an affair too. I went at 37 and am now 50 so I am thinking back a bit. And menipause IS a hormone imbalance.

**frugalfranny** · 10-16-2011, 01:38 AM

Ask your doctor for an FSH test............that will tell you if you
are peri-menopausal............which you could be..........It is just a simple blood draw.............Follicle Stimulating Hormone test.

But the empty nest is normal..........still think you need to know
about the menopause thing.....esp. since you said that you 'thought' you had adjusted.

**arnie** · 10-16-2011, 08:08 AM

Hard to know if I am perimenopausal- I had an endometrial ablation two years ago so I do not have cycles anymore. I know I have a history of ovarian cysts, and therefore, I have the normal cyst pain every month about the time which would be ovulation. I am just not sure if this is just psychological, or what to think?
I remember my mom going through crying jabs at the same age roughly and strongly related to us leaving the nest.
My husband doesn't understand how strong the mother child bond is so I know he probably thinks I am a nut case.

**homemaker66** · 10-17-2011, 06:56 AM

YUP, I know how you feel. My DD flew the nest in May she got married and moved to Wyoming!!! I had a hard time with it and my DH did not understand one bit. We took in a college student from our church. I have just enough responsiblites to fill the void but not enough where I worry like my own. It is nice having a young person in the home coming and going and eating us out of house once again. Also on the crying jag I took a natural herb called 5-htp found in any store helps with the mood. I wish you luck it does get better in time. Hugs.

**Ruthie Redneck** · 10-24-2011, 11:27 PM

I had an ablation 2 years ago as well. I am definitely still cycling and the hormones are on a roller coaster ride and won't jump off! LOL

Right now, I'm using essential oils and trying to get my moods on an even keel. If I don't find results soon, I'll be asking my doc for more help from medical science.

I'm not sure exactly what your questions was but my answer is, "Yes, you are normal. We are all in this together!"

**betterthanIdeserve** · 10-27-2011, 08:03 PM

It's funny sometimes how the boys it's not as hard but my daughter I miss terribly but there is still one at home so it's not as bad. I'm over 50 and I know when these last two leave it's going to be rough. So hugs.

**Nana2two** · 10-27-2011, 10:41 PM

Im going through it. Im 43 and my daughter and the grandsons moved back in a year ago. Then they just got there own place a few weeks ago. Im sitting her think how much i miss them. Its a emptiness . Hugs to you.

**cheryl65** · 10-27-2011, 11:29 PM

Its totally normal. My daughter went to college 90 minutes from home. She came home every weekend and we talked on the phone and text and imed every day but i cried almost every Sunday after she left because i missed her. Even though i was so proud and wanted her to go to her college of choice i was a lonely mom.

**Carlad** · 12-11-2011, 08:44 AM

My daughter moved out last year and it was very very difficult. Now she moved a couple of miles from us and is expecting.

We see her more now then when she was living here. She actually comes over to visit, eat with us, Play cards, watch movies. You just never know how things will turn out.