Will you soon have ailing parents to take care of in some way

**homesteadmamma** · 01-13-2006, 09:41 AM

I'm there now. Although my mom will never come to live with us, it's up to me to call her every night to make sure she is okay. I do wish she lived closer. She has chosen not to though so it is difficult to care for her or to make sure that she isn't being taken advantage of (which at present she is).

Have you given any thought to this?

**Kimberlina** · 01-13-2006, 10:16 AM

I don't think we will any time soon, but HAVE given thought to this.

Having formerly worked in senior physical med and rehab, I've seen it all when it comes to geriatric ailments. I like to think if either of my parents was needing care, I could take care of them through just about anything. The only thing I would want them in a specialized setting for is moderate to advanced dementia. It is a danger to them and me to have them around in a regular home setting when, for instance, they don't remember things like fire is dangerous. We had a really nice alzheimer's home on the campus of that rehab facility and IMO it is just to emotionally and physically draining to be taking care of a dementia patient (not early stages, mind you) 24-7. I had patients who I had to feed (no biggie, right, there were a lot who needed assistance eating) but it is just so hard to see an adult who you need to remind to swallow their food.

**mom2matty** · 01-13-2006, 10:38 AM

We are there but both of dh's parents and my Dad have all passed away already. We just have Mom, she is 76 and lives with one of my older sisters who isn't married, has no kids. She is almost 300 miles away which I don't like but I am glad that my sister is there with her. I do call her atleast 2 times a week to check on her. We really are thankful that Catherine is there with her, I know she will do whatever is necessary to be sure that Mom is taken care of and she and I do talk often and I would be the first person she would call if or when something would need to be dealt with.

**Darlene** · 01-13-2006, 11:10 AM

We've both have had to change the way we do things. For instance, we used to have the inlaws over for dinner but now they can't see well to drive at night so we have daytime get togethers and lunch. We will continue to help them as much as they will let us, and then some more.

**dwallyfam** · 01-13-2006, 04:00 PM

I am at that stage now. Since my mom recently passed away I have to help my dad with all the paperwork. I had to take today off from work to go to the bank and straighten some things out for him. Also have to help the ILs since SIL is trying to take advantage of them. DH hasn't a clue on paperwork so it falls to me.

Kellie

**fernykins** · 01-13-2006, 04:05 PM

Both my parents are deceased........my IL's too........ I did help take care of my parents when they lived out here..... My brother and his wife did when they moved back to Williston N. Dakota.
My mother lived 8 months from the time they moved back there.
Fern

**Tia** · 01-14-2006, 09:41 PM

I'm there now also. My father passed away about 5 years ago and my mother just shut down. My son and I moved in with her to help out.

It's not easy. My dad took care of things when he was alive. My mom just spent. If things got behind, he would just make an extra run with his truck and pay the bill. My son and I have both tried to explain to her that it just doesn't work that way anymore and all we get is silence.

It's totally frustrating.

guest7 · 01-15-2006, 12:35 AM

My mom died two years ago and because I was the medical professional in the family.... I feel responsible for her early demise.
Dad's still around and I keep tabs on him.

MIL is still in good health- but she has daughters who will step up to the plate first. DH is responsible for the financial aspect of her life--- when the time comes.

**bamaprim** · 01-16-2006, 06:55 PM

I am close to there now. Both of my parents are still living, but have many medical problems with their hearts and high blood pressure, arthritis, etc.
They are not willing to give up their home to move in with any of us kids just yet. But they need constant help. I have to check on them everyday and make sure they have the thigns they need. They try to do it all still, but some things they just can't do anymroe. Like cleaning. I go and clean at least once a week for them. Sometimes I cook for them too.