Do you ever feel........

[lori121]

Do you ever feel guilty, that you really don't miss your kid????? I do miss him, it's just I really enjoy it just being DH & I.

Our DS was an only child due to various reason, not our own decision. Anyway.

Our son moved out in Oct.. In a way I'm glad.. For the first time in almost 21 years it's just DH & I....... We can do anything we want.


Family members thinks I'm lying when I say, I'm glad that he has his own place, that he's learning to be take care of his-self, pay his own bills. Maybe I made the mistake when I said I really don't miss him that much.

I just enjoy it being just DH & I........ Is that so wrong??

[northernmom2boys]

I think you raised your son and now its your time to enjoy your dh again
I love my kids to death but I am looking forward to the day when its just us again.
My dh and I were out the other day and a older couple were holding hands walking in the mall and I said to dh one day that will be us.

Be proud that your son is able to care for himself and you did a good job

I will let you know how it feels when we are there lol,my youngest is 7 so I have awhile to wait lol

[kittykatstrong]

I am right there with you. My kids are small 3 and almost 1 so I have awhile to go.

[lwlynch]

i think that it is healthy not to miss them. Just take blessings from that he can take care of himself, have his own things. You spent your time to make him independent and I think it is fullfilling to see them fly off...

[C@rol]

Do you ever feel guilty, that you really don't miss your kid????? I do miss him, it's just I really enjoy it just being DH & I.
Family members thinks I'm lying when I say, I'm glad that he has his own place, that he's learning to be take care of his-self, pay his own bills. Maybe I made the mistake when I said I really don't miss him that much.
I just enjoy it being just DH & I........ Is that so wrong??

I don't think it's wrong at all. I pretty much felt like
you did when my youngest left home. It wasn't that
I didn't miss him. It's like you said it was nice to
once again have be just me and dh. Now ds and I
can talk for a couple of hours on the phone once
a week catching up. But he is very independent,
has worked since he was a teen and to tell you the
truth it was like having another adult live here.

He stayed in his room unless he needed something
like food. He had everything in his room, tv, cable,
PSP2, air conditioning, ceiling fan, computer, etc.
It was like a studio apartment. lol All he needed was
a dorm refrigerator and he wanted to add that just
before he decided to move out.

But no I don't think there's anything wrong with
feeling the way you do. You've done a very good
job of raising your child now it's time for you and
dh to get back to enjoying you two.

[Kris B]

This is just now happening in my life. We only have 1 daughter and she just moved out 2 weeks ago. At first I cried then I got excited. It's only been 2 weeks and I miss and worry about her but it is fun just me & Hubby (and our 2 dogs). I'm proud of her but I wish she would have gone to college. Hubby and I are enjoying the quiet and being able to do whatever we want. I think it's good.
I'm sure there will be times when we all miss our kids but I would rather miss her then be one of those parents who can't let go. It's not healthy for the kid or the parents. Besides it's been a long time since hubby and I got to be alone and it is fun! Woohoo!!!
Kris B

[pammy]

I'm right there with ya, our dd moved to another state for college a month and half ago. I do miss her sometimes but the other times I enjoy it being just dh and me. And then I feel guilty, just like you said. It needs to be okay that our children grow up and are repsonsible adults, it means we raised them right.

Let's get over the guilt and enjoy it.

[emily_hope]

I'm not there yet, but getting close. My DDs are 18 and 17. I can't say that I am looking forward to them leaving home, but I am anxious to see them make it on their own. When DH and I got married we both already had two kids so we have never been just he and I. That will be a new experience. Anyways... I don't think you should feel guilty, just pride that you raised him well enough that he can take care of himself and live on his own!

[cab54]

I feel good about it too, Lori121. I had two boys and they are happy and we are happy. I worked very hard at raising them, and am comfortable with this stage of life. I figure this is where we are supposed to be!

I love my kids more than my life, and 'do' miss them as far as once in awhile it's good to hear their voice or email them, or it's nice when they come home and I can get my arms around them. But they are men now. In my heart they will always be my little boys, but I always expected they would grow up. TaDaaa---they did!

(what I DON'T miss is all of their friends here constantly, and the mess!)

[lori121]

Thanks so much....

[mikandmari]

My son just recently moved out. At first I was upset. I missed his company terribly. I thought I would never get thru it (I posted on here and received lots of support).

I was surprised that it didn't take long to learn to occupy myself. I have him & his girlfriend for dinner once or twice a month, and we have better conversation than we did when he was just passing thru... on his way to the fridge or his room!

I think the big thing here is that, like you Lori, my son is doing well. Struggling financially, which is good when they're young (helps to build those frugal skills!) but serving an apprenticeship and going to school, a good driver, and not drinking or doing drugs.

We have every right to be proud and to celebrate!!!!

[Edna_E]

I miss mine when there is something that triggers that - like a great sunset, or a joke that he would enjoy. I do not miss him constantly as if I were in mourning, and I think that is healthy. Kids are meant to grow up. So are we. I'm trying!

[dianne9106]

My DS is 16, he is my baby. When he was younger, I raised him to be independent, yet still love me and trust me. Well, next year he graduates HS and then either off to college or the military. I cry when I think about him being gone. How will the world treat him, how will he cope, will he be okay? I have raised him to budget his money, spend wisely, treat females with respect, and above love one's self. I have a DD that is 2, so we won't be alone, but I will miss my little boy.
I don't blame you for not missing your DS - he is 21 after all and I am sure if mine stayed that long I wouldn't miss him neither. It is healthy to enjoy your life without your grown DS.
When we lived in Italy in our community there were grown children still living at home in their 30's And most of them were boys!! Enjoy your life guilt free!
Dianne

[lori121]

Again thanks for the kind words. DH & I are going to start planning a vacation for our 25th wedding anniversary... It's a year away still. We are trying to decide if we want to do a vacation in March or wait till it's a little warmer & go to South Dakota?

[FrugalMomof3]

I dont think there is anything wrong with that.... you DO miss him but your glad he's on his own, I know what you mean.

I cant wait for the day it's just me and DH I will miss them but not miss them, if that sounds right.