I'm just so lonely! Finding a purpose(Very Long)

[krbshappy71]

I went through this majorly a couple of years ago. I started playing an online game on the computer. Don't know if that is something that you would attempt but it really fit my socialization needs. I wanted to be in my pajamas and not have to get up to go out and meet people. These people are online 24/7 sometimes so there's always someone to talk to if you want that. Seriously, 3 a.m., there's someone there for you.

Now I have filled my life with "real life" friends, pets, and activities so I slowly pulled away from the online gaming but I know they are there for me if I need them. (some I met in person, one I still have on Facebook, and others I still have log on to the game to keep in touch with or I miss them if its more than a week)

Find out what YOU want, that's the hardest part. I wanted someone to talk to about stuff that was NOT work, NOT my kids, NOT the daily grind and these people fit the bill for me. The game gives us a common purpose and the conversations go from there. You can be as private or outgoing as you want to be.

[starsapphire]

Get out and volunteer, help someone else in need. It's the best way to get out of 'self'.

[thefrugaltribe]

My DD is 18 months yet I completely understand where you are coming from.

I have only just began my frugal life and have yet to REALLY start it at home.

Yet in my life, my circle of freinds, my community and family I feel so different from everyone. I cannot offer welcome advice because I am so different and what I have to offer they dont want. Flip side I cant really learn much from the people who surround me because they just have different values to me.

I want to feel purpose but when you are working towards goals on your own that dont seem to benefit anyone it leaves you feeling empty.

I try to show interest in my families interests though and that makes me feel better, I find it easier to work together if I understand where they are coming from and what they want in life.

I think you deserve to have your own interests. Help people and work with people who will benefit. Help charities, work in a soup kitchen, open up a garden plot in a local community garden...there are lots out there that you can do. You just have to know what interests you

[alotofgooddeals]

oldest son is 21....middle one is 15 and youngest daughter is 9 and i increasingly see that they do not need me nearly as much as they use to... I know in 3-4 years no one is going to need me that much... breaks my heart...my motherly instincts are still here, i need someone to nurture...i am not willing to put my body through another pregnancy as i just turned 40 and healthwise i don't think it would be the smartest decision i have ever made and there are so many children out there that need good loving homes...have you ever thought about foster care...I plan on applying as soon as i can get my finances in order.... probably sometime next year...just knowing that i have this to look forward to makes the empty nest syndrome seem not so bad....

Dd#1 is gone again tonight to a friends for a sleep over, Dd #2 is at her friends chalet till Sunday and Dh is in bed and the cat just went outside.

I can't picture this my life, what I mean is, I need something. Maybe a trip? Maybe I should go and visit my mother?

I watched Oprah this evening her show was titled "The Age of Miracles: The New Midlife" and I feel like that is exactly what I am going through. One lady on there said that "She doesn't know who she is anymore."

I feel like that, my kids still need me but not like they use to. Dh travels for work sometimes, like next week he is gone for most of the week and I just feel so lonely. Not the type of lonely that I want to be with someone else, I couldn't even imagine that, but just a lonely like what is my purpose right now.

Maybe I am having a break down? I don't think that is what it is but I said to Dh a couple of nights ago that I would like for us to go on a trip next year, maybe to Europe or Australia for a week to ten days and he said that he couldn't go that long with his new business.........so, I told him........that if that isn't possible for him to take a week or so off once a year then I was going to spend money and go to next years Grammy Awards! I mean really, what kind of come back was that from me???

He told me that we can start going to Montreals live theatres if I want etc.....but looked as if I had grown an extra head or two when I mentioned the Grammys lol.

I am terrified of the thought of spending a night alone in this house....odd I know.

He also mentioned that I can start going on trips with him but the girls are at the age where I have to be "Here" whether they are or not. They are not old enough yet to be left home alone.

I feel like I am missing out on something, I have no clue what it is. I am not one for shopping and dread paying half of the prices stores charge.

I would like to start dumpster diving and looked it up a few years ago, and again after the Oprah show yesterday but there are no groups at the present in my area.

My friend had called me yesterday while the Oprah show was on and was telling me how horrified she was about people being Freegans, I said "oh, you mean dumpster diving" she was shocked that I new exactly what she was talking about and that I would also actually do that. Before I mentioned about looking into it a few years ago she was going "ewwwwwwwww"....then I told her about the website for our province, there just wasn't anything going on in "our"area.....

I imagine my co-workers would be shocked too but if I could, let me just say "Yes, I would!"

Material things are not important to me and I often wonder how my kids got to where they are. I imagine it is from seeing how their friends live. It really doesn't matter when I tell them that possibly they have to pay x number of $ before they own that paticular vehicle, or that they may never own their home etc....Dd #1 answer to that is:" So, everyone finances everything, that is the only way anyone can get ahead." Even Dh for Pete's sakes, he mentioned to me yesterday that for his new business he wants to get a line of credit through the bank! I was horrified........I said why?????? You have no overhead, what you make right now will go directly into your business account, we will use maybe 1/3 or your profits but that is it. I told him that this was the 2nd time he mentioned this and to please, promise me that he won't do that and he hesitated! I told him if he did do that I would be rip roaring mad ....finally he promised but with the hesitation in the first place I told him that I would find out whether it be checking his mail or whatever.

why are material things and financing so important to some people? most people? Who in the heck cares about material things, that is so shallow.

I mean my girls are pretty much horrified when I want to shop at value village or the salvation army. I can't help who I am, I have been like this since my late teens/early 20's. I am not perfect by any means, I go out for supper like last night but normally I only do this maybe 3 or 4 times a year.......and any take out I do maybe5 or 6 times a year like the other night with a chicken dinner from the grocery store IGA. But yet I am weird.

Our furniture is second hand except for our bedroom set. That cost us which was 1/2 price and even though it wasn't my dream bedroom set I kept thinking ok solid Oak,that can be passed down through the generations as it is so solid.

Sometimes lately I just wonder, what is my purpose cause I don't seem to be making a difference in our home.