Bridesmaid Shoe dilema

**frugalwarrior2** · 05-09-2011, 07:43 AM

This is your sister. Wear what she wants to honor her. Because its important to her, let it be important to you. Brides have so many details and therefore so much stress. Lessen her stress by doing as she asks. Let it be your gift to her.
Payless dyes shoes to match exactly. Not that expensive either. Just a thought.

**LynnLC** · 05-09-2011, 10:56 AM

Originally Posted by The Muse

Neither black nor silver will look nice with brown. .

Yup. Doesn't work.

Originally Posted by frugalwarrior2

This is your sister. Wear what she wants to honor her. Because its important to her, let it be important to you. Brides have so many details and therefore so much stress. Lessen her stress by doing as she asks. Let it be your gift to her.
Payless dyes shoes to match exactly. Not that expensive either. Just a thought.

I saw a commercial that Payless is having BOGO. Buy the shoes and something for yourself half off! Score!

**MsMarieH** · 05-09-2011, 03:30 PM

I definitely wouldn't deliberately disregard the bride's wishes. It's quite common for a bride to specify shoe color (though usually they specify the actual shoe - like a dyed pump). She will indeed have to look at those pictures from now on and it will just piss her off over and over.

**moasmom** · 05-09-2011, 05:52 PM

Originally Posted by frugalwarrior2

Because its important to her, let it be important to you. Brides have so many details and therefore so much stress. Lessen her stress by doing as she asks.

Well, to be honest, most of the stress brides feel is needlessly self-inflicted (and yes, I am married and planned my wedding). However, once you agree to be a bridesmaid, you are sort of stuck with going along with whatever the plan is, unless you mention at the time of agreement that you have budget constraints and will need to compromise on some stuff.

Whatever shoes you choose, don't forget to look for some that are reasonably comfortable (you will be on your feet all day!) and that you can wear again to some event in your life (even if it's not to the other wedding you are in). Disposable shoes for any occasion are a waste, IMO.

Good luck reaching a compromise with your sister.

Kara

**Spirit Deer** · 05-09-2011, 06:38 PM

I hate being told what to do. I tend to make my own rules. I especially hate being told how to dress and what's socially acceptable, and all that kind of thing.

But if I accepted an invitation to participate in a wedding, I would do what the bride wanted. I would realize before accepting that's the way it was going to be, and also accept that I might have to spend some money to meet someone else's expectations.

If I wanted to be in the wedding but didn't want to spend the money on the shoes, I'd find someone I could borrow a pair from.

And while I'm no fashionista, I wholeheartedly agree with the others who have said neither silver nor black would look good with brown.

**dancemommy** · 05-09-2011, 09:32 PM

Hate to say it, but I wouldn't put silver or black with brown so I think she is right on that front. BUT if it is totally stressing you out I don't think it is out of line for her to work with you a little on this and help you come up with a solution that fits her taste and your budget. Good luck!

**MyMelody** · 07-03-2011, 06:54 PM

I'd like to speak up at this point and say that I was a bride who asked my bridesmaids in brown to wear a black sandal with a heel of their choice -- preferably something they already owned. They wore knee-length dresses, so the shoes were definitely visible, and the black worked just fine given that it was also the color of the tuxes.

**Booklover** · 12-20-2011, 02:58 PM

For my wedding I bought the shoes for my attendants at Payless. They were the ones that could be dyed (they used to have a special order catalog for weddings). Ask the sales clerk about that. They also sold the dye kit there. It was pretty easy to do, was affordable, and all the shoes were the same.

When finished they looked like high-end shoes. My ladies were wearing tea-length dresses, so it was important.

For what it's worth, the bride is going to be stressed that day. You don't want to upset her. Especially since it's your sister. Yes, she will notice, and yes, she will remember.

After all, it is her day.

**LynnLC** · 12-20-2011, 03:18 PM

Lol. This weeding may have already happened..this thread was from May.

**Booklover** · 12-20-2011, 03:54 PM

Haha! I never even noticed!

**LynnLC** · 12-20-2011, 10:51 PM

Originally Posted by Booklover

Haha! I never even noticed!

Lol it's ok...apparently I can't spell either.."weeding" ugh. Lol.

**mndtrp** · 12-21-2011, 08:39 PM

It would be worth it to just borrow a pair of brown shoes for the couple of hours you would have to be wearing them. Maybe a little uncomfortable, but don't women typically wear uncomfortable shoes in exchange for looking good?

**LynnLC** · 12-21-2011, 09:12 PM

Originally Posted by mndtrp

It would be worth it to just borrow a pair of brown shoes for the couple of hours you would have to be wearing them. Maybe a little uncomfortable, but don't women typically wear uncomfortable shoes in exchange for looking good?

See above. *wink*