Wedding Invitations - Eagerness/Impotance Of?

**Libby** · 05-26-2011, 01:51 PM

Just curious to see what the big whoopla is about wedding invitations? I understand its to help the bride & groom get a guest head count and book the appropriate venue etc etc and for budget purposes etc etc.

DF & I planning a very small and intimate wedding and well everyone that needs to know - already knows. The invites are merely an afterthought for us, a formality if you will - ie keepsake. We do plan on sending them but I've had people asking when they're going to receive it, when they know they're going to get one and they already know all the details.

BTW: We're a very casual couple so our deepest and closest friends/family know this and understand the non importance of the invites to us.

What am I missing?

**Contrary Housewife** · 05-26-2011, 02:55 PM

It's part of the ritual. Even a casual, small wedding follows the outline of the ritual people expect for a wedding. Your guests expect printed invitations. The invitations are important to your guests, even if it is an afterthought for you.

**dinah** · 05-26-2011, 03:09 PM

once people have an invite they for sure now they're invited.

i've got a friend getting married this summer and while we have known each other for a while i wasn't sure if we'd be invited to the wedding...so once i got the invite in the mail i knew.

also, people need to make arrangements. get time off work. arrange babysitters. that kind of thing.

**Mrs K** · 05-26-2011, 05:04 PM

It is your wedding.
If invites aren't important to you and there are few guests you could just give them a call or send an e-vite?

Our wedding was a big thing but there are traditional things we didn't do because they weren't important to us ( i.e. Cake, church) and we spent the money elsewhere.
Bottom line : you are the boss!
I doubt close friends and relatives would be hurt if you tell them there won't be "real" invites.

Just my two cents!

**mndtrp** · 05-27-2011, 12:37 AM

Originally Posted by dinah

once people have an invite they for sure now they're invited.

i've got a friend getting married this summer and while we have known each other for a while i wasn't sure if we'd be invited to the wedding...so once i got the invite in the mail i knew.

also, people need to make arrangements. get time off work. arrange babysitters. that kind of thing.

What she said. Even if it is just a postcard, I would send one.

If I didn't get an invitation, it is unlikely I would attend the wedding. This is pretty much regardless of who the wedding is for. I'm attempting to get out of attending a sister-in-law's wedding this June because I wasn't on the invitation. My wife isn't going for it, but I still have a couple of weeks to see how it goes.

**Telephus44** · 05-27-2011, 09:58 AM

As a guest, it's more for scheduling. If it's anytime during the summer or a holiday, I want to make sure I'm not also committing to a cookout, other party, going on vacation, etc. Especially if you're not sending "save the date" reminders, getting the invitation out early helps your guests with their plans.

**dinah** · 05-27-2011, 10:15 AM

i thought about it more and if you're willing to phone every single person you're inviting and personally invite them and give them all the information they need to know then i would say you don't need to do invites.

in that case i would think it would depend on how many people you are inviting. i wouldn't mind phoning 20 or 30 people, but i sure as heck wouldn't want to phone 200 people.

**Sherryh** · 05-27-2011, 10:22 AM

We used Facebook to invite people to our weddig. It was a small and informal wedding tho.

**frugalwarrior2** · 05-27-2011, 05:01 PM

Some people will want them as a keepsake.
And I'm pretty sure you meant importance.lol Just teasing you.

I used to do invitations as a part of my job. Horrors. That is the place most weddings hit a glitch. Everyone-mom,bride,mom in law seem to ant a say. IMHO you better do it. Good luck.

**monkeywrangler71** · 05-27-2011, 06:03 PM

As far as I'm concerned, if I haven't received a written invitation then I'm not invited.

**krbshappy71** · 05-27-2011, 06:03 PM

Originally Posted by Libby

Just curious to see what the big whoopla is about wedding invitations? I understand its to help the bride & groom get a guest head count and book the appropriate venue etc etc and for budget purposes etc etc.

DF & I planning a very small and intimate wedding and well everyone that needs to know - already knows. The invites are merely an afterthought for us, a formality if you will - ie keepsake. We do plan on sending them but I've had people asking when they're going to receive it, when they know they're going to get one and they already know all the details.

BTW: We're a very casual couple so our deepest and closest friends/family know this and understand the non importance of the invites to us.

What am I missing?

Rather than doing invites, you could do announcements. Those can be sent to farther-family members without worrying they will show up. The announcement doesn't have to have the location/time just the date.

**FrabjousDay** · 05-27-2011, 07:13 PM

Originally Posted by monkeywrangler71

As far as I'm concerned, if I haven't received a written invitation then I'm not invited.

Yep.

If I was having a casual wedding, I would do postcards.

**Darlene** · 05-27-2011, 07:26 PM

I think people can have extrordinary days by being themselves and not doing all that others say they must. They know, you know, now go forth and celebrate a wonderful thing with all those you love. Shoulda, coulda, woulda have no place here, just share your vows to each other and rejoice with people who matter.
Best wishes!!!

**gottadance** · 02-24-2012, 09:54 AM

I'd send invites, but keep them very casual. It is still a wedding - an important event in your life. Just pick some up from Target. It's one thing to talk to people, it's another thing to know they're officially invited.

**Libby** · 02-24-2012, 01:13 PM

Just wanted to chime in with an update (b/c I saw this thread bumped up) DH & I did end up designing & printing our own wedding invites & reception cards. There wasn't anything out there that was commercially designed and mass produced that was 'us' so we did it ourselves...no regrets!

BTW: We got married in July 2011

On another note: It's interesting to see how people perceive official wedding invitations.