Appropriate wedding gift?

[LynnLC]

Must be different in the Boston suburbs

Not that I'm aware of...

[Luv2BeFrugal]

Agreed....and with so many couples living together nowadays before getting married, it's hard to know what they need. Case in point: my BIL who is getting married in Oct but has been living with his fiancee for a couple of years now. They have a lot more than my dh and I did when we got married, so for us, it was wonderful to give people ideas of what we needed as we set up our home together.

Well this post hit home! I just learned that the wedding was actually LAST YEAR in Hawaii!! Which is why the swanky reception is here, but I don't understand why it's so much later?? So, obviously they've already established a home...and if I'm understanding correctly they lived together beforehand (not positive on that point - you know how chatter goes).

How about making a donation in their name to an organization. Just another idea.

Ooooooh! I LOOOOOVE that idea!!

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I hope all of this doesn't sound like I'm being a scrooge. I actually DO enjoy giving gifts!! But, to people I've MET more than once (if ever!).

I'm just very conflicted about the whole situation...

To answer/comment a few things in earlier posts:

Yes, there are some "inexpensive" gifts on the registry...but most of the gifts choices are like $200 sheet sets, fancy dishes, etc. The 'inexpensive' things are $9 kitchen towels and the like...

And yes, I'm appalled that their registry and password was on the invitation. Keep in mind that all the other spouses of Dh's department have had little to no contact with this couple, as well. To me, that's just "fishing" for expensive gifts.

Yes, I guess I can see the benefit of a registry in certain situations after reading through these posts...like the "family on the other side of the country" type situation. For total strangers, though...yeah...not so much.

Okay...off my soapbox.

[Michelle]

Not that I'm aware of...

Well I live in the suburbs of Boston, and that's high IMO...

[FrugalKate]

Dh & I have been invited to the wedding of someone he worked with for about 6? months, but that man (we'll call him Fred) no longer works at Dh's company...hasn't since early this year (left on good terms).

Fred has invited everyone in Dh's department to his wedding next month. Dh checked with his co-workers and most of them *are* going. So, Dh wants to go, too.

This is probably lame, but I've only attended one wedding as an adult and that was a family member's. I have no idea what an appropriate amount is to spend on the gift for Fred and his future wife (I've met Fred once, at a company party I attended with Dh, and don't remember him...oops).

They're registered at JC Penney's and Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

We're still tight on money, even though Dh is getting a good salary (ah, the joy of giant student loans). I want to make sure this is appropriate (ie. not cheap), but to be honest...don't want to spend any more than is "necessary". I'll be surprised if we ever see them, again???? (Again, Dh wants to go because most of his department is going and it is a very participatory company he works at).

Can you say, "social obligation"? Ugh... We wanted to just get a gift card and call it good...

He knows him only 6 months? WOW I would never put anyone I only knew for 6 months under such an obligation.


I'd get them Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover. I think every newlywed couple should have a copy of it - It's a gift that keeps on giving!

[Sumacaroni]

Hey, I love this thread! Wish I would have read through it about a month ago..BEFORE my Mister and I attended the wedding reception last night ...because I may have gone with a safe or personalized pillowcases and pillows in tow!!

The wedding was my own co-worker's second wedding. This was his new bride's first wedding. Although I've worked with him for over 3 years, my Mister had never met any of the people I work with, we're all so geographically far from everyone and there are not many opportunities (none that I can think of yet) to gather with co-workers and spouses. So as a work group we all agreed we'd like to attend in order to have a "reason" for the spouses all to meet. Plus, the bride/groom invited only 150 people (75 couples), and the co-worker said most of the invitees were the bride's guests but he was happy we were coming to celebrate with HIM

Anyway, I was trying to decide on an appropriate gift level and, from what I know, it's customary to give enough to cover what you think they've spent on providing you the dinner and/or drinks if you attend.

Using this guideline and after checking out the website of the place they were holding the reception, I decided $50 would be appropriate. It was a fancy place, sit-down meal with wine and champagne, followed by a dance with free beer afterwards. I was going to give about $40 but then I figured $50 would be more solid and the extra $10 wouldn't really make that much difference to our budget.

But, from here on out, I like what you all have said about setting a "standard" wedding gift - perhaps personalized, perhaps the safe idea - and sticking with it. As much as I like the idea of shopping the bottom-dollar clearance areas, I just don't get out shopping that much and we don't really have any nearby high-end stores within 60 miles.