Me Time for the Working Outside of the Home Mom

**AmyBoz** · 06-29-2010, 11:54 AM

So, as I notice those of you who are participating in this forum, I see that most of you are also fairly active in the village on a regular basis. When are you able to do so, meaning, when do you get a bit of time for yourself, to unwind, surf the net, read a book, etc? Do you make it a point to carve out special time for yourself or just kind of take it where you find it?

**ansley** · 06-29-2010, 12:24 PM

Any free time I find at work.

**McD** · 06-29-2010, 12:32 PM

I do both. I purposefully schedule myself time away from my house, away from my kids because it's nice to get to spend time with friends.

For my scheduled down-time, I do a lot with the mommy's group I am in, but it's not your typical mommy's group. We are a bunch of batsh*t crazy women. We do all sorts of things--playdates with kids, movies wiht just moms, couples nights, monthly dinners, bookclubs, stitch n b*tch, dancing, weekend getaways etc. Our annual Christmas party has involved a pole-dancing class, a party bus, a drunken sleepover, etc. The women in that group are completely different and crazy and I love each and everyone. I enjoy getting together and spending with them. It keeps me me and not just mom-me, if that makes sense.

My July schedule with the YUMS (young urban moms) includes a slip n slide party with the kids, a family cook-out, our monthly dinner and a book club.

When I am just at home and get some unexpected downtime, I like to read, knit, cross-stitch, take bubble baths, watch t.v., get on the Internet, or go to bed early. It just depends on the mood I am in at the time. Because Zac is on 2nd shift, I am the only person at home in the evening with the kids, so in addition to laundry, dishes, dinner, etc, I am in charge of bedtime, bathtime, the quick straighten up, etc. I usually get about 15-20 minutes to myself after Wesley finally goes up to bed (around 8:30) and when I finish up with some of the stuff around the house that I have put off because I was spending time with the kids.

Its nice to get downtime. But I always feel like I should be doing something better or more productive when I have downtine though, kwi,?

**lisaflex** · 06-29-2010, 05:18 PM

i def NEED my own downtime!

i get it frist thing in the AM for about 45 minutes. have coffee, check email, change laundry if needed, unload and relaod dishwasher, watch news all ALONE in peace! love it

dd still goes to bed early - any time between 6:30 - 7:45. so i have some time alone if dh is OOT or we have alone time together and have a nice dinner and talk and chill out and have some vino!

i do go out for a few GNO throughout the year. although, havent done one since december due to the NASTY hangover i had!!! lot of fun was had though! and i wasnt driving!

**happymomof4** · 06-30-2010, 10:22 AM

I am a morning person I am usually on the computer in the while I drink my coffee. I have older kids so I have more free time now. When the kids where younger I enjoyed my mornings while they were still sleeping.

**rsbs** · 06-30-2010, 10:34 AM

What is this "me" time of which you speak?

I take it where & when I find it. Most times, it's during one of DD's activities - ie: chatting with the moms while she's in dance class, or watching my fav show on hulu - again, while she's in dance class...
thank goodness for wifi at the gym!

**AmyBoz** · 06-30-2010, 10:47 AM

Just realized I didn't answer my own question!

My kids are early, early risers, so I don't get that time to sip my tea and watch the world wake up in solitude. I guess I'll get that when they are teenagers and a bullhorn couldn't blast them out of bed!

Pretty much, I take time for myself when they have engaged themselves in some type of activity that doesn't involve me. 9 times out of 10, they want me to play the board game or card game with them, but sometimes, they want it to be just the kids. Or, when they go out to play by the stream (very shallow...no one is drowning) or on the swingset. I grab that time and pick up a book or something.

I also do schedule one Saturday, every few months, with my best friends from childhood. Usually, it's about 4 times a year, and we got into NYC where 2 of the 4 of us live and catch a show or just walk around and spend time together.

Strangely, work is also "me" time, because I can actively engage my brain in solving problems and working with teachers. I enjoy what I do, so it does tend to be a bit of "me" time as well!

**frugal is fun** · 06-30-2010, 12:58 PM

well I hate to admit this outloud but one of the best things about being divorced is that I get a minimum of 4hrs every weekend to myself. its usually more but miniumum 4hrs.

I'm on the computer all day at work, I don't have a computer at home.

I usually go to bed soon after I put my son down as I am exhausted by the end of the day.

when I do have me time I usually do yard work LOL! Its just much easier to get things done around the house when my son isn't around. Occiassionally I sit and literally do nothing but watch the tv. I do like to go for hikes but yardwork/housework usually trump the hikes.

I've just started dating someone and its been challening trying to get together with work schedules and my son.

**AmyBoz** · 06-30-2010, 08:52 PM

Good luck with your new someone, Judy, and we can all appreciate grabbing the time when you can!

**frugal is fun** · 07-01-2010, 09:47 AM

Awe, thanks Amy, you're sweet!

**jennordhavn** · 07-01-2010, 06:47 PM

My downtime is my commute on public transportation (1 1/2 hrs. each way). I get a lot of downtime at work so that is when I go online, pay bills, etc.

**krbshappy71** · 07-01-2010, 07:41 PM

Me time? Half the time I forget I even still have a kid at home, she's never here! Just kidding, I posted my schedule in the "what's your schedule like?" thread.

Send the kids to bed. They can be awake but in their rooms for the last hour before lights out. It has worked for me for YEARS. They get all that "I wanna drink" annoyance out of their system by the time they actually have lights-out time. There's no rules on this stuff, just do your best with what you have handed to you. For me, bedtime was my saving grace. I could read, crash, plan, whatever my brain wanted to do because I knew where they were, that they were safe, and that when it was lights out time they'd actually go to sleep. Heck a lot of times I had to turn off their lights myself because they fell asleep reading. I loved that moment of seeing them zonked with a book and their mouth open..hahahaha

**AmyBoz** · 07-01-2010, 07:46 PM

krbs...true, true that there is nothin cuter than a child asleep with a book on them!

**frugal is fun** · 07-14-2010, 10:18 AM

This past Sunday I unexpectantly found myself with time to myself.

I had my son earlier in the day. We've been having a bit of a heat wave here in CT so we hopped in the car and went to a local state park about 10 minutes from me where there is a lake and swimming. We were there for 3hours and had a great time. When we got back we were both tired from all the activity and the sun so we took it easy and played go fish!

So my Ex comes a bit earlier than I had expected and wisked my son off and within 10 minutes he was gone!

I did make good use of my alone time! I sat on my deck with a drink, a book and cooked dinner for the week on the grill.

But you know what ...I missed my son! We were having such a great day and then he was gone!

I really had to remind myself that it was okay to have time to mself and there was nothing to feel bad about.

**krbshappy71** · 07-14-2010, 10:37 AM

Originally Posted by frugal is fun

This past Sunday I unexpectantly found myself with time to myself.

I had my son earlier in the day. We've been having a bit of a heat wave here in CT so we hopped in the car and went to a local state park about 10 minutes from me where there is a lake and swimming. We were there for 3hours and had a great time. When we got back we were both tired from all the activity and the sun so we took it easy and played go fish!

So my Ex comes a bit earlier than I had expected and wisked my son off and within 10 minutes he was gone!

I did make good use of my alone time! I sat on my deck with a drink, a book and cooked dinner for the week on the grill.

But you know what ...I missed my son! We were having such a great day and then he was gone!

I really had to remind myself that it was okay to have time to mself and there was nothing to feel bad about.

Great job taking advantage of alone time!