U.S. Vietnam adotpions suspended indefinately

**Jamauk** · 09-01-2008, 04:25 PM

This is ssoo sad. I know several families waiting for a Vietnam adoption ~ their cases have now expired.

http://www.myembarq.com/news/read.ph...ARSDCCL3_UNEWS

**janelane** · 09-01-2008, 04:52 PM

Crap. They've been so fickle for years. I hope this can get worked out. That was the one country we had an *in* sigh.

**fernykins** · 09-01-2008, 05:40 PM

Well thats just terrible for everyone trying to adopt from there. I hope they get it straightened out soon.
Fern

**baronmom** · 09-01-2008, 05:42 PM

I actually know a family that is suppose to be going there this week to adopt two children. I hope that this does not have any effect on them. That is so sad that they can not agree on terms for this. The children are the ones that are going to suffer.

**cissylu** · 09-01-2008, 06:51 PM

aw that is so sad for all of the . I hope it is resolved soon.

**AmyBoz** · 09-01-2008, 07:49 PM

I am fairly ignorant on the topic of adoption, so please take that into consideration when I ask this question.

Why are so many people adopting from outside of the US when we have so many children right here, in our own country who need homes? I've never understood that, but I'm sure that there is a reason of which I am just unaware. I know we have many villagers who have adopted from other countries and I know how wonderful that is for those children who are being so well-loved.

I do feel very badly for the people who were already in the process and now will not be able to welcome their children home.

I can't imagine they can't honor those agreements.

**Jamauk** · 09-01-2008, 08:20 PM

Anyone that's already been matched with a specific child (called a referral) will be able to complete their adoptions. Those that were still waiting on a referral are basically SOL.

Amyboz ~ I certainly can't speak for everyone about why they chose international adoption, but I can tell you our reasons (and just from conversations I've had with others, I know a lot of people feel the same way). Domestic adoptions can be really messy. Birth mothers have up to 48 hours to change their mind and call off the whole adoption ~ regardless of who paid her medical bills, what agreements she's made, etc...one of DH's good friends had an adoption all lined up. They went to dr visits with the birth mom. They were there for the birth. They were the first ones to hold the baby. They woke up the next morning to take the child home and the birth mom said "never mind, I think I'd like to keep the baby." They were devestated. They are currently about six months ahead of us in line at the China program. Personally, I don't think I could go through that....and I've heard more stories like this than successful ones, unfortunately.

There is also a program for foster to adopt, some families chose to foster children and eventually adopt them. I know several families going through this process right now. This is usually a case where children have been removed from their home for any number of reasons. The courts will bend over backwards to try to keep the kids with the birth parents. I know one family that is trying to adopt a little boy. He was living with his great aunt when they first met him. They started visitation, then had him for extended periods at their home...the courts couldn't even find his mother. The courts sent numerous letters to her last known address giving her court dates, etc..after the third attempt to reach her the court was going to terminate her rights. My friend was literally sitting in the lobby of the court house and the mother saunters in with a letter saying "it says I'm supposed to be here if I want to keep my son" ~ the court gave the boy back to her. Shortly after the boy was back with the great aunt and the process had to start all over. Thankfully this time the court terminated her rights and my friend was able to adopt this child. But it was delayed by almost a year ~ a year during which this boy was bounced around from house to house.

There are also plenty of older children in the U.S. that are looking for forever families ~ I'd love to someday adopt an older child. However, right now I have two small children in my home and I have to think of them first. Bringing in a teenager that has grown up "in the system" invites all kinds of baggage. I can't risk what type of baggage might come while I still have small children in the home.

By going internationally, I avoid all of the above problems. However, internation comes with its own set of problems ~ llloooonnnngg wait times for referrals. Foreign Policy politics (ie: Vietnam closing its borders). Language/cultural barriers, etc...

Each country has its own set of issues as well. With China, they aren't completely trust worthy. A lot of the special needs children are coming over here with wwwaaaayyy more issues than the parents were originally informed of. China's wait time is also getting impossibly long (we've been waiting for 18 months already with no end in site ~ it'll be at least another two years, maybe more).

Vietnam just shut its borders, so they aren't an option any more. Russia still has a good program, but there a lot of children with fetal alchohol syndrome. They also require two visits to Russia before bringing your child home, making it cost prohibitive for some families. Africa also has some good programs, but a lot of their children are HIV positive. I've heard India is trying to build up their program, but I don't know much about it. Guatamela has shut its borders after reports of corruptions and baby stealing/selling. Mexico requires you to live in the country for (I believe) six months post adoption.

So, there are issues in all of the programs, both internationally and domestically. Basically families have to weigh all of their options and then just decide which program works best for them.

....so there you have it everything you've ever wanted to know (and plenty more!!) about international adoption!!!

(sorry, kinda got caught up there for a second!)

**AmyBoz** · 09-01-2008, 08:25 PM

No, thank you, Jessica! I knew you'd have the answers for me!

Thanks!

**DJ1972** · 09-01-2008, 09:08 PM

I know of 2 families that have adopted from Guatemala. They were very happy with the process. They said that in Guatemala, the kids stay with foster parents instead of orphanages and that the care was very good.

**Cricket1** · 09-01-2008, 09:17 PM

In response to Amy, let us not forget the cost of adoption, Jessica. I don't know now because it's been several years since I was in the process, but both times we adopted, US adoptions (of an infant) cost WAAAYYYY more than international adoptions. The biggest reason for us was the birth mother changing her mind and we didn't want an open adoption. I'm not saying that that is right, just what was right for us. We had considered an older child from in the US, but alas we did not want to start out our family in counseling dealing with the trauma that a child had been through. THANK GOD there are people wanting to adopt older children. I admire them, I really do. We weren't that strong.

Good for you, Amy, for wanting to educate yourself on this topic. If I had a dime everyone said to me, "Why did you adopt from Korea when there are so many kids here who need to be adopted?" Sometimes infront of my kids, too.

**Jamauk** · 09-01-2008, 10:09 PM

Originally Posted by Cricket1

In response to Amy, let us not forget the cost of adoption, Jessica. I don't know now because it's been several years since I was in the process, but both times we adopted, US adoptions (of an infant) cost WAAAYYYY more than international adoptions. The biggest reason for us was the birth mother changing her mind and we didn't want an open adoption. I'm not saying that that is right, just what was right for us. We had considered an older child from in the US, but alas we did not want to start out our family in counseling dealing with the trauma that a child had been through. THANK GOD there are people wanting to adopt older children. I admire them, I really do. We weren't that strong.

Good for you, Amy, for wanting to educate yourself on this topic. If I had a dime everyone said to me, "Why did you adopt from Korea when there are so many kids here who need to be adopted?" Sometimes infront of my kids, too.

I'm not sure what its costs these days for a domestic adoption. However, if you factor in the prenatal care for the birthmom, I'm sure its through the roof ( and there are no guarntees you will actually get the child ).

Cricket ~ you went to Korea, didn't you? I haven't followed that program much, is Korea still an international option, or have they pretty much shut it down?

**AmyBoz** · 09-01-2008, 10:15 PM

Originally Posted by Cricket1

Good for you, Amy, for wanting to educate yourself on this topic. If I had a dime everyone said to me, "Why did you adopt from Korea when there are so many kids here who need to be adopted?" Sometimes infront of my kids, too.

That is unforgivable and unexcusable that anyone, ANYONE would ever comment on your children being adopted, much less questioning where they where adopted from. And THEN, to do it in front of them???

I'd have totally lost my $hit if I had witnessed that.

**Lady_V** · 09-01-2008, 10:15 PM

My heart goes out to the families of these children. Cambodia is now closed. DD was one of the last 5 children allowed to leave. Had I gone over when they wanted me to (the week after) I would have been one of the many families stranded in Cambodia... having to make a huge decision... stay and fight it out, or go home child-less.

Jessica -- according to our agency, Korea is open.

WHFC

**Jamauk** · 09-01-2008, 10:26 PM

That's good to know, Lady V ~ thanks. Our agency doesn't go to Korea so I wasn't sure.

I'm just getting so frustrated with everything going on....I can't believe the China wait is sssoooo long. DH is really starting to feel that we were misled by our agency. When we first applied to their program the wait was 17 months. All they would say is that they wouldn't try to "guess" how long we could wait, they would only tell us how long people were waiting at the time. I can respect that, but there is no way in he!! that they didn't see this coming. I mean 17 months and 4 years is a HUGE difference. I think they could have said something....

Sorry, didn't mean to get caught up again...I'm just so frustrated, sometimes things just spill out of me.

**Lady_V** · 09-01-2008, 10:36 PM

Jessica -- if they told you the entire process would be 17 months... then yes, perhaps your worker was wrong is giving you such a short timeline.

From the WHFC site:

After a family's documents have been sent to China, the waiting period until referral of a child is currently between 30-34 months, although this time frame is expected to increase. The applicants' documents must first be approved by the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA).

WHFC will always send document packets to China in groups. After documents are received at CCAA, they are translated and reviewed, and finally, matched with a child. This process can take up to 17 months. CCAA always sends out referrals to all placing agencies according to a set schedule so all agencies are treated equally.