How many here have adopted?
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  1. #1
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    Default How many here have adopted?

    What was your experience like? How was the process?

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    We adopted 3 special needs children. Two were foster children and one wasn't. They were 18 mos., 14 mos. and 10 months when we adopted them. If you have any questions, pm me.

    It was the best thing we ever did and I can't imagine not having our kids in our lives.

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    Registered User Cricket1's Avatar
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    We did, we did. Best thing we've ever done! Lots of paperwork and time (we adopted internationally both times), but so worth it. My oldest ds came home at 4 months and my youngest ds came home at 9 months--he was a "waiting child" due to some minor special needs. Both are nice and healthy and now 7 and 5!

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    Registered User beks37's Avatar
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    I hope to adopt some day, since we are unable to have our own children.

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    You know I did! (Becky.....my kids ARE my own kids.....minor technicality, but once you have adopted your kids, you'll understand it's an important detail!)

    boys were 9 and 10 months old from Russia (at the same time)...... daughter was 11 months old - the process from China was long, but so worth it in the end..........

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    We did. It took a lot of paperwork, background checks, home visits. We went through the children's home run by our denomination. We were told after all the paperwork was done and checks were made, that we would have a 5 year wait. So we decided to not get a nursery ready, nor get any supplies. I thought it would just kill me to look at that for 5 years. But God's plans are different from man's plans. We had our baby in 1 year. And we had 4 hours to prepare for him! Wheeeee..............
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    Registered User Megareader's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by forHISglory View Post
    We did. It took a lot of paperwork, background checks, home visits. We went through the children's home run by our denomination. We were told after all the paperwork was done and checks were made, that we would have a 5 year wait. So we decided to not get a nursery ready, nor get any supplies. I thought it would just kill me to look at that for 5 years. But God's plans are different from man's plans. We had our baby in 1 year. And we had 4 hours to prepare for him! Wheeeee..............
    4 hours to prepare for the arrival of your baby?? Holy Macaroni Andy, that must have been one heckuva mad dash through the baby supply store!

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    Registered User Lady_V's Avatar
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    I don't know how I didn't see this yesterday...

    I have gone through the international process too!

    My experiences - surreal
    My process - thorough

    Unfortunately, The US has put an end to adoptions from Cambodia. Fortunately, DD was one of the last 5 children to leave before the gates closed.

    Even with all the paperwork, the late night worry-fests, the feeling that two steps forward and one step back in the way things will be...

    I wouldn't have changed a thing about our experience!

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    Paula, one more thing I thought of.....when we went through the process to go to China for our daughter, we lived in CA. Because CA is "regulation central"...we had to complete a ton of extra paperwork to satisfy CA as well as the mountain of paperwork that China alreay required. I can say that even with all the additional paperwork, it was still totally worth it. One thing about living in CA like you do, the process may be long and difficult - if you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, it will all get done - and know that many others have done it before you, so the path is paved and well traveled.

    btw - are you all talking about private domestic, foster-adopt, or international (cause they all have different "roads")

  11. #10
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    Megareader, sometimes I wish that a movie camera had followed us that day.

    I was at home and Hubby was at work. The phone rang at 10 am, to tell us that a baby was available for us, and that we could pick up the baby at 2 pm. The children's Home was an hour away, so we had to leave by 1 pm. I called Hubby's work and told the secretary that Hubby was about to become a father and needed to get home fast. She thought I was going into labor, and went running down the hall and skidded to a stop, yelling at Hubby to GET HOME NOW!!

    Then I called my parents and my in-laws with the good news. They all lived out of state, but started making arrangements to travel.

    When Hubby arrived home, we jumped into the Pinto stationwagon and headed to Walmart. We were informed that the baby would be given to us dressed only in a disposable diaper. And we were told that he was pudgy. So we grabbed a cart and went running through the baby department, tossing in bottles, wipes, diapers, towels, formula, onesi's, shirts.......... People around us were laughing their heads off and we just grinned like a couple of fools. We hurried back home, deposited the stuff in the soon-to-be-baby's room, and packed some things into the new diaper bag. Then we were off!

    Hubby was almost hyper ventilating on the trip to the city. He clutched the steering wheel and keep whistling through his teeth: "Whew...... whew..... whew...."

    When we arrived at the Home, the officials met us, asked us to be seated while they got the baby. I just couldn't sit. They came back in with a fat little baby, dressed in a disposable diaper and put him into my arms. That sweet little cherub looked up at me and began to scream. I quickly put him into Hubby's arms. The baby looked at Hubby, sighed, and went to sleep. Hmmmm........ The Home gave us a letter from the foster parents, and little plastic giraffe that the foster parents had given him. And then our new little family headed back home.

    This was in the days before mandatory infant seats in cars. I held the baby on my lap all the way home, just staring at his sleeping face and trying to absorb all that this day meant. Once we were back in our town, we stopped by the local Gambles store to find some baby furniture. The lady there was a dear older woman in our church, and she went bonkers when she found out that the baby in our arms was ours! To this day, she proudly tell everyone that she was the first person in town to see him! And then we spent that hot August night in our unairconditioned home, just staring at that precious baby. Word got around fast in our little town, and we began to have a steady stream of visitors that night. They came with gifts, with food, with cameras. Friends, neighbors, church members, coworkers: they showered us with love that first night.

    And here's another little tidbit of info that might send shivers down your back. We picked up our son on a Wednesday. A week earlier on a Wednesday, I was driving to the bank, and arguing with God as I drove. I was complaining to Him that it wasn't fair that we did not have a baby, while around us were abortions going on. I asked God if He had forgotten us. Something happened that I can't explain in normal human logic. But God talked to me. It wasn't in a voice that I could hear with my ears. But it was an unmistaken voice in my head. The voice said, "Calm down. It won't be long." It shook me. I had never ever had an experience like that before, and never since. I couldn't continue to drive and pulled over. I looked at the dashboard clock; it was 10:00 am. And it was exactly a week later, to the hour, that we received the call from the Home.
    Spiritual:
    "You are fearfully and wonderfully made." Please... respect life.

    Financial:
    Debt free, hoping to stay that way!


    MY BLOG: glorybug.wordpress.com


    1. Keep on writing.
    2. Get some balance in my life.
    3. Lose weight. Hopefully 20# this year.
    4. Continue to be looking for how God wants to use me this year.


  12. #11

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    We have done it twice, once for our son, and once for two daughters.
    The process is long, hard, and scary at times, but in the end it is well worth the work, worry and time. I can't imagine our life without OUR children......
    My story is a bit long, and I wrote and posted it a while ago. Here it is again as I can't find the thread.

    Children of the heart

    Good morning,
    I have a blended family. We spent years trying to adopt, and I do mean years.
    After a heart breaking loss of our first baby, at full term, emergency C-section, things looked bleak to say the least. Then less than one year later I almost died due to ruptured appendix. After a full month in the hospital and a total of 4 months of very serious infection I was unable to get pg. It was heart breaking to say the least. We decided since we couldn't have a family of our own we would help out other children and we began doing foster care. Now talk about a heart breaking experience! There we was, wanting kids so badly and here these people were not giving their kids the love we had so much of. After 10 years we just couldn't do it any more. It was about all we could stand when they would take the children from our home to go back to the parent that had abused them. My heart broke each time, to let go of a child that only wanted to be loved as much as we wanted one to love was almost my undoings.

    A short while after giving up on foster care we finally got the call we had waited so long for. They had a child that needed a home. Talk about thrilled! First child we added to our family was a wonderful, blue eyed, blonde haired, 3 year old boy. What a day, it was unforgettable! I can't begin to tell you how this made our family FINALLY feel complete. No more dreaming of what it would be like to be called momma! Life went on, and our son grew. We counted our blessings daily that we finally was a family and had a child of our own. It was funny when people would see us and didn't know that we had adopted. They was always saying how much our son looked like his dad, or my dad's family. I never said anything, and laughed often under my breath. It was an awesome feeling.

    Our son was almost 13 years old when we got a wonderful surprise. We was asked if we was interested in taking two little girls (private adoption). They were full sisters, only 11 months apart and needed a home. Well me being the person I am, and my husband being who he is jumped at the chance of adding to our family. My son being use to being the only child was the first concern.
    So we talked things over with him before anything was decided. He was fine with the idea of sharing, and in fact was excited to add to the family. He only question was, "how come no boys?" I explained this wasn't a matter of choice, we didn't get to "order what we wanted", it isn't a catalog order where you choose! I also ask him if the important thing wasn't that a child needed a home!
    He was all for it. So just as we had thought there would never be more kids for us we was surprised with the addition of two Korean daughters. The girls was 3 and 4, and what a blessing! I can't begin to tell you what a special family I have!
    I count my blessings daily, and I know God answers prayers. The empty heart of this woman was filled with the love of not one child but three. Adoption isn't a mail order,its not an easy way of getting a family. It takes stubborn waiting, longing, and more waiting. Miles of red tape, years of struggle, tears, and longing of the heart to make your family a real family that includes children. I know this story is long winded, and drawn out, but its important that people know that adoption isn't an easy way of getting a family. Its worth the struggle, the tears, and the waiting when things turn out, but my heart does go out to the other families that are waiting. Its something you have to do to know the feelings that come with it. Good luck to all of those that are waiting, and may God answer your prayers with a baby of the heart. I tell my children all the time that they are an anwers to my prayers, they are children of my heart not of my womb. They were picked from all the children in the world to be our's, and we count our blessing daily. My son is now 29, my daughters at this time are both 19, the oldest one will be 20 on the 30 th of next month. Oh how blessed we have been, to have three children of the heart!

    Sorry its so long, but I hope it helps in some small way to open the doors for others that are wanting a family!

  13. #12
    Registered User IntlMom's Avatar
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    Ok, after reading and crying over the other stories, I feel the need to share a bit of my story as well:

    We tried for over 6 years to get pregnant. The 4th and final failed IVF was in May of 1998. In June, hubby and I each came home from Church with a flyer that we had each picked up separately from each other at church “Adoption International”. There was a lady in town that was from Latvia and was starting her own adoption agency with Russian children. We called her and she went to her home to visit with her. She asked us how we had heard of her, and we told her of our finding her flyers in our church foyer. She was confused…..she had never heard of our church, and had no idea how they got there. (don’t you just love it when God does that? )

    So anyway, we start the process in June, and by August, we had “chosen” the boys that we both felt led to. So the months go by and we are trying to get all of our paperwork done, and it is all going smoothly…….untill December. We get a phone call that one of the boys was taken by a Russian family from the orphanage. At the time, in Russia, any family could adopt any child form any orphanage at any time, whether he was waiting for his American family or not. To say we were devastated would be quite an understatement. However, the very next day, God brought a little boy to be available in the same orphanage as our other son. The little boy that God “substituted” for us is now my beacon of light, my pride of joy, my precious, wonderful, amazing, compassionate special needs son. I saw his baby picture and my heart melted for him. In my heart of hearts, I knew he had some kind of development issue just from the picture. I didn’t share my thoughts with my hubby, cause I was afraid he wouldn’t want him if I thought something was wrong with him……..come to find out later that hubby had the same thoughts. We each shared our thoughts with a trusted friend, but not with each other until months later.

    Ok, fast forward to March 1999, we get to Russia, and we go to see our babies. They take us to the orphanage. A dark, sad, lonely, dank place that I am forever grateful that they won’t remember for a moment. They show us our oldest son (he was 10 months old at the time) – he was quiet but happy and general pleasant. I fell madly in love with him in a moment!! I couldn’t believe that I was finally a mommy!! Then they say it’s time to go get our other son. My question was “Where is he??? Why isn’t he here???” Turns out, he was in the hospital (think infirmary). He was so little, and so sickly, that they brought him here to wait for us to keep him away from the other children?!?!?!?!?!?!!??? My heart broke for him. He was 9 months old and not quite 10 pounds (yes, you read that right!) He was sickly, tiny, and weak and I loved him from the very core of my being from the moment I first laid eyes on him.

    I could write a book on my experiences, but I want to share one final part of my story. A few days later we were sitting in a dark courtroom in Bryansk, Russia, finishing up our paperwork before we headed to Moscow to wait for 2 weeks before we could go home to America. (at the time, there was a 2 week waiting period in case the parents came forward - which never happened, we think they just wanted more money out of us for two weeks in Moscow!)…….anyway, there was a 2 week waiting period before you could go home. I sat there with my sickly little new son on my lap, and this is what I heard: the orphanage director and physican began petitioning the court saying: “Would you please consider waiving the waiting period for this family? The younger child is sick, he is weak, and he is a DRAIN ON OUR SYSTEM. This family wants him, and there are American doctors waiting for him when they get home!” Yes, they really said this, and yes, my interpreter really let me hear all of this!!! I sat there thinking “WHAT AM I GETTING MYSELF INTO???” I sat there in that little dark courtroom halfway around the world, just bathing my little baby boy in prayer!! So, they waive the waiting period, and we come home early……..(obviously, I am cutting out big chunks of the story)…..and we get home Des Moines, IA and we are sitting in our living room with our new little family watching Fox News Channel. And this is what we see: The US embassy in Moscow was being bombed. It had something to do with Kosovo, I don’t really remember. BUT, because we left early, all of our appts in Moscow had to be moved up, including our appt at the US embassy. Our original appt at the embassy was around the time that the bombing was happening!!! (don’t you just love it when God does that?) He answers prayers we don’t even know to pray for!!

    Well, that’s a tidbit of our Russia story. My boys are both doing well. Our older one has ADHD (lack of stimulation and attention in his early months are largely to blame, we believe) but is doing just great, nonetheless. And our younger son, who’s issue turns out to be Fetal Alchohol Syndrome is doing amazing as well! He never fails to totally amaze us……God is so good!!

  14. #13
    Registered User forHISglory's Avatar
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    Intl Mom and Patty A: What stories! I can identify with so much of what you have written. Thanks for sharing.
    Spiritual:
    "You are fearfully and wonderfully made." Please... respect life.

    Financial:
    Debt free, hoping to stay that way!


    MY BLOG: glorybug.wordpress.com


    1. Keep on writing.
    2. Get some balance in my life.
    3. Lose weight. Hopefully 20# this year.
    4. Continue to be looking for how God wants to use me this year.


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    Quote Originally Posted by forHISglory View Post
    Intl Mom and Patty A: What stories! I can identify with so much of what you have written. Thanks for sharing.

    I have to agree. All wonderful stories. Then again in most cases, adoption is a wonderful story. To be able to adopt is a gift.

  16. #15
    Registered User frugalfriend's Avatar
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    Wow, what incredible stories! Thank you so much for sharing your incredible journeys with us. They are all so touching and brought tears to my eyes! Children are such a blessing!

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