What type of adoption should we pursue?

**Mamaof2rugrats** · 11-10-2010, 11:19 AM

We are currently looking very seriously into adoption. My DH has a child from a prior marriage who we spend 1k mthly on and get summers. I have a daughter who is 4. I have had many many miscarriages as well as a little boy pass away due to his disabilities because of my toxemia/preeclampsia/hellp syndrome when I was pregnant with him. I also had all the same problems when I was pregnant with Ella and of course with the miscarriages. I have been told numerous times it is not possible for me to carry another baby let alone deliver a healthy baby anymore so we are set on being done. ( Since we have to be....)
We are looking into adoption. We wanted a large family. I don't know that I will get the large family I wanted but I would at least like to adopt another one or two. My DH couldn't be more for it as well! We originally started looking into foster care but have gotten no where with that. My DH is in the military so we move around alot and fostering didn't sound possible at the moment. That leaves international or domestic adoption. I would *prefer* a baby but that sounds pretty far fetched from what all the case workers are telling me unless we do an international adoption. I don't know that spending 40-50k on an international adoption is the way to go. We have our home paid off- a 2bdrm/1 bath on 11 acres. We already have plans on the works to add on 2 bdrms and have the money saved for that. We will be moving and renting out the home when we get stationed somewhere new in about a yr and a half.
Anyways, financially we are fine. The house is paid off, the only debt we have is 1 car ( 11k left or so) and we have the money for the addition. We would of course have to borrow money for the adoption. International adoptions would work out better it seems than trying to foster to adopt ( impossible at the moment) or adopt through the state although those would be cheaper, it just doesn't work out with DH being military and moving around. Do yall think international adoption sounds like the way to go? Even if it has to be financed? What agencies did yall go through? Thanks so much!!!

**wanderlusting** · 11-10-2010, 06:29 PM

Sorry to hear about your miscarriages and your baby boy (hugs) Don't count yourself out of adopting through the foster system because you're a military family. A friend of mine is adopting their second sibling group and he's active duty Navy. Let me shoot him a PM for more info.

**sjohnson3278** · 11-10-2010, 06:51 PM

I don't know what advice I can give but want to send hugs your way. You have endured quite a bit and I hope that whatever you wish for happens for you.

**stinkbug** · 11-10-2010, 09:48 PM

My dd and her dh are adopting, locally. They are both military and he is currently deployed. The baby is due next week!!! They went through a local, regular adoption agency and were on the list less than a year. They also have custody of his two children.

**Mamaof2rugrats** · 11-11-2010, 12:25 PM

stinkbug- the local ( Missouri) regular adoption agencies that I have looked at for newborn adoption are around 30k. We would probably prefer that to an international adoption though.

**stinkbug** · 11-11-2010, 01:39 PM

Wow..I think dd said theirs is about 10K. And getting a newborn was not a huge problem.....and they were pretty picky. (Idaho)

**Mamaof2rugrats** · 11-11-2010, 03:48 PM

If I could find something similar to that I would jump right on that!!! In MO unfortunately I can't find anything like that. Do you know what agency they went with? Is it just an Idaho thing because I know some are nationwide.

**shp1055** · 11-11-2010, 05:09 PM

Have you tried Catholic Charities? You don't have to be Catholic. We adopted our dd thru foster care, but she was older and as a result, she knows her birth mother and family. Not the best thing for me, but she does see them occassionally now that she's grown & has her own child.

I wish you the very best with this. International adoptions can be VERY expensive and not to scare you, but I've heard horror stories so be very careful & very legal.