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Thread: But what can I do????
04-11-2011, 01:31 AM #1
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But what can I do????
I am hoping to adopt as a single parent. My financial ducks are not in a row so that MUST be done first. I know that. I would really like to have a 3-6 months EF before I start. It just makes sense to me.
But I really want to feel like I am working towards the goal of adoption NOW. The problem is that I am going to adopt through fostercare and I don't even know the ages or gender of my kids yet. What can I do to prepare?
Someone suggested that I read a few books on RAD. Hopefully it won't terrify me too badly...Does anyone have titles to recommend?
I also thought I could look around for sheets...even if a miracle happens and I get a baby, it will eventually be sleeping in a twin.
And books in the young adult genre. Can never have too many young adult novels is one of my mantras.
Does anyone have any other ideas?
ps. One of things I am going to do to keep my hands busy is scrapbooking a prayer journal using a second-hand copy of "What to expect when you are expecting" as pages, decorating it with found materials and personal prayers. A friend described something similar that she did in a women's retreat. I figure that even if are nine and ten now, God works backwards and forwards in time so...
And as I write this description it has struck me how appropriate it will be to use a secondhand book and found materials to make something beautiful and spiritual. A bit of a metaphor for adoption itself....
07-21-2011, 01:09 PM #2
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Hi there - I'm also single and doing private adoption via a facilitator - I'm waiting for a newborn baby girl at least 50 percent Caucasian. A few questions for you:
What age are you wanting to adopt? Usually when you start the homestudy process they want you to pick an age range. My sis adopted via foster care in L.A. - she had said she wanted a set of girl siblings between the ages of 3-8. She ended up with a four year old girl. She is now adopting the girl's older sister who is 11.
Are you adopting interracially? If so, what races are you open to? You might start reading books about adopting interracially.
Have you looked into the homestudy process? It can take a while, depending on how organized/good your social worker is and how fast you get your stuff done. You might want to start the homestudy process, knowing that you can be saving while you're doing it. My homestudy took about three months and I had a really good social worker and I was really on top of stuff - I think my sister's took six months or more.
Adoption can take a while -depending on your criteria. Have you thought about what emotional/physical challenges you're open to the child having? Something to think about. My sis was open only to very minor physical/emotional challenges because being a single parent is hard enough without adding the other issues. My sis took 2.5 years to adopt, although she rejected one adoption because it was a baby and she didn't want a baby.
What drugs are you open to the birth mother having used/the child having been exposed to? I am only open to a child exposed to marijuana/light drinking. As a single person, I just don't feel I can take on a child who had a heavy drug exposure.
While you're waiting to adopt you can always be saving money. I am totally in favor of having EF, but adoption almost always takes longer than expected and you'll have lots of time to save. You may take the time to get your ducks in a row, only to find then that you're waiting and waiting and waiting. I've been waiting almost two years now...sigh...I jumped right into adoption after failed fertility treatments.
If you aren't a member, you might want to join Single Mothers by Choice - lots of support there for single women who choose to become moms.
07-26-2011, 06:54 PM #3
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