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06-05-2003, 11:03 PM #1
Does/has anyone done foster care/adoption?
We have been thinking about doing foster care.There are so many agencies out here. I was wiondering has anyone done foster care?Is it hard ? If you had smaller kids(6,7,8) would you do it?How about adoption through the state?through fc
06-06-2003, 10:47 AM #2
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We fostered for 6 years and adopted 3 special needs kids. Because the laws are so different in each State and province, here are a couple of websites you might find interesting.
You asked if I would foster if you had smaller kids? Yes I would has long as the foster children were younger. At one time, we had 6 kids all under 5 in our home. its something though that you need to discuss with your own kids. They need to be made aware that these kids probably won't stay, that they won't take their place and one of the struggles we had was that our youngest dd who we had adopted, always thought she was going to be next to go. (thats why we stopped fostering!!)
Fostering parenting is not for everyone. It is very difficult to give up the kids especially if they are going back into a situation you feel is not the best for them or if they've been in your home for a long period of time. You give a lot in foster parenting, work hard with the kids and often the judge places them right back with their parent/s or with a family member that you feel isn't the right situation for them to go back into. You often have little say in the matter!!
Most children that come into care are special needs, in fact I would say all of them unless its a baby who is born healthy. These kids come into care because of abuse of some form and its a lot of work to help them heal, but its one of the most rewarding things you can do.
Its not something that you can jump into without doing a lot of communication with your partner and your own kids, without a lot of knowledge of what your getting into and you need to realize that most of these kids are not adoptable!! Thats the hardest part!!!
Would I do it over again? In an absolute heart beat!!!! I wouldn't even give it a second thought.
We adopted through our local agency. Two of the 3 kids we adopted were foster children that were already in our home and because they were special needs, we were allowed to adopt them. Since then, in our province they have made it easier for foster parents to adopt their foster children should they come up for adoption.
Talk to other parents who have adopted or fostered. There are wonderful adoption books out there you can read and get lots of information from. Pick an agency in your area and go to meetings. They often have information meetings for both foster/adoptive parents. If they don't, change agencies. If you plan on adopting, contact a lawyer and find out what the laws are in your State.
If you decide to foster - make sure you get ALL the information on each child that is placed in your home. That is so crucial!!!
You can pm me anytime if you have other questions.
06-09-2003, 11:06 PM #3
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I am currently in what our state refers to as "fost adopt" program. I foster parent to children that are specifically targeted for adoption since that is myu goal, to adopt. I currently have 2 babies in the house-14 and 11 mos. THe 11 month old has been removed from the program but is staying until she is reunited with her family (heartbreaking) and the 14 month old was an emergency placement that is now fost adopt. Like CJ said, all states have agencies and their laws and policies differ greatly.
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06-14-2003, 04:25 PM #4
My first husband (now deceased) and I fostered for several years in Florida. It was a terrific experience. My eldest daughter is a special needs adoption from there. The staff were terrific, the courts were very respectful of foster parents, everyone was great.
Then! My current husband and I became foster parents here in IL. It was terrible. Once they placed a sibling group of 3 here, not telling us anything about their background. I found out through my work, accidentally that all 3 were cocaine exposed before birth. This makes a huge difference in how you handle a child and what you can expect from them.
It took forever for them to agree to therapy for these traumatized children.
One I explained should be tested and considered for therapeutic foster care. They told me she wasn't old enough! We had therapeutic for infants in Fl. It was a nightmare for 10 months. They wonder why in Il they can't get foster parents.
In Fl. even though they get bad press, they were terrific in the county where I lived!
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