In the future
by, 11-20-2012 at 09:26 PM (1053 Views)
I am looking forward to the New Year. I am always looking forward to the new year around this time. I grew up struggling for money, with a single mom, who loved me without limits. It seemed like my family was cursed with not having money. My family did everything to make my Xmas happy. I was the baby of the family. I don't remember going without some type of Xmas present. My mother would even have money left over for a tree with decorations. I don't know how she did it, espically when we had so little during the year. But I was blessed to have a mother like mine. As I started to have children of my own, that old curse came back to haunt me. I was a single parent, trying to raise two children with low paying jobs. Majority of the time my family saw to childrens Xmas needs. I was either too broke or too broke. Most of the time, I felt like a failure, because I could provide for my children(at least not in the way I wanted to)
I do remember several wonderful Xmas I was able to share with my children. I was able to go out and purschase gifts for everyone including my family. Another time, I was able to get decoration(I will blog about that project later), a live tree and presents. I felt so proud of myself, that for once I was able to provide a Xmas on my own for my family.
At this stage in life it now grandchildren who have wide eyes, open mouths and screams to wake the dead. Once again, my funds are low and I have a mountain of medical bills to take care. I know Xmas should not be celebrated as a hoilday of just giving and getting, but know one wants to feel left out. I can't change the course of Xmas. It is what it is. I just wish I change my course. Happy New Year. I just skipping right to good part.