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I did it!! I cut 'em up!

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by , 01-21-2009 at 12:52 PM (1162 Views)
Ok, after much self-debate, I have decided to do the fund transfer, this will pay off that darn card in just a couple months now.

AND I CUT THAT SUCKER UP! Once the mortgage is renewed, I will close it. Don't need my rating adversely affected prior. But a nice $0 balance will look nice to them So it closes Jan '10.

I also cut up my other $0 balance card! I don't want to ever use that one again. Again, I'll close it in Jan '10.

Now it's time to plan a budget meeting and be sure dh is on board with all of this.

I so HATE talking finances. It was the one thing my parents fought hard over and it scares me. That said, we're not in horrid shape, if we are on the same page, and work together, we'll be clear of non mortgage debt by spring next year. I dread the meeting. Even if we only do a $1000 snowball, it means May '10. And that leaves us with $1600 discretionary funds(on top of groceries and gas) Dh has been very hands off and while i keep him informed, he doesn't often listen, then it gets out of hand and it's tense. I'm actually quite anxious about this, to the point of tears. We had this discussion 2 years ago, and he said he'd be more involved, every time I tried to set a budget, he said we'd talk later, so of course, we over spent. And I just said forget it, whatever. Now, he's wanting to be involved, and I'm somewhat scared! Part of this is his fault for ignoring it. Part of it is my fault for not being strong enough to say, we can't afford it this month. I can't turn my kids and husband down. I'm better with myself. I can deprive me, but not them. I'm such a wuss.

So in the next day or so, we'll have our sit down.

He's been so hands off, he gave me his bank cards, only has a CC in case I don't have cash for him.

It's got to change, he may be upset where we stand, but it's time we change it's time, it's worked on by 2. I've been so stressed, I make a nice snowball, then he wants to make a big purchase, so it undoes what I've done. It's not all him, of course. I do some impulse stuff too. It's not just one of us, but both of us.

So now, we have get on the same page and work it out. Get us standing together as a unit, and fight off the debt. It's time.

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Categories
Debt Reduction

Comments

  1. Debbie-cat's Avatar
    Good for you! Don't be nervous sitting down with your DH...if he has been hands off, any debt is his fault as well. I would also make a list of the big purchases he just had to have so if he does freak out, you can gently remind him of those purchases.

    Yes, you do need to stand united and once everything is out in the open and he is caught up, hopefully you can do it together.
  2. UUMomof3's Avatar
    DH and I are going through this very thing. One rule we've found very helpful is "no blaming". Not each other, not yourselves. The situation is what it is (as much as that phrase gets overused), it took both of us to get here. It's going to take both of us to get somewhere else.

    Good luck.
  3. Momto2Boyz's Avatar
    Good luck! I had a very hands off DH too for years! About 2 years ago, he became involved, and it has done wonders for our financial situation! I hope it all goes well for you!
  4. jestagrrrl's Avatar
    Keep your chin up, just keep reassuring yourself and him that this is for your own good and things will be much better if things go your way *hehe* but just be firm and remember to breath!
  5. SixxOfDiamonds's Avatar
    Awesome! In the sit down talk lots about goals. It always makes the horrid 'finance talk' a bit more hopeful.

    But I understand what you mean about not letting them down. My husband works so much he gets a day or two off during the month and he buys things for himself. While we can technically afford them with our budget, it means I cut back on everything for me. :/
  6. TinyDancer's Avatar
    Way to go, cutting up those cards!!!! Good luck talking to your husband about the finances....Let us know how it goes.