How to deal with anxiety attacks?

**nuisance26** · 04-29-2010, 09:17 AM

~My ds has developed anxiety over the last month and a half. We figured out the trigger(my in-laws)but not the why. He begs to stay home or go somewhere else(even if they come to our house), cries, gets feverish, works himself into a headache or stomachache, starts running to the bathroom and then cries himself to sleep.
This has happened the last 5 times we've seen our in-laws(once a week). They're nice people, we've seen them once a week his entire life and he's never alone with them so we can't figure out the why. He may not even know the why really.
I would really appreciate advice on how to handle the attacks when they come. So far we're just comforting him, telling him that's he's safe and that we love him.
I've been reading up on anxiety attacks in children and they suggest taking a child to the doctor if the attack persist for 3-6 months. But I'm getting worried. Especially about the sleeping thing. Ds does not nap or fall asleep during the day like that. He seems to fall asleep so suddenly after starting his attack that I think he might be passing out. Anyone have kids with anxiety attacks?~

**AnW819** · 04-29-2010, 11:15 PM

I dealt with anxiety all my childhood- and panic attacks. I think if my family would have realized I needed help it might of not gotten as bad as it is now.

I would highly suggest a trip to the doc. There are many things that can be done, and even counselling. Someone to talk to who can figure out the root of the problem is always a good thing.

I now get panic attacks so bad where I feel like I am having a heart attack (from what I read, anyway) and I can't breath, and its just terrible.

When I have an anxiety attack or just a bad anxiety day sleep comes very easily, especially when I am crying, so this I think is normal that he is sleeping a lot.

Maybe your in-laws said something to him that hurt him when you were not around, or maybe they (not trying to be mean in anyway---I am sure they are great people!) did something to him and he is scared to talk about it?

Good luck to you and your son, big hugs!!!

**2ndGenGranola** · 04-30-2010, 08:25 AM

I would look into allergies/sensitivities. Quiz the ILs about their laundry soap, body products etc.

My MIL didn't believe me when I said my boy was allergic/sensitive to a certain product. She would wash her clothes in it and slip it into books/toys she gave him to "prove me wrong". He reacted ever time. Also one of the maddest I have ever been at her was when I was trying to figure out what DS was reacting to and picked up a book she had given him and dry laundry powder fell out of the pages of the book. Grrrr.

Many think runny nose and sneezing with allergies/sensitivities. That is not always the case. Some cause a swelling in the brain (cerebral allergies) which put pressure on areas giving bad results (usually mood and speech). Some kids will even act "drunk" in this state. Read some books by Dr Doris Rapp -- "Is This My Child" -- "Is This My Child's World" etc...

**nuisance26** · 04-30-2010, 08:30 AM

~He has an appointment with the Doctor this morning. I don't know what they can do but I can't do nothing. I'll update later.~

**BeachBaby** · 04-30-2010, 09:58 AM

Sending hugs and prayers you get some answers!

**jas** · 04-30-2010, 12:08 PM

I have over the years suffered from panic attacks. About two years ago now I had the worst year ever it got so bad I was just about a complete agoraphobic. What hepled me the most was a website dealing with the bodily sensations during a panic attack. Panicaway.com I don't know how old your son is and if this would help him he may be too young to completely grasp what is going on in his body. It would not hurt for you to check the site out. They do want to sell the trick to stop them, but you really do get all the info you need just by reading what is free ont the site.

It was a miracle for me. I thought I was going to suffer the rest of my life.

**AnW819** · 04-30-2010, 06:01 PM

Thinking of you to see how the appointment went...

**nuisance26** · 04-30-2010, 07:29 PM

~Well, I feel a bit better after talking to ds's doctor. She calmed me down and after reviewing his history of social anxiety (although he had been stress free for over two years)she didn't think his current anxiety was out of control yet. She referred him to a Developmental Pediatrician so I'll make that appointment on Monday. Until I get his/her recommendations I'm to expose ds as much as possible to various social situations to build up his confidence. We spent the afternoon in the library where I got a book on helping kids deal with anxiety disorders.
I'm still concerned that his reaction seems to only be to my in-laws still but I'll discuss that further with the Pediatrician.
Thanks everyone for the advice and for thinking of us today. It was a comfort to me!~

**Liane** · 04-30-2010, 07:46 PM

Hope your son will be ok. It is always stressful when your children are having problems. You never really know what will trigger anxiety. I hope that he can find a way to deal with it and feel better. Good luck with the specialist.

**monkeywrangler71** · 04-30-2010, 07:59 PM

It might not be anything they did. Maybe he just happened to have that first one while you were with them, and now is associating them with the panic. With my son it is all about anticipation; he may be causing the anxiety attack by anticipating it, because it happened before.

Did that make sense? Sort of like thinking 'Last time I saw Grandma I felt scared, what if I feel like that next time, I didn't like it, I don't want to see Grandma' - basically working into a panic over worrying that it will happen again.

**monkeywrangler71** · 04-30-2010, 08:32 PM

I don't know if this will help, but with my son when he is having anxiety over visiting someone I tell him that he doesn't have to visit. I just explain that we have to go to so and so's house because Mommy & Daddy want to visit and talk. He doesn't have to look at or talk to anyone, but he has to come with us because he is too small to stay home alone. He will go, reluctantly, and just stay behind me until the panic is over, then he will ease out at his own pace when no one is looking at him. Again, his problem is mostly with anticipating, so it might not be the same for yours.

Our parents all know not to approach him when we visit, and basically ignore him until he makes the first move.

**nuisance26** · 04-30-2010, 09:10 PM

~Yes, MW, I've been reading about the anticipation thing with anxiety and panic attacks. I've had panic attacks in the past but trying to help a frightened child through them is going to be challenging for sure. Thanks for the advice!~

**NewLeaf** · 05-01-2010, 08:48 PM

It is really smart of you to take your ds to the doctor and get help now. Our ds 7 has Aspergers and that comes with anxiety. We are now seeing a psychologist (for testing) and a psychiatrist for medicine. Both doctors give counseling too. Ds has a theraputic counselor in school too. It took us 2 yrs to finally go this route.

I'm glad you are getting help for you and your ds now.

**philanderson1129** · 08-01-2010, 11:15 AM

I know this was posted a few months back, but how is your son doing? By the way, how old is your son? I've dealt with Panic and Anxiety most of my life, and I'm glad you're nipping this while you can. From what I understand, panic and anxiety are repressed feelings. Besides getting medical attention, the very best thing to do is talk to your son. Do more listening than talking. I think he may need to express repressed feeling about your in-laws. You may find that this has nothing to do about your in-laws. Could it be that you're expecting at the end of this month (congratulations!)? In your son's eyes, this can be terrifying.

Churches are great resources and often offer therapy on a sliding scale. I wish you and your family the very best. Keeping you all in my prayers!

**MomToTwoBoys** · 08-01-2010, 01:58 PM

I am also wondering this as well.

Our oldest son had really bad anxiety attacks. What we did for him was we checked on his magnesium levels. Some children with special needs, especially those who are on the autism spectrum, have an abnormally low amount of magnesium in their body. Magnesium helps to maintain normal muscle and nerve function, keeps heart rhythm steady, supports a healthy immune system, and keeps bones strong. Magnesium also helps regulate blood sugar levels, promotes normal blood pressure, and is known to be involved in energy metabolism and protein synthesis. There is an increased interest in the role of magnesium in preventing and managing disorders such as hypertension, cardiovascular disease, and diabetes.

We decided to try him on some magnesium to see how much that would help to get rid of his anxiety. Well, I can honestly say that after a while, it really has helped. He speaks to me with more context, has more eye contact and is less anxious about everything. He has less anxiety attacks, which are awesome for us and for him as well.

I'd suggest checking out to see if your son's magnesium levels are lower than usual. Magnesium can also be coupled with vitamin B6 to give relief for some hyperactivity and as such, goes with anxiety attacks.