GRRRRR vent
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Thread: GRRRRR vent

  1. #1
    Registered User Rhiamon's Avatar
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    Default GRRRRR vent

    So as I have mentioned before DD 7 has moderate to severe ADHD and a LD, and now has also been diagnosed with moderate to severe Anxiety which shows itself through Obsessive thoughts, Audio and visual hallucinations and threats to harm herself. She is also hyper sensitive to smells, noise and the way things feel.
    So this year we have had a crap teacher. No homework until the first week of October, and when I asked for extra work to help with DD printing she told me to go to play and learn and buy a book.
    So the school also claimed that they never got a copy of her psycho-educational testing. So I finally got them to get an IEP in place but they are still not giving her an EA. She is in grade two and reads and writes at the age of a Kindergarten. Her strengths are science, math and verbal comprehension. All of which she scored above IQ on. But they are still sending home reading homework that is way too hard for her. I just found out that they school she is in is the worst for kids with LD. But the other school that she can go to is supposed to be the best.
    So I am thinking about transferring her but she has made a couple of real good friends this year it is very hard for her to make friends, and I am worried with all her issues that I am and she is in for a real difficult time if I transfer her now. I am wondering if I should just let her stick it out until the end of the year and then transfer her. She has so many changes already this year with her father and I separating that I don't know if I have the heart to uproot her right now.
    I got her a real good tutor who is going through to get her master’s in education so she is going to tailor a program for her. I also have her in a six week Paws for reading program where she reads to therapy dogs.
    It has been a hell of a time with her, the Drs changed her meds to a slow release, but she has dropped to the 25th % for her weight and height. Her father keeps telling me that there is nothing wrong, and she can't go over there anymore because he does not handle her outburst well at all, and thinks she is just being a brat. So I told him until he took some parenting classes and learned to handle things properly that he can come see her here. When we were together I was always the buffer. He hasn't except her issues as a disability yet.
    Her out bursts this last week have been real bad. I have had to install alarms on the doors again. I had to sit in front of the apartment door until one am one day. My back is bruised. I am so stressed right now. Her father is only giving me 50 a month because he says he can't afford anymore. I asked him for half the money for her tutor and he says if he has the money. He lives with his parents pays for the car, and insurance, gas, I don't understand how he doesn't have the money.
    I have borrowed just about ADHD, LD book from the library they have. I have no one to talk to about any of this because most of my family doesn't believe me when I tell them how rough things can get for her. Some of them still don't believe she has ADHD. They go well why she can focus on Video games and TV. I explained that this is hyper focusing. Oh and two boys at school have started to bully her, which I have had to go deal with at the school several times.
    Okay thank you for letting me vent.

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    No words of advice, but here's a big (((HUG))) for you. Hope tomorrow is a better day.

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    Registered User mamachop's Avatar
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    I'm sorry things are so hard on you right now! Please, watch the bullying situation closely. I'll pray for you all, I hope things get better very soon.

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    Moderator mauimagic's Avatar
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    Rhiamon, this is a heartbreaker. You and your DD are dealing with an overflowing plate of challenges. Just wish that there was some relief at least at her school. Thank goodness that you are her mother - a true blessing.

    Wish I knew more about what is available in Canada - and then each area, region, school, etc is different.

    Am so thankful to hear that you found a tutor who is so focused on your DD. In the states, the parents are allowed (should be urged) to invite whomever they want to to the IEP meetings. Might be something to look into - see if the tutor could come with you.

    Absolutely great news that your DD has made some good friends - that is a major item!! I can see why that alone would be enough to want her to stay in her current school.

    We have different support groups here in Hawaii and some specific to each island. I know that it helps our parents so much to be able to talk and be with other parents whose childrens have similar challenges. Have you checked around your area for any support groups?

    Who diagnosed your daughter? Do they have any supports and or resources for you?

    You are not alone - we just haven't found where or who is there for you.

    Vent all you want - you have every right and it should make you feel somewhat better - won't solve any problems, but it will help release some stress - very important.

    It's hard giving young children medicine - hard to get the right dosage that doesn't adversely affect other parts of their health.

    Hang in there. That her father is in denial is not surprising. Sending hugs, prayers and aloha to you because that's all I have to offer - please know it comes from my heart.

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    Registered User Nana2two's Avatar
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    I myself having a child with autism and many other learning and behavior issues it does get hard.The father does need to get in with the IEP meetings.Do you have a discipline program for her? Some people believe that kids that have issues with behavior does not need strict discipline, they do it's all about routine. If she is above IQ in math and science then i would say reading should be done more. even though this is her weaker area. All kids are different.If you feel that the school is not helping her enough then take it higher until your happy with where she is. Its hard I know. My son is now 21 and he still has some behavior issues.

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    Registered User Syn D's Avatar
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    Wow! I think your DD has the teacher my grandson had last year, well until his psychiatrist shut her up.. He was diagnosed with ADHD with added Hypertension.. Well, the teacher and school kept pestering my daughter, they wanted instant results and were threatening to have child services to her home for neglect, cos' she "wasn't doing enough".. His psychiatrist called the school and told the teacher, if you, the principal, and councilor would give him a chance in the class and back him up a little instead of always being negative toward him, you will soon see improvements, but it takes time.. This year he is in a new school and new teacher and he is doing great...

    You really need to find some programs for you and your DD in your area, but until then, vent all you want...

    (((((HUGS))))))

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    Registered User militlady's Avatar
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    Thinking about you and your daughter.

    Have the Dr.s tested her for ODD (obsessive defiant disorder) It sounds more severe than adhd.

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    Registered User mamamia's Avatar
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    No words of wisdom, but feel maui really offered some good suggestions. Also agree that it might be best to let her stick it out at her present school at least till the end of the year. I can see why switching right now could do her more harm than good.

    And Rhiamon, I truly admire you for being so pro-active with this. It must be taking everything you got to try and make it better. It's really too bad though about her dad. Hope he'll "come around", and at least be there for the both of you....financially, AND morally. You really need his help.

    Hoping the best for both of you. And please remember we're always happy to lend an ear!

    Take care of yourself too. Hugs!!

    Theresa

  10. #9
    Registered User Rhiamon's Avatar
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    Thank you everyone for all your kind words.
    So I contacted our local LD office and asked about support groups they told me to phone the local childrens mental health group I said I was all ready involved with them and that they told me to call you. She said well then there is nothing. I think I should figure out how to start something because that is just terrible I know that I can't be the only mother in this whole city going through this.

    Its just frustrating the local childrens mental health called me and said since I hadn't called in a month or so that they wanted to close the file because everything must be going okay. I said umm no you said you were going to call me when you got the Drs, and psych report. Oh well we never got them. Well I sighned all the proper papers that they could talk to you.
    GRRRR I know that this city is one of the citys in a recent report said that it was lacking in childrens mental health services and LD services but come on how come nobody but me knows what is going on with my daughter, How come nobody is talking to each other even when I give written consent.

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    Moderator mauimagic's Avatar
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    Oh Rhiamon - just because you signed the papers for the professionals to talk with each other does not mean it will happen - have seen this happen here too and it royally irritates me.

    As you know you are your DD's best advocate. Start a group - that's what I did for my students with autism and their parents - we get together at our pool and talk and play - it's a process. Sometimes we go to the other side together (I drive to make sure they go - where they are more organized and have speakers, etc. It doesn't have a form, but our group has heart!!

    Keep us updated please!!

  12. #11
    Registered User mom2three's Avatar
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    Rhiamon,

    The drop in growth bugs me -has your child been tested for celiac? Have you trialed a gluten free diet?

    Have you read Kenneth Bock's book

    [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Healing-New-Childhood-Epidemics-Groundbreaking/dp/0345494512/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1288790558&sr=8-1"]Amazon.com: Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, ADHD, Asthma, and Allergies: The Groundbreaking Program for the 4-A Disorders (9780345494511): Kenneth Bock, Cameron Stauth: Books: Reviews, Prices & [email protected]@[email protected]@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51aPzF%[email protected]@[email protected]@51aPzF%2BLBdL[/ame]

    My children have food intolerances (particularly gluten, dairy, sulfites, and dyes) that manifest themselves in all different ways including focus issues, behaviour, growth, and learning difficulties. My mom tried gluten free a couple of times-it helps her think and write properly. Off diet,her writing and grammar is very poor (grade 4/5 level at most). There has even been a literature reported case of celiac disease being mistaken for autism!

    Hugs too-you are being a great advocate for your child.

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