Why is getting help so hard????
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  1. #1
    Registered User Rhiamon's Avatar
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    Default Why is getting help so hard????

    So I phoned the child and adolescent psychiatry today DD saw someone there back at the end of Sept. It will be another 3 to 4 months until someone can see her regularly. I also asked if they sent the report to the worker we have been seeing since last year. Ummm she said no. Did you sign the form for us to talk to them? I said yes.
    I was waiting until we saw someone to decide what to do about transferring DD to the school closer to us. I didn't want to move her if they thought it would be better to wait until grade 3. The local school is a five min walk as opposed to the 20 min walk to the school she goes to now. With it getting so cold I don't know if I can handle the walk, let alone her.
    I am soo frustrated with trying to deal with the system and figure stuff out. I phone the local LD association and they told me to phone the organization we are already involved with. Maybe it is because I am sick but I have been crying tonight trying to figure out what to do. It sucks being a single mom and trying to figure this all out on my own.
    I posted earlier today about DD coming home "sick" so I am keeping her home tomorrow and going to make cookies with her and talk about what may be going on. But I am also thinking about walking her over to the other school and registering her to start in Jan. The thing of it is she has moderate anxiety on top of her ADHD and LD, and any time I mention transferring her she cries for hours and pretty much has a panic attack. I don't know if I am going to make things worse for her by transferring her now. I am torn about what to do, I know she is a child and this decision is mine to make for her but I would hate to see things get real bad again. Her aggression has come down some and she isn't having so many OCD thoughts or audio hallucinations (the drs said that she has them as a result of her anxiety) as I have been trying my best to deal with her anxiety on my own. I just wish for one moment someone would just tell me what to do. I know that I am her mom and that can't happen I have to decide.

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    Registered User Demented Duck's Avatar
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    Just wanted to let you know i have read your post and send you my best wishes being a Mum is the hardest job in the world take care xx

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    If you really need to see someone, I suggest going to the hospital. Wait times for psychiatric services in Ontario are so ridiculous right now. The hospital always has an emergency psychiatrist on hand who can see you and refer you to someone to see regularly. This is the route my mother had to go when dealing with my sister's eating disorder. Going through a referal from the family doc it would have taken 4-6 months. If your work has an EAP program going through them is generally much faster as well.

    I'm sorry you have to go through this. It's hard to balance the wants of your child vs what you think is best for them. Ultimately I would say if your daughter is coming home more ofter than she is staying at school a change needs to be made. Whether its a change at the current school or moving to a new school for a fresh start is a personal decision for you.

    I wish you all the best in this difficult time.

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    Registered User Rhiamon's Avatar
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    So I did it and took her to the school and she will be starting the new school in Jan. I also have been speaking with her tutor who has some kids that go to this new school as well. She said it is a great school for kids with LD. DD is upset of course and I feel bad for her but I think in the long run this is the best choice.

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    Registered User Imarachne's Avatar
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    Sounds like it is a Mom's duty !

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    Moderator mauimagic's Avatar
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    I think that agencies everywhere make it a challenge to try to weed out those who really need help from those who won't wait to put out the effort. All agencies are also overloaded and will probably get more so with all the financial constraints hitting everyone.

    That being said - for those with needs and challenges, it does just make it all that more frustrating. I am glad that you werer able to cry - it's a good stress release so you don't blow up inside. I wish that your support groups were more active and supportive.

    Am glad that you changed schools - in the long term (and probably short also) it will be better for both of you. All children become anxious with changes as dramatic as this - and of courses with your DD's anxienty it is even more so.

    Am glad to hear that her other symptoms have lessened. What a load for both of you.....and I know that you will guide her through the challenging road ahead. IMHO and experience as children with challenges grow older, it is easier to identify their strengths and build on them as they prepare for life after school.

    Please keep in touch with those who support you. Although she and her family moved three years ago, I still hear from the mother of a delightful girl with very challenging disabilities - sometimes just to fill me in on what's happening and other times with cries for support and answers. As you are building yuour DD's support base, you need to build yours also. You both deserve it.

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    Registered User celina's Avatar
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    i'm in ontario w/an aspergers dd, i've lived in the north and now in south.

    my wait times have been better, but i make sure i'm the squeaky wheel, and schools will sometimes have an agency they can refer you too,,,,that's when i got the most help in sault ste marie.

    dd's axiety was very bad, strattera made such a diff. it was wonderful, when it kicked it she was in tears telling me how relieved she was...

    take her to visit the new school a few times next week, that helps my kids alot, see teacher, find out which class..see some kids...where will she sit..etc...

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